UC Personal Statement Prompt #2

<p>Can someone please help edit and point me in the right direction on my second prompt?</p>

<p>Prompt 2:
Pain, to me, is merely a movable obstacle to achieve victory. Without pain, our goals can be so easily achieved; with pain, it makes our accomplishments all the more rewarding. During my 2nd Dan black belt testing, I experienced pain like I never believed, but overcame it.
For the better part of nine years of my life, I was enrolled in Tae Kwon Do. By enrolling, I managed to conceive self-control and perseverance that proved to be vital to my well-being and self-complacency. Over the years, I trained harder and used the sparring and Tae Kwon Do forms to release my suppressed emotions or impulses. Eventually, I rose through the ranks and qualified for testing to the 2nd Dan of my black belt. After months of training, the day before my testing arrived and I was physically and mentally capable of victory. However, an unfortunate accident, done by my own hand, led to two sprained wrists. When going to my sensei for advice, he suggested I postpone my testing for another six months, or to not let the pain destroy what I had devoted all of my training to.
On the day of testing, I underwent an internal struggle over what I should choose. After much great debate, I chose to continue on with my testing. Even though there was a chance that my injuries would lead to failure, I pushed on. As Lance Armstrong once said, “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever”. I knew that if I wanted to receive that intrinsic reward, then I would have to overcome this pain because it was merely an obstacle that one has to overcome. In the end, I received my 2nd Dan black belt with honors because of my exemplary demonstration of the principles of a true martial artist attests to.
My accomplishment of succeeding in my goal by overcoming man’s greatest obstacle: pain, is what makes me feel so significant in this world. In a dire situation, I said no to the easiest option and endured. The pain I experienced was indescribable, but my innate desire to succeed undertook my insignificant grievances and in the end, I prevailed. In the end, I achieved my mental equanimity that I had so desired. </p>

<p>Much appreciated.</p>