If/when she gets accepted to a school, ask to speak to other Muslim parents or a representative from the student affinity group. Often, I see parents who feel that their child’s school is open and accepting but it’s not the whole story. If you can manage it, it’s better to get a first-hand account.
The coasts are more accepting in general, but they are not without problems.
In today’s world, Its just not worth it. Your child’s safety should be a higher priority than a fancy education that may or may not add opportunities.
I would respectfully disagree @“Yalie 2011” Most boarding schools are very accepting communities and can actually provide more of an accepting community than where you daughter is currently living. That may not apply for this situation, but from what I have experienced with boarding schools, most are very loving communities. The fact that your daughter is Muslim and wears a hijab shouldn’t make a difference to how students view her at boarding schools. Boarding schools can often be a bit of a bubble. School is your life and with what is going on in our world right now, it can be really good to have a supportive and inclusive “bubble” that you live in. @msvmp27 I really hope that you know that a majority of our country disagrees with our new presidents views and morals. Many Americans realize, accept, and love that our country is made up of people that come from all different backgrounds, religions and races.
I would have other options. If things continue as they are I wouldn’t send my child. They detained a 5 year old girl this weekend. To whoever said that she would be safe even if she was held at customs - well yes but I wouldn’t put my child in that situation under this administration in these times. Several stories came out of LAX this weekend of CBP trying to force people to sign away their visas. How would your 14/15 year old handle that?
Yes boarding schools are very welcoming and mostly liberal but I think it 's disingenuous to not discuss the subtle and not so subtle shifts that have emboldened many people to say and do things they wouldn’t have dared to do or say a year ago. There is a subset of prep school boys (mostly) that is very much in this category.
I’m so sorry that you are even having to think about this.
@cababe97 i agree with u on the safety and security when she is already inside the school. They are going to be in safe hands under the watchful eyes of the advisers & teachers. All the schools that we applied are open and accept who she is when we went for interview last October. Recently, two of the schools sent us an email assuring us that she will be OK and we dont need to worry about the changes. I am not that worried when she is inside the school perimeter. More when she is outside in town, at airport travelling, etc. For now, we will keep an eye on the news for any further changes. If things go south, we will look somewhere else.
@“Yalie 2011” is almost right - my child safety is a higher priority.
@PetraMC will check with the parents thru CC or whatever available medium after M10. Dont want to rush through things until we know if she is accepted to the school.
“Yes boarding schools are very welcoming and mostly liberal but I think it 's disingenuous to not discuss the subtle and not so subtle shifts that have emboldened many people to say and do things they wouldn’t have dared to do or say a year ago. There is a subset of prep school boys (mostly) that is very much in this category.”
@Momof7thgrader We have experienced the same thing, first-hand, at our “liberal” day school. (Yes, I’m an interloper here–this thread caught my eye.)
Op: contact each boarding school. Share your concerns and see how they remind to them. Ask whether they can share information about the community the boarding school is located in, how discrimination and insensitive comments are handled by adults (keeping on mind that teenagers will always act in stupid ways and say stupid things, regardless of environment - what is important isn’t to pretend they don’t, but what are the institutional mechanisms planned for that eventuality), and more immediately what has they planned for our daughter 's arrival, to ensure it goes as smoothly as possible.
As I said, at least some boarding schools are so far removed geographically that the students really don’t have a lot of interactions with the world outside their schools during the school year, other than school organized and shuttled trips. It’s not hard to find a school like that. But you are right - the travel that occurs several times a year could be a concern, but I think that if/when this “ban” nonsense is over, at least logistically things should go back to normal at airports and whatnot. The airport personnel are just implementing the laws. Most of them, I think, are doing their job as they are told to, so there will be no incentive for them to give passengers hard times if they are not asked to.
I would argue that between a rapidly changing national landscape and administration that, though very well meaning, might be blind to the slights and discrimination that a person who is a minority in terms of race, religion, etc. might see and experience, it might be challenging to get a accurate, fact based answer.
@doschicos 100% agree. Any school that tells you everything is fine is one that I would avoid.
I would suggest the bigger schools would be safer as they would have larger populations of muslims in the student body and seem to have Muslim student groups such as Phillips Exeter and Phillips Andover. The schools also seem to bring Muslim speakers to campus along with a wide range of speakers offering a variety of viewpoints and experiences, part of a balanced and thoughtful education. However, a quick google search of “muslim” and “Phillips Exeter” will give an idea of the current public sentiment in this country, not on campus but in the general public.
I’m increasingly embarrassed by my country.
If you want more information about St Pauls School, my daughters roommate is an international, muslim student. PM me
@doschicos I agree that bigger schools with long liberal progressive traditions are good places for OP’s daughter to be. But if they step out of the campus on a regular basis, OP may have concerns, understandably. On the other hand, I think she is even safer in remote small schools like Thacher and SAS. No?
@panpacific I guess discussing specific schools at this point is moot as we don’t know what schools were applied to. When the OP’s daughter finds out in March she can share with us if she chooses. However, I think it’s hard to say what is safe. MA is a fairly liberal state as is Ojai but even those areas have bigots. I don’t know much about the Middletown DE area. I was a little surprised when I did that google search I referenced seeing what is out there, but not totally surprised because I’ve been hearing about racists comments, KKK flyers and such in places that I hadn’t heard about it before.
@doschicos Agreed. I mentioned some school names to further my point that a remote school may be a better option for OP’s daughter under the current climate. Kids in schools remotely located can’t go anywhere off campus unless they are shuttled/chaperoned, so in that way the location is less relevant than say a school with the town as their “school area”.
I’m not sure I agree with your point totally. Every kid wants to be able to go get an ice cream or to a local movie theater.
@doschicos my school (Berkshire) is in what many would consider a rural area. While every kid wants to be able to go to town it’s not always possible. Even if you do go, many of the towns that are in the middle of nowhere have very small downtowns. I think that what @panpacific was trying to say is that when you go to a small school or a school that is in a smaller or more rural area, the school campus becomes your life. As a student, you live in a bit of what some consider to be a “bubble” and you life revolves around your school and it’s campus. This doesn’t mean that you don’t want to go see a movie or get ice cream, it just means that when not given many opportunities to leave campus, you take advantage of the campus and the area that surrounds it isn’t as fun as the campus itself.
@cababe97 I went to a school in the middle of nowhere myself. We still went into town sometimes and busses were provided on occasional weekends to take us to the small city 30 minutes away. Yes, you might leave campus less than you would at some schools more central to heavily populated areas, but I’d argue no student will stay entirely in the college bubble for 4 years.
@copperboom thanks for the thought but we have gone through the select/visit/interview cycle part of the school. I am afraid SPS is not one of the school my daughter applied to.
@cababe97 yes we did visit Berkshire school and did our interview there. love the environment and the school view with nice new building interior.
@panpacific @doschicos we didn’t apply to SAS and Thatcher also.
The schools and town we applied to all seems good in terms of religious acceptance and tolerance. Each time after tour & interview, we went to the nearest town where the student would normally hang out for movie / ice cream / bowling / laser tag. We did our own survey before applying. All seems fine.
We just hope that the good people in that specific town we chose does not change after the president change.
@jdewey how did the rally go? thank you for the support and participate in this kind peaceful rally. Wish the world is filled with more kind people like you and your family.
@Karme1121 which BS in Ohio did your son go to? a lot of expatriates where I work send their kids to western reserve academy. so we know how good the WRA is.
@MYOS1634 we did contact the schools and had our interview before applying. part of it is how they handle international student arrival and departure, transport to and fro the airport. We will ensure further once we got the acceptance after M10. Not to be pessimistic, but we feel there’s no point of asking them now when they are busy with admission and other stuff.