I am having sleepless nights since the travel ban issued by Mr President. The excitement of waiting for M10 acceptance results suddenly feels not that important anymore. We are not from any of the affected 7 banned countries on the list but we are from one of the Middle East country with Asian passport. My daughter wears hijab (head scarf) and she is very proud of putting it on.
Seeing the images in the news and hate messages in the social media make us think twice. After the shooting incident in Quebec, after finding out that Muslims are being targeted in malls & restaurants, some are being detained at the airport for hours for questioning. We don’t know if it’s worth it to send our 14-15 year old daughter all the way to US anymore. We don’t know if she can handle all these pressure if she is being questioned alone.
For now we are hoping things will change, we are hoping the schools we applied will accept her, we are hoping things will get back to normal. Or maybe we should start looking for boarding school somewhere else. UK & Europe boarding schools are 8 hours flight away instead of 16 hours compared to US. Right now there’s a lot of thought process, but suddenly M10 is not that important anymore.
I’m sorry for your anxiety. The incident in Quebec was a hate crime in Canada, which in general is very hospitable to Muslims. I think you will see an outpouring of support for the victims.
As of now, Muslims are not being targeted in malls & restaurants in any official capacity.
Muslims from affected countries are being detailed at airports under the new travel ban and sometimes deported at their own expense. As an American I am profoundly embarrassed for my country for the shabby treatment of those affected. I wish the situation was different.
However, you should also note the outpouring of public outrage at the travel ban, especially in places with high concentrations of educational institutions (Boston, New York, Washington). I don’t think your daughter will have problems if the school is in a location where people APPRECIATE diversity, if she gets into the country.
Should you be worried? I am worried. The current events are unprecedented in my lifetime in my country and I’m in my 50s. Each day seems to bring new anxiety.
Should you change your plans? I think that you should have backup plans because the future is uncertain.
Thanks @ClassicRockerDad I am definitely looking at couple of schools nearby here as backup plan. Just don’t know if they are past the due dates yet and a lot scrambling to do at the final hour…
There’s no way I would send a kid to the US for boarding school were I in your situation. Consider this period in American history as the reassertion of the original American privilege, and if you don’t share that, stay far, far away.
Unless you are applying to a school in flyover country, I would not worry at all. Nearly every major boarding school is liberal and welcomes diversity - thank God. I would also not worry (too much) about her travel. She is a female minor.
I went to a US international boarding school during the time of the American Hostage Crisis in Iran. All but one of the Iranian students left (he had a sister that had just finished grad school that could support him). We lost more than half our soccer team!
An interesting side note, my roommate was half Japanese and half Korean and her parents worked at the Korean Embassy in Iran that was very close to the US embassy, she spoke fluent Farsi and English and was surprised to see Iranian protesters carrying signs in English outside the US embassy. She asked some of them what this was about and found out they could not read Farsi let alone English and they were just being paid to carry they signs!
If I were in your place I would keep my daughter closer to home.
You might find more diversity in “flyover country” than you would expect. My daughters’ school, with just over 1000 students, is 25 percent international from 52 different countries. I think that compares favorably to any coastal school.
@msvmp27 It is certainly a time of turmoil. I agree with other posters, that your D would be most welcome at BS and in most public places but wearing the hijab does make her stand out for those who may be unwelcoming. As a parent, I share your concern about possible travel issues.
I want to say that I am so sorry and many, many Americans are outraged, saddened, worried. You are not alone. Your daughter will not be alone. She will be safe on campus, she’ll be safe in town.
The tricky part is going through customs. This we can’t predict.
But this can be planned for - to alleviate anxiety, you can practice dialogues in English on the topic (something that’s good for all students going through customs in a foreign language, regardless of region of origin.)
Communicate your concerns with the boarding schools. You could even ask if somebody will be there in the airport.
Meanwhile, make contingency plans - UK boarding schools are still taking applications.
Once acceptances are known, look at the situation. Don’t make any decisions now.
With respect, I do think we should note that the young woman will be safe in customs as well. At worst, she will be denied entry, which while terrible, does not mean her physical safety will be at risk while with the US Customs Service.
“Unless you are applying to a school in flyover country, I would not worry at all. Nearly every major boarding school is liberal and welcomes diversity - thank God.”
“She will be safe on campus, she’ll be safe in town.”
Even in areas not in flyover land you will see non-liberal and/or bigoted people. The racists and their willingness to openly express their views are more apparent everywhere. They feel increasingly emboldened.
“All but one of the Iranian students left”
So did I. Most Iranians left because they no longer had the money for tuition. It really wasn’t due to a sense of hostilities directed towards them, from my memory.
“We are not from any of the affected 7 banned countries on the list but we are from one of the Middle East country with Asian passport.”
Who knows where things go from here? Will the list be expanded?
Keep your options open for know. Things seem to be changing by the day.
I would keep your options open. I would really hope that at whatever boarding school she chooses to attend they are open and welcoming- I know that mine is and that is something I really love about my school. I would take it day by day. Find out on M10 where she was accepted and then re-evaluate the situation. Even in the past few days, the situation has changed so much so who knows where our immigration policies will stand in a few months. Just remember that so so so many Americans stand behind you right now and don’t share he same values that our president does. I would hope that if she chooses to go to boarding school, they would welcome her with open arms. I’m sure they would. Best of luck!
And many cities in flyover country have large Muslim populations, active communities and warm welcomes. And yes, hijabs are common here too (aren’t they everywhere by now?)
My younger child (not boarding) and I are headed to a rally tomorrow to support our muslim community, including some of her closest friends and their families (part of Ban list). That said there has been small incidents of harassment in public already. It’s likely that the US will be very polarized for the foreseeable future. If your child is accepted to a boarding school, look to the school for assurance that they are prepared for all situations and have a community that is truly tolerant…but most importantly you need to make sure that your child is emotionally ready for the experiences that will occur. Some will be incredibly inspiring, some will be negative, it is guaranteed to be challenging.
My son attends a boarding school in Ohio (fly over country) and there is no hate on campus or in town towards muslim or any other race/religion. You would be very welcomed and it is a diverse school. I would tell you to be cautious, and check with whatever schools accepts her. Most schools are very upset with the ban and have addressed it with the students and the parents. It seems to be changing everyday so keep an eye out for the news, but realize that the vast majority of Americans are not in the same mindset as our new President and realize that we are made up of a country of immigrants and embrace diversity. Best of Luck on your school decision.
There are many BS that are largely isolated from the outside world. And in itself is a perfect bubble. I can’t believe i am saying this but for the next few years they might well be the paradise for not just kids who are subject to malicious harassment because they look different but for all kids who are better hidden away from the harsh reality we all live in now.
