UC Personal Statement #1

Please help me improve.

Thanks in advance.

After a long one-hour wait to get my schedule for my senior year, I finally reached the front of the line. Just as I grabbed my schedule, my friend took it away from me and said, “Four AP classes?! A college class?! Hugo, this is your year to relax, not to take hard classes.” I stared at him with a strange look on my face, wondering why he was surprised. I have been like this for my entire time at Clairemont High School. I like the challenge that the harder classes offer. I also like the opportunity for college credit through the AP program. By taking advantage of the educational opportunities provided in high school, I very well might save thousands of dollars in college tuitions. I also took the opportunity to take many classes that interest me. Three such subjects were math, science, and French. Each year I made sure I was taking a math class, a French class, and a science class. I figured might as well take classes that interest me. By taking a hard class schedule through out high school, I am making sure I’m ready for college classes.

<p>why wont you put it al in one thread?</p>

<p>well i figured more people would read them if i seperated them</p>

<p>Not to sound mean or anything, but your essays are trite. Focus on the unusual! AP classes? Hell, everyone takes them! Why does that make you stand out? To be blunt it doesnt. There are MANY applicants who are taking classes as hard as or harder than you are. You gotta write about something else man. The essay was well-written, but the topic was a snoozer. Was that too harsh?</p>

<p>Thanks, I'd rather you tell me they need improvement that to let me submit a essay like that.</p>

<p>I like it a lot. Its good in my eyes</p>

<p>it needs a lot of work...talk about something else besides for your classes...they say specifically not to talk about ur AP classes even...also, there are soo many applicants writing that..choose something else to make yourself stand out</p>

<p>How about my interest in math and language? Talking about how I like math and deteremined to take a math class every year or something like that?</p>

<p>Everyone takes a math class every year. Others, like me, also take math as well as other classes over summer, as well.</p>

<p>Talk about unique aspects about yourself.</p>

<p>talk about why you like math...why is it so interesting...and make sure you indicate what that shows about you...have you been in any math competitions?...talk about that if you have</p>

<p>haven't been in any competitions:(</p>

<p>Ever since I was first able to add up 1 plus 2, I was fascinated with the concept of mathematics. Year in and year out, arithmetic would be my best subject. Over the years I developed a special interest in math. It’s no wonder why my favorite science is physics, since it deals with a lot of math. In middle school, I tried to take an Algebra class a year early, but due to scheduling conflicts I was unable to. I had made up my mind about my future; it will involve mathematics. As I entered high school, I was determined to take the most challenging math courses available to me. My ultimate goal was to take AP Calculus and AP Physics in my senior year; two courses filled with numbers and equations. This is why my senior will be one of my favorite years, the abundance of math. The feeling one gets when one solves a difficult math question is amazing. I love getting this feeling over and over again. By taking courses packed with math, I’m making sure I’ll be ready for the real fun; college mathematics. </p>

<p>Did this in like 5 minutes, does it have potential?</p>

<p>I guess not.</p>

<p>Yes, it is 10 times better than your first one. It shows what you like and I can see why. One thing--they can check of course, but make it easy and come on out and say if you are in those math courses or not (AB or BC?). </p>

<p>Remove this unnecessary phrase "Year in and year out"</p>

<p>will be one = is one (aren't you a sr now?)</p>

<p>I had made up my mind = I have made my mind up</p>

<p>The feeling one gets when one solves a = The feeling I get when I...</p>

<p>The first one was awful, you tried to elevate yourself by putting down others.</p>

<p>thank you!</p>

<p>Ever since I was first able to multiply two and three, I was fascinated with all the applications of mathematics. Over the years I developed a special interest in math. Arithmetic would become my favorite subject. It’s no wonder why my favorite science is physics, since it deals with a plethora of math. In middle school, I tried to take an Algebra class a year early, but due to scheduling conflicts, I was unable to. I have made my mind up about my future; it will involve mathematics. As I entered high school, I was determined to take the most challenging math courses available to me. My ultimate goal was to take AP Calculus and AP Physics in my senior year; two courses crammed with numbers and equations. Thankfully, I reached my goal and am currently enrolled in both classes. This is why my senior will be one of my favorite years, the abundance of math. The feeling I get when I solve a difficult math question is amazing. I love getting this feeling over and over again. By taking courses packed with math, I’m making sure I’ll be ready for the real fun that lies ahead; college mathematics. </p>

<p>Anything else?</p>