UF essay comments

<p>TOPIC: please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.</p>

<p>My volunteer work has made a very meaningful impact in my life. I worked as a volunteer by helping to sort food to help stop the poverty in our area. I feel that as a community we need to work together to help others out. It is very important to work together to get things done. Despite the effort it may take by the community to contribute to eliminating poverty it will be successful to all to make our community better. I believe it should be a goal for everyone to help contribute and help those out who are in need and may not be doing as well as you are. Also I participated in raising money for Relay for Life. I worked to encourage others to raise money to help fight cancer. All the money raised in the event is donated to the American Cancer Society to help find a cure and for others who are facing cancer. </p>

<p>I feel it is our service and responsibility to be assisting those in need. You should not be a selfish person to those who were raised in a bad environment and may not have the luxuries that you have. I feel that as a citizen you need to be respectful and helpful to others. Think about how your life would change with having to assist others. You would not be as arrogant and selfish about your money and be more generous to others. You would help in donating to help people who are in need and to help those who are working to fight devastating diseases like cancer.</p>

<p>Working together will make our campus better, and safer. A sense of cooperativeness on the UF campus will assist in people not doing everything for themselves but, by assisting others. I believe this will also help make the students of UF feel more closely connected with other students and the campus in general. The experience of my volunteer work has really helped me understand what others have to go through that is why we need to help other students who may be struggling with school work or with other things to help them feel a sense of protection around them. I have also seen how hard it is to fight cancer and the devastating effects that come across the families and friends of those who get cancer. Cancer is one of the largest causes of death so I believe it would be efficient to start a donation to send to the American Cancer Society to help find a cure and to help others fight cancer.</p>

<p>Good luck getting in anywhere with that essay… show don’t tell, and try to have it have some fluidity. i am glad that I will get into UF over you</p>

<p>You need to have some revise this… for real </p>

<p>no offense but sounds like my 4th grade brother wrote it </p>

<p>UF is the most competitive school in florida (could argue miami)
so you really want your essay to stand out</p>