UC Personal Statement Ideas - please help!

College Essays
1

<p>I am going to begin writing my personal statements over the summer so I can make them as best as possible. I have ideas on what to write about for each, but I want to make sure that I'm really aiming at what the admissions officers are looking for. </p>

<p>Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
-For this one I want to talk about my dreams to enter the medical field and become an anesthesiologist. I am not sure if I should talk about how my internship at a hospital has influenced this dream in this prompt or in the second prompt. I could also talk about how my family, with all of their physical and mental disabilities, has influenced me to want to help others, but I feel like that is too broad and not creative enough.</p>

<p>Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that's important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
-So, again, I am not too sure if I should talk about my internship at a hospital here or in the first prompt. However, I could also talk about how I was able to overcome the mental illness that runs in my entire family (which has caused all of them to really do nothing with their lives) and how seeing this has allowed me to strive and achieve big things. </p>

<p>I also feel like all of these ideas I have are common among applicants. I want these to be creative and I don't want to get too off track, so if anyone could give me feedback and some tips it would be much appreciated! </p>

2

<ol>
<li><p>For UC they are directly inviting you to relate the circumstances that create ‘your world’ so I would not omit discussion of family influences especially as they are relevant. You can mention your internship here but it is not ‘the world you came from’ so do not make it the focal point. They are asking for self analysis of the influences on you, your response and how that shaped you and your ambition. Promoting your internship isn’t self analysis. Why you looked for the internship is.</p></li>
<li><p>You don’t even mention the personal quality that you are addressing. Why don’t you focus on what it is. Resilience, insight, ambition, etc? Then use the rest as an example of that, or use a couple of examples.</p></li>
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<p>No one has the same personal story. Although there are many MD wannabe’s, your personal story can show your level of understanding of what that entails. I guess to tell a story in an interesting way is a good thing.</p>

3

<p>I would have to agree with @BrownParent for both your prompts. Just remember when writing your essays, don’t forget that this essay should be about you.</p>

4

<p>Sorry for butting into your thread, OP, but I was wondering…for which UC prompt would an essay about dealing with/overcoming a disease be appropriate? Or would that topic even be a good idea at all? Thanks. </p>