Two Versions of the Same Essay; Help me out here

College Essays
1

<p>Hello!</p>

<p>So I write two essays that are basically the same thing, save a few sentences and what not. The only difference is they way I ordered the paragraphs.</p>

<p>Would any of you be willing to critique the two and tell me which is better; some feedback would be appreciated as well.</p>

<p>PM for the essay and thanks!</p>

2

<p>I’ll be happy to make some suggestions for you. Just PM me and I’ll try to get back to you tomorrow. If not, definitely by Sunday.</p>

3

<p>Thanks! Would anyone else please help me?</p>

4

<p>you can pm me. i can give you some suggestions. :)</p>

5

<p>I would happy to read them and give my opinion.</p>