I’m about two months into my college career now (I’m a Freshman) and at first when I went home and then went back - I’d feel sad for a day or so and then I’d be fine but now I dread going back after being at home - it gets so bad that even thinking about will cause me to cry and almost as soon as I get dropped back off I will have a breakdown about it. My sleeping also isn’t that great either so any tips for getting a good sleep in a dorm and getting more adjusted in college? Covid has made it really hard to meet new people so think this is also a factor but I’ve been fine up until about last week and now I just dread college and going back and wish I could just stay at home forever. Any advice appreciated
You probably won’t like my advice but it is to stop going home so often. If you are going home that much, you’re not making any social connections on the weekends or participating in any of the activities your school has to offer to help your transition as a freshman (and I have a kid at school, there are activities…they are outdoors.) Hopefully your school has activities too. I know it’s super hard with covid, but I have to hope that your school is still doing things to connect the freshmen and help with your transition…but you have to participate.
You could also talk to your RA or your schools mental health services if you are really having a hard time. There are people and resources there to help! As for sleep, there are standard sleep tips such as: eliminate electronics for at least 1 hour before bed, avoid caffeine late in the day, try to make your room as dark as possible, don’t exercise in the evening (but DO exercise, it can help your sleep and your mood and you might meet some people!), don’t have your phone within reach.
Hi! Thank you for your advice
Unfortunately for my school on the weekends there are not any events going on - there may be parties but I am not comfortable going to one with covid plus the police said they would start arresting people. I normally go home every two weeks or so - this time was just a rare occurance of going home twice in a row. My school has not done any events to really help with the transition which really sucks and is probably adding to this but thank you for the advice! I am trying to put myself out there and am planning on staying on campus next weekend so we shall see if things improve!
I’m definitely going to talk to my ra and the counselors - maybe my ra will host a event for my hall which would be really nice as she hasn’t done much stuff yet
Covid really messed things up and it really sucks - sometimes I question why I’m even living on campus
You’ve got some good ideas. Keep reaching out. Many students share your views. I hope you connect with more students soon. I wish you good luck, a sense of humor, persistence, friends to lighten the load and pass the time.
Are there some informal things you can look for to connect- pick up sports? Yoga? Dance? Study groups? Help other students? Local community service? Volunteer to help professors? Part time job?
Pick an activity that you’d like to try and ask classmates? Any guest lectures? Gaming? Try a new meal?
Remember your long term goals and find daily activities to look forward to. Keep reaching out. Re-evaluate at end of the semester.
@Starstruck24 this is a VERY common sentiment this semester and is not school specific. This is the time of year that many kids feel the same way, but covid has made it so much worse. Sitting in dorms, no orientation, no dorm ice breakers, no clubs, online classes…it’s making it very difficult for kids to meet other students and bond. Hard to make friends when you can’t have anyone else in your room or take off a mask to smile. D20 is in a dorm, but has mostly online classes. It’s tough for sure. What do YOU like to do? She has been doing things she likes (in the small amount of spare time after homework) and inviting others in the dorm via group chats. For example she likes Starkid productions, so she set up her computer in the large common room and streamed one on the big t.v. Everyone wore masks and were socially distanced; it was a way to meet others with similar interests. She did the same with online games like Jackbox. Try putting yourself out there by sharing what you love to do. If your dorm/floor doesn’t have a group chat, start one. I feel for you guys, but like @TS0104 said it will be difficult to make those connections if you go home. It’s hard, especially if you happen to be an introvert, but remember many, many kids are in the same position. Good luck!
Please have a look at this post and read the update at the bottom of the post:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do-covid-update-fall-20-p1.html?new=1
I agree…you need to somehow make friends…I am sure there are many others who are not going to parties.
My DD had a boyfriend at home and freshman year she would keep coming to visit him on weekends. She said she did because she didn’t have any friends. I said you don’t have any friends because you don’t stay on campus on weekends. Later, when he broke up with her, she was mad that she wasted a year on him.
We all tend miss things. We all tend to think something comfortable and known is better. Congratulations you are normal and normal people will seek mental health support to stay healthy through a trying time. You are doing hard things, but the kind of hard things that offer benefits. I think before you make any decisions, you need to be all in on your campus and going home regularly may not be helpful. You could also look for a community of faith, or like interests in the town around your college. Take this time to invest in YOU, not just your education. I wish you the best.
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