UF Admission Essay help

<p>Any editing or advice on this essay would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. </p>

<p>Prompt: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service. </p>

<p>As I leave the ramp and begin to rotate, my wakeboard is booted farther off axis than usual, resulting in a straight-legged landing. An excruciating pain originates in my knee and at this moment, stored mental images of the championship trophy in my hands begin to fade into a blur of life-altering injuries. In the next two years, I would experience a broken hand, degenerative disc in my back, arthroscopic hip surgery, and very little time on the water. Rest is the most important, yet most difficult, part of the injury process; so to fill the void in my life, I was forced to pursue alternative interests.
The first alternative I discovered was in the vibrations of the six metal strings on my sister’s guitar. There was no need for my knee while I learned, practiced, and repeated techniques and songs for hours on end. Similar to the motivation earned from watching professional wakeboarders, the sounds of Ben Howard and other influential artists keep me striving to become a skilled guitarist and musician.
In my academic pursuits I decided to take a class that I nearly dropped because of its reputation for time consumption and difficulty, AP Physics B. This, also, seems to have been one of the better decisions of my life. With a one-track mind solely focused on wakeboarding, I likely would have dropped the class. But I have found myself enjoying my physics homework. Achievements such as the Curiosity mission to Mars and safety innovations like self-driven automobiles inspire me to involve myself in the field of science. It has become a true hobby of mine to study and apply physics. Few things can keep me occupied while resting after a surgery like Feynman’s lectures on quantum mechanics.
I also began to involve myself in an environmental initiative called Project Baseline, which was created to spread awareness about the rapidly changing aquatic environments all around the world. The project places responsibility in the hands of average divers to publish data and video from dive sites as a basis for comparison. I participate by producing videos and recording data for the Project Baseline website, and I have a great time in the process. I have discovered that there is a great sense of gratification to be earned from helping improve the quality of the earth.
Injuries have postponed the goals I’ve always longed to achieve, but I now realize that they have forced me to seek passions aside from wakeboarding and have made me a more well-rounded person. I have noticed, as well, that with passion comes hard work. My desire to excel in my knowledge of physics and how things work gives me confidence that I will succeed as an engineering major at the University of Florida.</p>

<p>please help? need to get this application finished! thanks!</p>

<p>To be honest, some parts are vague. You did not really say how the experience will affect your college experience. I sense you like Physics but i cannot tell if you are passionate about it. Elaborate more on how the injuries impacted your decisions and led you to major in physics. Some parts could be condensed. Great intro though. Hope this helped! Good Luck.</p>