<p>I am old enough that back when I was in school, few students had TVs in their dorm rooms. Those who did have TVs tended to be asocial and did not seem to go out as often. I decided that no one in my family would ever have a TV in their room. We have two TVs in our house - one in the family room and one in the basement rec room.</p>
<p>Fast forward to this summer. DS just contacted his new roommate. Roomie's email was short and sweet, along the lines of, "I have the TV, you bring the frig."</p>
<p>I realize that DS has already has a laptop that offers all the functionality of a TV. I also know that I should not inject myself into a new, stressful relationship for DS with demands based on my experience.</p>
<p>I guess this has me wondering how other parents have handled this situation. Do most dorm rooms have TVs now? Is expressing my displeasure to DS adequate, or should I be more insistent?</p>
<p>You can express whatever you want, but the fact is that if the roommate wants the TV, then he has the right to have it. So there is actually no situation to handle.</p>
<p>My roommate messaged me that she could bring a TV and I replied back that there was a TV in the main lobby, so no need for that. It might have been rude but I really didn’t want a TV in my dorm (noise and all that). She ended up not bringing it and we’re still extremely close friends. </p>
<p>It’s up to your son if he wants to say anything. I frequently played video games in a friend’s room, so having a TV can make someone’s dorm a social hotspot. On the other hand if he doesn’t want a television in the room, he’s old enough to say something about it.</p>
<p>My daughter just finished her freshman year and she brought the TV. Although our family does not watch much TV, it never occurred to me not to get her one. I really have no idea how often she used it, because there was a big one in their lounge area where they would all gather to watch sports. She has the same roommate this year and will be bringing the TV again. What bothered me was the refrigerator. The school gives us the option of renting a micro- fridge for what I consider to be a reasonable price. They only allow a microwave if it is part of the micro-fridge. My daughter’s roommate owns a refrigerator, but it is considerably smaller than what the school offers ( half the size) and it has no microwave. They made a deal that my daughter brings the TV and the roomie brings the fridge. My issue is that the fridge is way too small, and I would much rather pay to rent the micro-fridge. My daughter does not seem to mind and has become good friends with her roommate, so my mouth will stay closed.</p>
<p>D1 had a TV her freshman year, but then used Netflix on her laptop thereafter. She was still very social, it was just kind of her outlet when she wanted to relax. S2’s roommate had a TV, their room was very social with a lot of video games played, and lots of sports events watched. Someone on another thread said their son had a TV in his room and every Wednesday night they showed “chick flicks” and were quite popular.</p>
<p>Daughter relies on Hulu and Netflix. Really she used both infrequently, but Netflix was great for film assignments.
The only downside to living without a TV is watching your football teams play an away game. A bigger crowd pumps up the energy and fun.</p>
<p>If there’s no TV, they will watch movies clustered around one kid’s laptop. Since I find this pathetic, I don’t object to the TV too much. It may be that there just isn’t much communal watching of TV in common areas–at my college, there used to be a bunch of film societies showing movies almost every night, but they are gone now. TV-watching just seems to have become more common among college students.</p>
<p>Ultimately, though, each roommate needs to remember that the other is entitled within the rules of the university to make his space comfortable and roommate needs to respect that not everything in the room will be to his (or his parents’) taste.</p>
<p>My kid watches TV on the computer with headphones. I don’t think any of his roommates have had TV, but I do agree that the room with the big TV will often become the hub for computer gamers. My nephew and his suitemates senior year had a TV projector that used up most of the wall and a surround sound system, and were very pleased with themselves. My nephew got a Goldberger scholarship and is now in grad school at MIT, so in his case the TV doesn’t seem to have hurt him academically.</p>
<p>I would stay out of it and let your S decide. He should be mature enough to make his own decision. </p>
<p>Both of my Ds attended Universities that had common rooms that no one used to watch TV as they all had their own flat screens. D2 just graduated and for the last 3 years her private University provided a large flat screen for their on campus apartments. Each of the girls also had their own TV in their bedrooms. All of her roomies were VERY social and excellent students.</p>
<p>I agree with staying completely out of it. It’s up to the kids to decide about whether or not to have a TV in their room. D2 usually just watched what she wanted on her laptop, and said, frankly, she didn’t have much time for TV. She’s entering her junior year, and moving into an apartment where she’ll have a TV in her room.</p>
<p>One thing to consider - with a TV in your living room and in the basement, your child has probably enjoyed the freedom to watch what he wants. A TV in the dorm lobby does not afford the same luxury.</p>
<p>Since there’s nothing you can do about it there’s no point in being ‘insistent’ about anything (since there’s nothing you your insisting can achieve).</p>
<p>I don’t see a problem in discussing it with your S if you want but if you’re too negative you might just end up causing him some anxiety and worry him about it even if he’s not concerned now.</p>
<p>Something productive you can do is to suggest ways he might be able to cope with an unwanted TV (assuming your S doesn’t want the TV there - he might actually be happy about it) - headphones, trying to reach an agreement with the roomie up front as to hours the TV can be on, maybe how the roomie can use wireless headphones with the TV if he wants to watch it at hours when your S doesn’t want the noise, etc.</p>
<p>This is just one of a number of things your S may end up needing to deal with - roomie being a slob, roomie having lots of people in the room, roomie showing up drunk, roomie being unfriendly, roomie being generally obnoxious, roomie being just plain weird, etc. </p>
<p>It’ll be easier on you and easier on your S if you don’t inject yourself into this and let him deal with it. Be prepared to offer your advice if he requests it, sympathize, etc., but let him take point on these things.</p>
<p>btw - I agree that ‘not’ having a TV would be the best solution - it’s distracting , noisy, can help one to be anti-social but at the same time can be a gathering/socializing focal point for the sociable person to have all their friends around watching TV in their room - which of course would likely be distracting to the roomies not interested in the TV.</p>
<p>Hulu and Netflix were popular with D1’s circle, too. No TV reception in dorm rooms, plenty of flat screens in common rooms. The common area, watching games, is a great way to integrate (even if you hate sports.)</p>
<p>D1 was very committed to the fridge, initially for water bottles. But the common areas have microwaves. Personally, I hate the smell of burnt popcorn, couldn’t live with that. Let them burn it down the hall.</p>
<p>We have TVs scattered in the house except for the kids bedrooms. My D is used to doing her homework in the family room while watching a baseball, football game, a CW show or New Girl. So, we bought her a small, flat screen TV for her freshman year. It hasnt hurt her social life and her grades at all. I call the homework/TV watching combo multi-tasking. In fact, its more of an effort for me to sit down, just relax and concentrate on a TV show. I have to be catching up on work, bills, investments, news, dishes, exercise, laundry, and cooking while Im watching a show. She must have picked that up from me. If you feel your son will be distracted with his roommates TV, you can buy a blue tooth transmitter and headphone for the roommate to use.</p>
<p>TV is not a hot item now. College students can watch many things, and play video games on the computer now. These new media technologies are probably more distracting than TV. A TV that may attract other in a small dorm room must have a big screen.</p>
<p>If the roomie brings the tv, encourage your son to set some rules… especially if there are signs of trouble.</p>
<p>DD’s freshman roommate like falling asleep to the tv and leave it on, with the remote in her hand. DD didn’t whine because the neatnick roommate tolerated the mess on her side of the room. Lack of sleep was not the reason DD dropped out of college that year, but it certainly worsened the existing challenges.</p>
<p>We have one TV in our house…it’s in the family room. DD had a TV in her bedroom all four years of college. It had a DVD player and the dorm had cable. She and her friend watched movies, and some TV shows…and some sports event. </p>
<p>Honestly, her dorm room was like her living room. </p>
<p>If your kiddo doesn’t have a tv, you do realize the can stream many many shows right on their computer.</p>