Evolution is a competition between genes rather than individuals. Hypercompetitive cutthroat competition between individuals is not always the winning strategy for gene propagation, depending on the situation.
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We are currently decluttering/packing things in anticipation of a move next year. Today I was packing up the last few things in D’s room and came across her ribbons/medals she got for swim team, studio dance competition and HS dance team. Interestingly the swim team participation ribbons were long gone but she kept the ones where she actually came in first through fourth. The dance awards were interesting - she labeled each one with the name of the dance, the group name and the date. Some were pretty impressive - some 3rd and 4th place awards at Nationals (I know she was really proud of those).
Despite the dance competitions and HS team she NEVER had any intention of majoring/minoring in dance or dance as a career. But it was interesting how many people assumed she did! Even her first HS GC kept mentioning it (and ignoring her top 5 class rank). Ugh. Of course when she went to NYU every other person asked me if she planned to go into dance - uh…NO.
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I disagree. The participation trophies are for being part of the team/activity and the kids know it (at least mine did). IME the push for being the great “talented” athlete comes from the parents who have stars in their eyes.
This is going on right now in my extended family. The grandfather of a now 11 year old boy has been telling people (in front of the kid!) that his grandson is “going to be a major league star”. (that’s an exact quote) since the boy was 8. Grandpa was a decent HS player who played briefly at a small directional state college. Smile and nod…
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I think of participation trophies as souvenirs of an event. My husband has a bunch of pretty cool medals for races he has participated in. “Been there, got the t-shirt” type stuff
I think kids know that too. For some kids it’s an incentive to try.
My kids have gotten stuff over the years but the only ones they keep have been the ones where they actually won. Earning belts in Tai Kwon Do did mean something.
As a hobby I’ve been in competitive chorus at international level.as an adult You know it’s a collaboration. The best singers will get solos (for good reason). Not everyone can be the best. You know it’s about the team and not you but at the same time you are still important or the team wouldn’t even exist. The smallest cog in the wheel is to be appreciated and the fostering of that ideal depends on the director. And not everyone can win no matter how hard you worked. Fact of life.
Always, ALWAYS it is stressed that the real winning is in taking the journey for yourself to be able to grow as a person and to take pride in getting better at something you love to do. But no, there aren’t enough medals to go around. But all the skills you’ve learned and the search for perfection will pay off in other ways even if no medal is won at the end of one day. But we still went for gold–and no matter how disappointed in the final judging-- your competitors were friends to be congratulated.
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A trophy given to all kids who participated in something. It’s a physical object that most of us who get them have to deal with as our kids grow up. Do we toss them or donate them or what? If a kid participates in something often as ours did with soccer, there are several.
In our soccer games kids also got water or juice and a hopefully healthy snack like fruit of some sort. Those weren’t trophies. No snack or drink is a trophy.
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Not one of my kids ever got a trophy. I am surprised how many communities and activities seem to be giving them out, period. That just isn’t the case in our area.
These are “external motivators.” Alfie Kohn has written about these and has some interesting ideas on internal versus external motivation and how so much of education relies on the former (including grades!).
We did avoid dance and music activities that were competitive and my kids managed to advance in both.
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I don’t mind the kids having received participation trophies (other than the cost / environmental waste factor). Never thought of them as a “win” thing, just a celebration of a season together. Some of the kids would have enjoyed staying home playing video games or reading instead, and it was nice to see them all getting fresh air and exercise.
But the parents and especially the coaches also deserved something too ;). We usually did chip in for a coach appreciation gift card.
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Wow, who knew that so much wrong with athletics was all “a direct result of the participation trophy scenario.”
Seems like the parents and coaches of the supposedly talented and successful kids most resent participation trophies. What’s that say about their “self-esteem?”
Even if they didn’t win? . . . Better be careful, the coach may end up with false self esteem. 
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You are so right, people really do make this into a bigger deal then it really is.
Even at my last job interview I was given coffee. The notion of celebrating and enjoying participation for participation sake is ageless.``
Being given a cup of coffee at an interview is not the same thing as a participation trophy. That’s the same as me offering a guest a drink or snack. I’ve been offered water and coffee in that sort of situation.
We where given free drinks and snacks and a “ Thanks for coming” info document pack . That was a participation trophy in essence. So I don’t think that it really stops for teenagers.
That isn’t the same thing either. If you’re at an information session on a college tour, the info packet makes sense. It goes along with what is being said and it gives you information that you can refer back to at a later time. I’ve gone to plenty of conferences where info packets were given out, it’s handy if it’s a conference you’re doing for professional development. I also think it’s nice to offer refreshments if a meeting or info session is going on around meal time. The free swag they offer is just a souvenir. It reminds me of being in New Orleans a few years ago on vacation and there was a huge optometry conference going on at the convention center. Everywhere we went, we saw people carrying the same tote bags from the conference. They were blue, white, and black and looked like nice bags!
At sports games kids get snacks and drinks because they just played a game and they’re hungry and thirsty. When my daughter did dance and was in some plays the moms always provided snacks…
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Re: getting a job.
It. Is. Not, The. Same. Thing.
I can repeat this too.
The idea that getting a job is the same as winning a competition is false, and it is an attitude promoted by the same corporate mindset that demands that employees give their all to the corporation, but that the corporation owes nothing to employees. It is the same corporate mindset that thinks that the best way to encourage employees to be more productive is to make sure that employees are inconstant fear of losing their jobs, of getting dinged in the paycheck for something that their superior doesn’t, or of having the pay cut.
It is a corporate mindset that wants all of the power in the hands of the corporation. So they make hiring a competition, and thus being hired is a “win” for the employee, that the corporation, in their “generosity” bestows upon the employee.
The idea of employment as a competition by employees to see who is the “best” is TOXIC.
Being hired is about finding a match between the employee and the business which is hiring them. The business is looking for an employee who works best for the corporation, that’s it. Employees who are hired are not objectively better than those who are not hired.
In the real world, applicants who treat the job search as dating, in which they are trying to find the right match, are far happier in their jobs than those who treat it as a competition. Of course, like in dating, you always present yourself in the best way, learn about your perspective date, etc. However, the businesses are, or should be, doing the same thing.
Any business which treats an applicant as though they are a competitor for the corporation’s favor, is a toxic place to work - I guarantee that
Aside from the toxicity of the idea that people are competing, with the job as the prize, this attitude also pretends that a corporate HR office can always find the “best person”, by some magical super-power that apparently is bestowed on HR folk by some higher being. More power for the corporation.
I see it reflected here all the time, with admissions. Kids are “competing” for admissions to “elite” colleges, and the “best” kids are those who “win” by being accepted by “elite” colleges. It is encouraged by colleges for the same reasons - it gives all the power to colleges admissions. Not only they have the power to determine whether an applicant is a “winner” or “loser”, they are the ultimate judges, with the divine power to designate whether a graduating senior is objectively “accomplished” or not, “Excellent” or “mediocre”, “Smart” or “dumb”, “Good” or “bad”.
It is toxic, it has a corrosive influence on kids and on adults, and it makes sure that the kids who are not accepted to the “top” colleges go around with the feeling that they are “not good enough”, while those who are accepted walk around the the Mother of all Imposter Syndromes.
But I guess that what is REALLY causing kids to walk around with anxiety, stress, and depression is the fact that some of them received Participation Prizes. Kids are constantly stressed and anxious at competitive high schools, the kids are freebasing Ritalin to get a “competitive” edge, kids are attempting suicide, or, worse, succeed, because they feel that they cannot keep up. I guess that this is because the pressure of getting participation prizes is getting too heavy.
The idea that has been raised that kids need even more competition to make them feel better, reminds me of the quotation: “The beatings will continue until morale improves”
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While it may be toxic, it is also reality for many desirable jobs, where there are hundreds of applicants for every job. Unfortunately for most people, the economy has been trending in ways that are disadvantageous to labor (employees) and advantageous to capital (employers), so employees are seeing a more competitive labor market than before. For example, millennials are generally worse off financially than their boomer parents at the same age, despite the millennials being better educated.
That is true, and it is a major driver behind the “great resignation”. Aside from ridiculously low paying jobs, which are set up so that the employers do not have to provide healthcare, Millennials are saying No to toxic workplaces. There are threads on Reddit and Twitter talking about red flags denoting a toxic workplace, and a major one is that an interviewer acts as though the applicant should be willing to do anything and accept anything, just to get that job. What is being discussed is that these are jobs to avoid.
BTW, the “hundreds of applicants for every job” is not what employers across the country are whining about constantly. If there were that many applicants per job, so many stores and restaurants wouldn’t be cutting hours because “we have no staff, people don’t want to woooorrrkkkk”.
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It depends upon what the job is. There are many companies who are still getting several applicants per job, but those jobs aren’t in the retail or restaurant business. Those applying to the competitive jobs rarely want to go into retail or restaurant fields.
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Hundreds of applicants per desirable job can coexist with lack of applicants for less desirable jobs.
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True. However, many of those jobs are desirable generally because they are not toxic workplaces with toxic interview processes.
Retail and restaurants (especially fast food places) are some of the most toxic workplaces that are out there, and this is coupled with abysmal pay and no benefits. Most of the toxicity, especially in retail, comes down from the very top. Many retail giants are toxic workplaces from the store all the way to the CEO.
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Which is why they aren’t getting oodles of applications for each job. But there are companies that are. We’ve seen several applicants for a job happen many times in the past few months.
If people only listen to the headlines they think there are oodles of job openings and anyone who wants any job can find one. It’s only true in niche areas employment-wise.
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I’m missing how oodles of applicants for each job has even a tangential relevance to this thread.
That probably deserves its own thread.
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I really think the issue is whether a player/student/worker needs a trophy for just doing the basics in order to be motivated to participate in the activity. Does the coach have to give everyone a “Best” at something for the player to feel that soccer was worth it? Does someone get MVP while everyone else gets Best attitude, best uniform, best save, best goal? My kids knew that they weren’t the most enthusiastic, the best dressed, the most improved. They were proud of getting awards for Athletic Scholars (all A’s, and on a varsity team) and one even got perfect attendance in Kindergarten.
Yes, an employer has to motivate me by paying me. That’s a given. Do I also like getting a bonus for a project done above and beyond what is expected? Sure. Should the employer be expected to give bonuses for ‘regular’ work, done as expected? No.
I’m not a big believer in tipping for every single cup of coffee I buy or at a fast food restaurant.
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I guess that I thought of the soccer team trophies as “season momentous”. Never gave a thought to whether it was for a winning or losing season.
In retrospect, they were a bit wasteful (sometimes paid for by parents, sometimes the coach)… and I have a big box to get rid of. But at the time they were a fun way to cap off the season. The team photos were also fun and certainly easier to store/keep.
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