Transfer Student, Parents make 200,000+ a year, "can't afford to send me to a uc"

Paying for College
21

<p>I appreciate all the responses on here, I didn’t expect so many reply’s. </p>

<p>There is a lot of good advice here, and I see that I have a few options and what not. I guess I am just thinking the way I am because the deal was that I was going to be able to transfer to a UC after my CC. That’s what I agreed with my parents when I graduated high school, I suppose its immature of me to feel disappointed, but I sorta do. </p>

<p>@"aunt bea"‌ thanks for the info on the job outlook for psych graduates. I didn’t realize it would be that difficult to practice as a LCSW or Psychologist ,<-- which are the exact career’s I hope to work in, specifically with a focus on those who suffer with anxiety disorders. </p>

<p>@“BrownParent” You gave some great advice, as did everyone, so thanks for taking the time to read my stories and provide insight and support:</p>

<p>"Tuition and Fees* $13,896
Health Insurance $1,869
Books and Supplies $1,560
Room and Board ** $14,218
Personal Expenses $1,522
Transportation $620
Total/… $33,685</p>

<p>So your insurance might be eliminated. You can shave some off for used books or book rental. Research costs of room rental off campus rather than dorm and R&B can be cut way down. You can cut personal expenses. Your transportation will be more if you are maintaining a car. Maybe your costs will be 25k.</p>

<p>7.500 loan</p>

<h1>6,000 savings</h1>

<p>13,000</p>

<h1>7,000 summer job and 10 hrs a week in school</h1>

<p>20,000</p>

<p>then you mom pays 5k maybe. She will be saving some from you not being there, right?"</p>

<p>that might be possible to convince her. </p>

<p>I suppose my options would be: </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Move in with dad now, wait another year, apply again and see if I can get some grants to help with my tuition and board. </p></li>
<li><p>Commute to SJSU or SFSU from home and worry only about tuition and fee’s/books</p></li>
<li><p>Try to see if I can’t use “BrownParent’s” advice to bring down the cost to $25k. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>I just worry that I may become clinically depressed if I commute to SJSU and don’t move out. I feel pretty crappy about commuting to community college now, especially when I went to FTC 2014 with Circle K and saw my peers and what their lives where in contrast to my own. It’s just frustrating, you know? I know I am smart enough to go to a UC and it’s just frustrating that my parents financial decisions 4-6 years ago have this much direct impact on my young adult life, and ultimately, my future. I know for sure, because of this experiance, that I want to make a priority to get college funds saved up for my kids! (if I ever have kids) </p>

<p>I’d also like to clarify that the income is in fact over $200,000 a year. As I stated, my mom never when to college, but she did work out of highschool. So she has 10+ years of corporate work experience. She was recently hired as a project manager maybe 4 years ago and then got promoted to something above. Idk what it is called, she works for Cisco Systems. (someone had asked about it as I read through.) </p>

<p>I realize it may not be fair for me to place all the burden on my parents, but I would appreciate even $5000 which seems like a small number compared to the $240,000+ total household income (incuding my stepdads income.)</p>

22

<p>It’s their money. If they allow you to commute from home at no charge, they will be giving you over $10,000 a year in free room and board.</p>

23

<p>Your mom has her reasons for not helping. We don’t know them. Maybe her new H would get angry? Maybe he has kids that also need to go thru college and they’re not helping them, either?</p>

<p>You just have TWO SHORT YEARS to go. Go to SJSU for very little money, do super well and apply to the grad schools that you want! </p>

<p>I know this may not seem fair when you were promised something else, and your HS classmates may have had a better college experience, but you really have no choice.</p>

<p>NO ONE is going to lend you the money, no matter what your score it…you don’t have the income to support. Grad school is DIFFERENT. Lenders will let you borrow for grad school because you’re much less of a risk. </p>

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<p>You don’t have the money to move out nor go to a UC…Period.</p>

<p>Dial down the drama…If your core is so weak that living at home for the next 2 years will send you into “clinical depression,” then you shouldn’t be considering a psych career…rather you should consider yourself a potential psych patient. </p>

24

<p><<<<
to see if I can’t use “BrownParent’s” advice to bring down the cost to $25k.</p>

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<p>?</p>

<p>And what good would that do you? You can borrow $7500. Maybe your mom will give you $5k (ask her). How will you pay for the other $12k? </p>

25

<p>

No, it is human to feel disappointed. It MAY be that your parents feel disappointed that they tore through your college fund to stabilize the last few years of their lives. I imagine they had hopes, plans, and dreams that were crushed in this whole separation/divorce/remarriage debacle. Actually, some credit goes to your mother for maintaining the stability that allows you to be angry with her choices, or so-called “financial decisions,” and the bedlam and chaos that ensued.</p>

<p>There are those that say not to compare your inner world with others’ outer world (this in regards to FTC 2014). You really need to decide where your loyalties lay, and remember, there are others with a different story who did NOT attend FTC 2014.</p>

<p>In fact, your family exploded or disintegrated on you. Unfortunately, the timing was not opportune. The family, in actual fact, fell away from each of its members and each member of the family is trying to deal with it in their own way. You may be best served not to dwell on it, but to spend a bit of time striving for some empathy with your parents’ position- and then moving on with the cards you have been dealt. Whether you can do this living in the same house as your mother and her husband, or with your father, or if you need a roommate situation, is up to you to determine.</p>

<p>Good luck. If you want to go to UC, you may consider living with your father for >50% of 2015. Your junior year will then require financing based on your mother’s income, but your senior year will be based on your father’s (also true regarding CSU), but your mother’s support may also be less forthcoming.</p>

<p>A bit of a tangle, but you will probably be best served by taking "should"s out of it (including how your mother “should” budget her income) and removing emotions about what could/should have happened. You have been hurt, and it will take time to process through all of the feelings. You may wish to find ways to accelerate this process (move out, seek counseling, etc.) so you can forgive and reclaim your life.</p>

<p>One problem with asking for opinions is that you may get them. :)</p>

26

<p>It’s not immature for you to be disappointed. It’s immature to have a tantrum and make decisions on what you think you deserve as opposed to what is best for your future. You’ve got to let go the mentality that CSU’s are inferior schools for inferior students. That’s just plain old insecurity talking. Don’t bother comparing your life to your peers either. You know nothing about their lives outside what they are willing to tell you. </p>

<p>You are thinking of starting off life with 50K in debt for just undergraduate… how would you ever pay that off, support a family, save for retirement AND save enough to pay the total bill for each one of your children? It’s not nearly as easy as you think. </p>

<p>You haven’t mentioned where dad lives. If you moved with him, would there be other schooling options?</p>

27

<p>Well I know its not good to compare lives, It’s just a bad habit I have I guess. My dad lives 20 miles or so from where I stay, San Jose, CA. </p>

<p>I’m warming up to the idea of just playing the cards I was dealt and be done with it. In the back of my mind I know that I don’t want to do that, but at the same time it is the logical decision. </p>

<p>If I move in with Dad and do another year at Community College. Apply for FASFA with that income and hopefully get some grants. idk 4,000-6,000$ maybe? I would then be able to save up money for my tuition but it brings up a tricky situation of how to pay for my tuition that was previously funded by my mother while also simultaneously saving for UC tuition. It doesn’t make any sense when I look at it like that. </p>

<p>If I stay as things are I could try my best to find affordable housing and what not in Davis, average seems to be $650-700$ a month. So roughly half of what Davis charges for housing, roughly $6500. </p>

<p>$6500+</p>

<h1>$14000</h1>

<p>$20500</p>

<p>and then misc. stuff maybe $3000, looking at $23,500 or so. Federal loans of $7500, savings of-- idk $8000 equals $15,500. So that would cover tuition. I might be able to get a few thousand out of mom, so lets say idk $3,000. </p>

<p>$18,500, I’m close. The rest I could apply for discover loans, or work-part time on campus. 10-15 hours a week at 10$/hour is an extra 80-120$ a week I can spend towards expenses. I figure I could make an extra 3,000$ or 4,000$ that way to bring my finding up to </p>

<p>18,500$+</p>

<h1>4,000$</h1>

<p>22500, Idk really. This seems a lot more far fetched the more I think about it. I could aim for the national average of around 33,000$ of student loans upon graduation or less, like federal loans of $15,000, and some private loans adding up to maybe 16,000$ or so over two years. I figure $7500 per year, add on to that $3,000 from family, add on $4,000 or $5,000 from summer job and I would have my tuition covered. Maybe private loans of $8,000 a year to cover housing and a part time job during school to cover misc, books, food and clothing. Seems at least plausible. </p>

<p>I really could pay only $13,000 a year on SJSU. I would still have to pay my school off of a part time job though, maybe even take federal loans out. My gripe with SJSU is that I haven’t done their prerequisites, I have done UC Davis’s and UCLA’s… So that means that Fall 2015 is out of the question for SJSU, most likely. </p>

<p>The way I see it either way I’m probably going to end up graduating at around age 24. I don’t really see it happening sooner than that unless I figure out a good way to make it to Davis and graduate in 2 years at 23. </p>

<p>So really none of my options are ideal. I think the best option for me is to just get out of the house in some way shape or form. I think everyone is right about the destruction of the family and what not. I can relate to that and I think everyone sort of feels the same way about it. I hope all goes well for my 11 year old brother when its time for him to go to college. I’m sure to nag my parents about his future from now on!</p>

<p>Anyway. It’s way to early to stress about this now as I haven’t been accepted anywhere yet officially. I think this is one of those situations where I have to just let things happen and play it by ear. Whatever happens I will make sure to walk away with a B.A. in Psychology and I guess that’s the important thing at the end of the day. </p>

<p>I should really get out more and meet some girls too, lol! I think a nice relationship would have helped me when my family fell apart. I kinda wish I had something like that in retrospect. </p>

<p>ANYWAY, I’m digressing. I think I’ll leave this thread as it sits until I hear back from schools. There is only so much worrying before I start to call on my anxiety and Panic issues, and that isn’t going to help any. </p>

<p>Again, Thank you to everyone and their inuput/advice. I really appreciate it! </p>

28

<p>Don’t do and additional year of community college. Ther IS a maximum number of credits one can take…and you very well could,exceed that if you continue for no purpose at the CC.</p>

<p>Go to SJ…and finish. Better use of your time…and money.</p>

29

<p>IF you spend all your savings on the first year, you won’t have any for the second year.</p>

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<p>$700 a month times 12 months (there will be a 12 month lease), is $8400. (for two years, this would be about $17k, assuming no increase the second year).</p>

<p>You can’t just look at RENT costs. You have to add in: Electric $100, water (maybe included), cable ($75-100), internet ($50), and furnishing an apt. </p>

<p>PLUS FOOD COSTS…which will be about $75+ per week…so figure about $3500-4000+ per year.</p>

<p>AND…what about some entertainment costs? Are you a hermit? If not, you need to figure about $25+ a week for some sort of entertainment…going out with friends, maybe a date, going to a movie, etc. </p>

<p>Do you have a car?? WHAT about THOSE costs? gasoline? repairs? Tires? Insurance?</p>

<p>Forget Davis…This is the problem that I foresee with Davis…You might cobble together some money to get started for the first quarter, and maybe the second quarter…but then you’re going to hit a big hump and your wallet will be dry. Will your mom infuse several thousand to keep things going? </p>

<p>If you hit a big hump and your mom won’t bail you out, then what? You can’t just leave…you’d have a lease that still needs to get paid for. You couldn’t just start at SJSU the following Fall, because you’d have to wait til 2016 to apply and then go in 2017!!! Do you see how potentially disastrous this is???</p>

<p>YOU CANNOT rely on Discover loans. Try to get one NOW and see what they tell you. Likely, you do NOT have the income to support QUALIFYING. FICO scores are NOT the only things that are used. Income is a BIG consideration. </p>

30

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<p>It’s the kind that will let you have a young adulthood with a college degree and little to no debt. Many of us have done it. Many find it difficult to afford even that. It’s really something I encourage you to consider.</p>

31

<p>How far are you from an IGETC certificate? Have you looked into this? This is the CA community college certificate that the UC’s and CSU’s accept as blanket completion of lower division GE’s whether they offer the particular classes you took or not… whether the quantity of classes lines up with their requirements from current students or not. Only a handful of majors in a handful of CA schools won’t take it. You can even use it if you are a class or two short of completion. My eldest earned it in high school through middle college but then did not choose a CA public (got a big scholarship elsewhere.) If you don’t know about it, download the last 3 years of qualifications (as the classes change but if they were on the list when you took them, they’ll count.) See if what you happened to take completes this. If so, file for the IGETC at your community college. If you are a close to earning it, go for it… it would allow you to move to ANY CA public (unless you were a one of those particular majors, namely engineering, that don’t take it.)</p>

32

<p>You are 21 - a grown up in every sense. Your parents don’t owe you a dime and you are lucky your mom doesn’t charge you rent. Be realistic about your options.</p>

<p>SJSU tuition is around $7k/year - even for rich folks. If you are well prepared and really motivated, I bet you could graduate in 3 semesters plus summer - You could be DONE with school, BA in hand in December of 2016 having spent less than the $13k in tuition UCD charges per year. The right answer isn’t the always easy/pleasant path.</p>

<p>Taking a year off so you can, maybe. get financial aid will only delay your progress towrard freedom and true adulthood. </p>

33

<p>If you really don’t want to go to SJSU, then move in with your dad and wait for Fall 2016. Don’t take more comm college credits - just work your butt off for the next 1.75 years and see how much you can save up. You’d have a decent amount saved up at that point, plus you could get better financial aid living with your dad. </p>

<p>If UC Irvine or Davis is that important to you, I think that’s your best option.</p>

34

<p>OP, move out and get on with your life. You’ll be so much further ahead in 6 months. You’ll wonder why you didn’t do this earlier. I’m sorry to say that mom is obviously more interested in herself and her current man. Even with all the possible scenarios various posters have put out here for discussion, a real mom would find a way to help you - even if just a little. Hang in there and good luck. </p>

<p>One more piece of advice. Don’t feel sorry for her next time she’s down on her luck (as she most certainly will be). She may come to you for help. When she does, remind her of how you have to pay back your student loans.</p>

35

<p><<<
Even if I commute to SJSU, SFSU or UCSC, all of which I would prefer not to have to do, I still have $15,000 a year to pay. Theoretically I could pay it off with my part time job, but what kind of adolescence is that?</p>

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<p>Ok…your cost estimate is wrong for the CSU’s. You can’t put the same price for a CSU as a UC. </p>

<p>If you commute to a CSU, your costs would be about $10k. If you commute to a UC, your costs would be about $17k. </p>

<p>Adolescence? You’re 21 years old! You are waaaaaay past adolescence…which ends at age 19.</p>

<p>AND…you’ll be 22 when this is happening!</p>

<p>What is your complaint? That you won’t get to live in an apt at someone else’s expense? That you won’t get to live in a dorm? (the dorms are full of immature 18 year olds…ugh for a 22 year old!)</p>

<p>even if you COULD figure out how to work ENOUGH to pay for UC Davis, do you realize that you wouldn’t have ANY time to enjoy it? You’d be married to your job so much to fund your school. You’d have NO FREE TIME. What kind of YOUNG ADULT (not adolescence) is THAT?</p>

<p>If you want a “college experience” then your best option is this:</p>

<p>Go to the cheapest school…likely SJSU. You can pay for that with a student loan and some summer earnings. Work/save as much as you can over the summer.</p>

<p>Spend as much time as you can ON CAMPUS…don’t just go to class and leave. Participate in clubs, study in the library, etc. Immerse yourself. </p>

<p>Use your home as just a sleeping place and a place to get some free meals. </p>

36

<p><<<
OP, move out and get on with your life. You’ll be so much further ahead in 6 months. You’ll wonder why you didn’t do this earlier. I’m sorry to say that mom is obviously more interested in herself and her current man. Even with all the possible scenarios various posters have put out here for discussion, a real mom would find a way to help you - even if just a little. Hang in there and good luck.</p>

<p>One more piece of advice. Don’t feel sorry for her next time she’s down on her luck (as she most certainly will be). She may come to you for help. When she does, remind her of how you have to pay back your student loans.</p>

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<p>@menefrega‌
This is ridiculous! ^^^^</p>

<p>This student cannot afford to move out and go to school. This perspective is likely coming from a fellow NAIVE young person.</p>

<p>We have no idea if the mom is simply “more interested in herself and her current man.” It sounds like the divorce was financially devastating. She may have attorney debt from that. She may have had her savings and retirement accts destroyed. If she’s in her mid-to-late 40s, and she is finally making very good money (for who knows how long!) she may feel that she has to focus on refunding her savings and retirement. </p>

<p>This mom may have “done the math” and has determined that her child will not have greater success graduating from UCDavis with a Psych degree as he would from SJSU…he wouldn’t. Therefore, to spend all that extra money would be silly…and she’s already experienced financial difficulties. </p>

37

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<p>His mom and stepdad ARE helping. OP lives at home rent free, doesn’t seem to pay for utilities or food, and his mom is paying at least some of his tuition. If he commutes to a 4-year college, his mom will be saving him $10k/year. If he’s been living at home the last 2 or 3 years, that’s a $20-30k in kind contribution right there and that doesn’t include food, medical, laundry, and all the other benefits that come with living at home. Spitefulness serves no one.</p>

38

<p>So much advice for the OP in two short days. What should you do RIGHT NOW?:</p>

<p>1) Investigate with your community college whether you can take on class per term at a UC or CSU for credit. This is likely the case.</p>

<p>2) Investigate at UCI or UC Davis if there is any scholarship money in the department or extramural money. If there is, explore whether you would be in the running.</p>

<p>3) If there is merit possibility and you could be in the running, consider taking a research class for a quarter to two at the UC (yes, drive the 5 hours each way). Often Community College classes do not meet on Fridays. You could go one friday a month to meet with an advisor to do a project to prepare for a Junior/Senior scholarship opportunity. This option (#3) is very “shoot-the-moon” with low likelihood of happening or working.</p>

<p>3a) If you have time beyond fulfilling IGETC and lower division classes at your community college, attend either SJSU or SFSU and take an upper division class. If you have the required pre-reqs, you may be able to take a class at UCSF (doubtful, I know). Depending on transportation (BART to UCB?), you maybe could even take the course at UCB or UCSC. The advantage of a quarter system is you could get two classes under your belt for “free”, and they would transfer to fulfill (upper division) requirements at UC or CSU.</p>

<p>4) Make a detailed plan to try to graduate ASAP (as suggested by post #31). Meet with an academic advisor from your chosen commuter school. Immerse yourself in school and use home just as a place with a bed. Follow the other advice in posts #34 & 35.</p>

<p>{Once you have worked this plan WITH SJSU or SFSU, whichever is a quicker path to graduation, put it on paper. Meet with your mother and go over your plan. Show her how much money you would like from her and ask her if she will help out. Do this in April, not now.}</p>

<p>5) Set up a social schedule with each of your brothers. Schedule your time with them, your school work, and each of your parents- according to your priorities. Also schedule and budget an external social life.</p>

<p>If you start with #1, 3a, and 5, then work 4 in Jan/Feb, you will be in a good place. 2 and 3 are only if you want to “shoot the moon” and try for a UC.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

39

<p><<<
Even with all the possible scenarios various posters have put out here for discussion, a real mom would find a way to help you - even if just a little…</p>

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<p>@menefrega‌ </p>

<p>??</p>

<p>What makes you think that the mom isn’t helping “just a little”?</p>

<p>The mom is providing a place to stay. She may be paying the OP’s cell phone bill, his car insurance, medical insurance, as well as providing him a place to stay and eat.</p>

<p>The student has hinted that the mom has helped pay for his CC and may help with some univ costs.</p>

<p>IF the student is paying for his own car insurance, cell phone bill, and other costs, then he shouldn’t be thinking that he can direct all his income to UC Davis.</p>

40

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<p>I think there are only a few extra requirements for CSU that differ from IGETC. I assume you have the same issue with SFSU? That is probably the first thing to sort out. You have Spring Semester and Summer semester to knock those out- and if you are mostly done, I think the CSUs will still take you. idk, go now to the advisement center at the CC. Get this sorted. Get on a path. If you can, haunt SJSU and pretend you go there (if that is your target). Take a for-credit class and attend meetings for clubs that interest you. See if you can line up research with a professor for summer or for fall term. Get ahead of yourself and line yourself up for graduate school.</p>