UC Personal Statement Ideas! Are they good enough?

<p>Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from- for example, your family, community, or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. </p>

<p>Idea for this one:
1. Talk about my mom's heart problems and health conditions. The way the technology in her heart supports her is similar to how i support my family. Use parallelism between the tech & me.. This way i"m talking about my family and how they shaped my dreams and aspirations.</p>

<p>Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are? </p>

<p>Idea for this one:
1. I'm interested in both science and art and wanted to somehow combine it and show my talent. When i do something with art, I always like to add color so I wanted to do something with color. Science has 7 colors (ROYGBIV) but in my mind...there are way more. something along those lines.. </p>

<p>What do you guys think? Any suggestions or changes?</p>

<p>Sometimes I think people spend too much time working on the “perfect” topic. It’s better to write a great essay about a “bad” topic than a boring essay about a “great” topic. I put those descriptors in quotation marks because I really don’t think there are bad topics (aside from blatantly offensive or completely irrelevant ones).</p>

<p>That said, I think any of those topics could be worked into a decent essay. Make sure the concerns over your mother’s health condition don’t come off as cliche… Such topics are common, but that’s fine if you really write a good, unique essay. </p>

<p>The rule of thumb is to reread your essay and ask, “Could anyone have written this but me?” If yes, start over. Unique doesn’t mean, “Nobody would have thought of this.” It means, “Nobody could have thought of this.”</p>

<p>Here’s a very useful site I found, in case you haven’t seen it yet. Good luck!</p>

<p>[Essays</a>, Admission Information, Undergraduate Admission, U.Va.](<a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html]Essays”>http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html)</p>

<p>I think those are both strong topics. </p>

<p>Topic 1: Is your mom’s health really one of the biggest influences on your dreams and aspirations? If so, go for it! Just make sure your tone doesn’t enter into the realm of “please feel sorry for me.”</p>

<p>Topic 2: That sounds like it describes your personality, based on what you said in your post. Love the topic.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>Thank you for all the help. I’ll rethink about this and see what’s perfect for me.
:)</p>