Transformation (Girls please, but Guys DEFINITELY welcome too)

<p>happyggal said: "just be yourself..."
That is a really bad advice. All the cool people I know became cool because they repeatedly did things that others thought were cool. After a while they forgot that they were acting and thought that they were being themselves. Also, many people a not cool by nature and if they contitue being themselves they will never become cool. So to be cool try to be around cool people all the time and mimic their actions.</p>

<p>Oh, noob, that is the saddest thing i have ever heard...</p>

<p>unfortunately, it is probably true</p>

<p>Wow, thanks for the messages you guys! I'm sorry to hear about your moving again happyggal but your advice is really encouraging. I'm glad to see other people have overcome similar situations that I face.</p>

<p>I really like the advice to be myself, but there are somethings that I feel I need to change. Right now, I speak English well but I have a different accent from others here, so sometimes it is embarassing to speak in class. I think that might be what stops me from talking a little bit. </p>

<p>Also, maybe some more shallow stuff, but what do you guys look for when you shop for clothes and shoes, and what kinds of shows are normal to watch on tv? I know these seem like odd questions, but I really haven't talked to anyone in school who is not foreign, so most of my friends listen/watch the same stuff I do (actually most of what I watched was American shows, but they were older ones).</p>

<p>Thanks so much!</p>

<p>And NoobTakular, you have good point too...that is something like what I said in my OP. I don't really know if being myself will make me accepted by others.</p>

<p>To tell you the truth, from my own experience just focus on school work, put all that energy in trying to be cool into getting straight A's. For example, Im sure Bill Gates was a nerd in high school and now he's making billions, he still looks like a geek and he can have any girl he wants:)</p>

<p>future, your bill gates info is correct, but weezer wants to be popular NOW, not in the future;)</p>

<p>Find people who have similar interests and become friends with them. Say hi to people you know in the halls, develop an outgoing personality, and soon you'll have many friends. Also, many "cool" people don't just hang out with the same group of people; they have different groups of friends.</p>

<p>And please, regardless of what people are saying, DO NOT BE YOURSELF! You've been yourself all your life, and apparently it isn't working (otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread). So change - girls won't know whether you're "being yourself" or not. They take you to be who you seem. And remember, 4 Things (LOOKS, INTELLIGENCE, CHARM/HUMOR, PERSONALITY)</p>

<p>All that glitters is not gold.</p>

<p>As a senior in high school, you probably only have about 4 months left so it might be too late to break into the upper crust of high school popularity. However, college will probably be a place where you could begin to re-invent yourself into the person you want to be. Thus, I would spend these last couple months practicing for college if you know what I mean.</p>

<p>my advice( for colelge): rent van wilder, take notes and take that **** into action</p>

<p>You're trying too hard. Being cool is a mentality, not a fixed range of trends and behaviors. </p>

<p>Of course, there's still some universal rules -</p>

<p>1) Be confident and casual. The unimpressive man is often one of many things - fidgety, uptight, uncertain, etc.</p>

<p>2) Don't overcompensate. Don't brag or inflate yourself. Just be aware of your abilities, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Successfully changing one's personality is rare. It's all too easy to spot a fake who's trying too hard.
eg. Short Man Syndrome, Skinny Pr1ck Syndrome</p>

<p>Being cool is much different from being popular. "Coolness" is largely about internal security, whereas, as stated earlier, popularity requires charisma and reaching out to others. It still requires finesse though. A young child can spot someone who's trying too hard or behaving artificially. </p>

<p>btw, I second the van wilder rec.</p>

<p>are you guys serious about van wilder? i've never seen it, but i've heard its a funny movie.</p>

<p>let me ask this...are popular people kind of edgy and mean? that is what i've seen in the united states...guys who girls like are always a little mean. in india, people would be mean, but it was clear they were kidding...here, it isn't. they're always nice with quiet guys like me tho...hm.</p>

<p>I haven't had any time to read any of the previous posts, but here's a few tips:</p>

<p>1) Don't try too hard to be "cool." Just be laid back.
2) Be indifferent to things.
3) Being popular/liked != being a jerk. Joke around/poke fun at people, but not in a jerkish manner. It just reflects poorly on you.
4) Be open.
5) There's no need to be completely buffed-out/brainless to be popular/liked. In fact, most of the more popular guys at our school are slightly lanky/very intelligent.
6) Get contacts (If you have glasses).</p>

<p>Last of all, don't just try to be popular. Try to find a group of people to hang out with (preferably intelligent people...). In the end, friends are enough, there's no need to be "popular." Unless you're really out to party/drink/get high :-/.</p>

<p>popularity does not necessarily entail partying/drinking/getting high...</p>

<p>i guess i could be considered part of the popular crowd (even though it is hard to distinguish b/c of the size of my hs) and i rarely get high, although i do party it up all the time.</p>

<p>and the previous poster was right, you can be popular and still be intelligent. I know that a few of my friends and I supposedly break the popularity mold b/c we are not going to the state college.</p>

<p>join a band. </p>

<p>well, if that's your thing.</p>

<p>I actually was in one back home...we played and sang bhangra music though...eh, not too popular here lol</p>

<p>Your advice is working. I already am getting to know more people...can't say that they're really friends yet, but I do have lots of people in halls saying hi to me now. It feels nice, and I'm really grateful to all of you.</p>

<p>By the way, I don't drink and do drugs or anything fun like that.</p>

<p>I have always found foreign guys extremely sexy. A lot of my guy friends ARE mean, but it is soooooooo refreshing to find a nice polite gentelman, so I might try for that. To go with this attitude, you might try a preppy look with abercrombie shirts or whatever. Be flirty and then ignore a girl, then flirty again and then ignore, etc. This will help you get lots of girl followers. If you want ACTUAL friends, then I would drop this cool thing and just be quirky.</p>

<p>Please don't change just for the sake of changing. I guess what people don't know is that they need to define themselves and not let themselves be defined by others..this is so crucial because we don't want to become a society of just straight up robots; following stupid fads and just doing nothing with our lives. Its just selfish...I guess in some way.
Btw you aren't alone or anything, but if you really want to change do it because its what you truly want, give it some thought beforehand. Play a sport..cause you enjoy it, lift weights cause you enjoy it, etc etc you get the idea</p>

<p>you dont need to necessarily change...
all you have to do is make a good first impression and back it up with some real character, and people will usually understand and see you as a sociable person.</p>

<p>remember you will never please everybody, so dont get yourself down becasue somebody decided not to be your friend.</p>

<p>Just remember that you won't like everyone and vice versa.
Just have confidence and be yourself- and don't upset or put down if someone acts anal towards you.</p>