<p>If you do, I will PM you my essay. It is for the second prompt about the accomplishment, talent, experience..etc..
Anyone is welcome to edit. However, I prefer someone that is good at editing essays. High School Graduates would be recommended, but 09ers is welcome too! If you are interested, please post a reply here. Thank you!</p>
<p>yeah, i'll read it. i'm 09 but im pretty much done with UCs</p>
<p>Sure, I'll take a look. I've already submitted my UC app.</p>
<p>That's good. When did you submitted yours? Darn..I still need to worry about college apps over the Thanksgiving break! I think I'm going to submitted Friday at the latest. Anyways here's my essay. Please give me some good critiques and feedback. Check for structure, organization, content, and grammar. Thanks! </p>
<p>UC Personal Statement #2
Butterflies churning in the stomach and the uneasy feelings are typical emotions one might feel when attending college for the first time. The first experience of a real college class is one that may be intimidating for high school students. I did not let that intimidation stop me from achieving my goal which is to get prepared for college. I was one of the lucky ones that got chosen to get a feel of what college was like. My first college experience at UCSD for the Hughes Scholars Research Institute Program was a memorable experience as it broaden my view on science. This experience was also an accomplishment, as I endured many struggles along the way to reach success.
My first impression of college classes at UCSD is that it was going to be exceedingly difficult and I had doubts of whether I can pass the class. On the first day of class, I was completely lost. It was difficult to sit there for three hours listening to the professor, and attempt to understand just a little part of his lecture. My understanding of science rapidly rose downstream as the concepts was getting difficult to comprehend. On the first quiz, I was panicking as I knew I do not understand much in the class. During the lectures I was able to grasp onto the information, but not long enough to remember it. That is where I ran into a rough patch and had to try to climb back out.
I continued to struggle to understand the vast amount of concepts of Biology. The topics bored me and the long hours of ongoing lectures made the class barely bearable. I failed every quiz but that did not stop me from accomplishing my goal. My failures did not make me want to give up; rather, it motivated me to try harder. My only chance of passing the class is doing well on the final. It was an life or death situation. The night before the final, I studied really hard and pass the final with a B. This was the time I felt very proud of myself for having the motivation to accomplished such an obstacle. I never stop trying my best and that is where my success lies in the end.
This experience has enriched my understanding of Bioloy in a higher level. The results reflected that my effort was worthwhile even though I had to overcome some struggles. This was important to me as it helped me grow intellectually to prepare for college. My struggles throughout this experience has influence me to realize that success is not something that is given, it is something that only can be earned. The message I received from that we will always have struggles in our lives but that is not the important part; it is what we learn from it and the success that comes along with it.</p>