I graduated high school in 2016. I came to PA from NJ to attend an “okay” college. My mom is very low-income, and my dad paid for my first year. I got pregnant January of this year. I’m now engaged, due October 11, and we’re keeping our baby. We’re low-income for now, although my fiance’s family & assistance is taking care of most of our expenses.
I have academic concerns. I finished the fall semester with an A, B, B, and D. I’ll probably fail 2/5 classes spring semester, due to morning sickness. My advisor and I tried to reach out to professors several times, with no response. I’m enrolled in a program that requires a 2.5 to remain enrolled, but mine will be too low. So, I will not be able to return in the fall.
However, that’s not my biggest concern, since this is my plan (due to finances/baby): I will take online CC classes during the summer, which my fiancé/aid will pay for. I’ll take a break in fall, then CC classes in the spring. I’ll be a PA resident by the time I’m done, so I will enroll at Temple. But, will Temple (or another good state school) be affordable? Will they accept me with 2 F’s (although I’ll retake these classes?) I’m a social work major, if that matters.
About this semester, don’t let the semester end without seeing if you can get a medical withdrawal “W” for one or more of your current courses that you are failing. Do you really need the prof’s ok for a W? Your advisor should be helping with this. But if you are receiving financial aid, you might have to keep a minimum number of credits.
Good luck and congratulations! I
Since none of the professors you and your adviser reached out to responded, ask your adviser to seek a medical withdrawal from the classes you’re getting D’s or F’s in, and as CheddarcheeseMN mentioned, you need to keep 12 credits BUT if you get medical approval you can go below that, not clear on administrative rules but I think you can go to 8 without penalty for a semester for medical reasons ONLY (not sure pregnancy counts but you can look into it with your adviser).
However, ACT IMMEDIATELY, as once the semester’s over, you can’t go back on your grade etc. So it needs to be fixed NOW.
Your plan is good theoretically but I’m not sure how you’ll be able to handle college with an infant: do you have care solutions (ie., a grandparent who can stay at home with the baby?)
@MYOS1634 I would imagine pregnancy would be treated differently because it’s a choice. I hope you reconsider following through with this, because having a child so early can be a life-ruiner.
Temple’s transfer acceptance rate was like 81% last I checked, but I’d recommend trying to re-take the courses you failed so you can replace the Fs with better grades. Temple’s in-state tuition is like 20,000 a year. And any debt you take on for a degree in a low-pay field like social work will haunt you because you’ll have infant expenses.
Well,it’s not an illness, it’s also a medical condition (your body gets distorted inside, organs are crushed, your hormones are totally whack, you can’t stand on your legs, you need rest you wouldn’t normally need, medicine and vitamins.) That’s why pregnancy is covered by health insurance: it affects your health.
Thank you. I’ll ask my advisor tomorrow. Daycare in our city is free for low-income residents, like Head Start. Some arent aren’t very desirable, though, so we do have family members who can help, if needed. @MYOS1634
I know babies can make things difficult, I’ve heard that non-stop from my family for weeks. That’s why I’m trying so hard to still get my degree. I’ll be retaking th aw two courses online in summer, along with one or two others. I’m not dead-set on Temple, that was just one option my advisor suggested. @philbegas
Basically you’ll be doing baby-related stuff and will be with a baby in your arms/near you all the time, unless someone else does it. Fortunately babies sleep a lot so you’ll need to get the things you need to do then, except you’ll be too exhausted to do much.
You need to set up rules NOW for who will do what each morning, afternoon, evening, night. It’s much easier for your fiance to volunteer now to do the two laundry loads and the ironing now, and to start practicing starting now - if you wait till September bad habits are hard to break. And no young man will volunteer to do laundry everyday so he needs to get into the habit now.
At night in particular if you wake up for the feedings from 10 pm - 3am, your fiance must agree to take on the 3am-8am period to feed the bottle and you must fill out the schedule, it has to be on weekly rotations (makes it easier for you to have some semblance of a sleep schedule to not alternate every day.)
Both of you also need to plan for a couple hours a day when you are alone, and a couple hours a week when you can be together (so, someone to watch the baby). You need to make that a habit now. My advice is to pick another evening than Friday because most babysitters are busy then and you want to have a 'safety babysitter’s ready.
For infants, the best setting is 2-3babies, a few bright toys, books (heavy cardboard) for them to chew on and get familiar with, no TV.
Don’t schedule too much for this summer: your body and physical effects of pregnancy will begin to limit you. Two online courses in which you get A’s sound like a worthy goal, alongside 'preparing for baby’s arrival '. Plenty.
But try to get medical withdrawal for at least one class.
So, my advisor said I may only be able to medically withdraw for the entire semester.
Although I would pass three classes, one is religion (not needed at CC), and one is a college-specific writing program. So if I withdrew for the semester, I’d really only be losing my computer class. I guess it would make sense, although it would be a pretty big waste of money. @CheddarcheeseMN@philbegas
You have several choices:
Once you enter college, all your grades are in a clearinghouse so that you’re not tempted to pretend bad grades never existed. So no matter where you go the bad grades would remain. However if you take 2 classes and get A’s it’d help too.
Is there any chance you might get an Incomplete, and finish the assignements for the classes you’re getting D/F in? (I assume it’s way too late to drop).
What do your parents and boyfriend’s parents think about withdrawing entirely? Especially your parents, since they paid for the semester. Might they want you to pay them back and if they asked that, would you be able to do it?
You have to be ready for everything.
My advisor said if I withdrew for the semester, nothing would show up on my transcript. So I’d either have an F, F, A, B, and C (only the B class would be transferred, though) or I’d have nothing for this semester (not sure if that’s true). With those grades, my GPA would be too low to return to this school until fall 2018. I plan on attending a CC for now either way, but academic suspension wouldn’t look good on my transcript.
My advisor and I have emailed the professors, they’re literallly just ignoring her calls at this point. My political science professor wouldn’t even let us explain why I was sick, since that’s “my business” (he’s very professional).
I don’t think my mom would be happy if I withdrew, but she knows my academic situation, so perhaps my advisor could explain the reasoning to her. My dad will be very angry in any case (he doesn’t know I’m pregnant yet), and he’ll probably stop contact with me. I don’t know what’d he say about tuition, but I wouldn’t have that money. My fiancé’s parents would probably understand. @MYOS1634
Are your parents separated/divorced?
It sounds like taking a medical withdrawal for the semester would be wisest - investigate if you’d get anything refunded.
@philbegas
<<<I would imagine pregnancy would be treated differently because it’s a choice. I hope you reconsider following through with this, because having a child so early can be a life-ruiner.
<<<<
this post is offensive. Pregnancy is not treated differently because it’s “a choice.”
And, suggesting that she abort is really offensive.
Why? I’ve seen many people around me ruin their futures having kids they couldn’t afford. Or if they were lucky they had rich parents support them. It was worth mentioning IMO.
Termination of pregnancy is not inherently offensive unless you’re a pro-lifer or something. I get that you’re a mom so you have a different perspective than me but that doesn’t mean you’re more right than me.
If my original phrasing came off as too heartless I apologize though.
Giving up a baby for adoption is also a choice, if that’s something the OP and fiancé want to consider. It is tough raising a baby when the resources aren’t available and it will be a huge challenge. It’s good to objectively consider all options and decide what us best for all the relevant parties–mom, fiancé and baby.
If you’re pro-choice, then you support not telling people what to do with their bodies. OP said she was keeping the baby. End of discussion. It’s offensive to try to convince her otherwise.
Termination of the pregnancy IS offensive, . . . . .to the baby. Can we say, “sensitivity training”?
@philbegas, I get that you are my dd’s age and are at or near 23 years of age so, did you read where the OP indicated that future plans are being made with the baby, in mind?
Your attitude towards family and children strikes me as callous and immature. You don’t need to be pro-life nor pro-choice to understand that people make choices according to their own needs. Flippantly telling someone that their lives will be ruined, as a result of having children, is overstepping and quite frankly, mean.
If you don’t ever plan on having children, that’s your choice. If the OP plans on having a child, that’s her body, her family, her choice; she doesn’t need to read a narrow opinion.
@philbegas “I hope you reconsider following through with this, because having a child so early can be a life-ruiner.” Did you really say that out loud? Disgusting. Having a child at any age is a miracle, not a life-ruiner. Geez.
MYOS1634 is giving you great advice here. I would just add to make sure you get your degree. Don’t fall into the (all too common) trap of letting your fiance get his degree first with plans of you finishing later. For too many women later never comes. And it’s rarely intentional. Life just has a habit of getting in the way.
