Undecivie Daughter

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Do I want to go to engineering school? (Not "Do I want to be an engineer?") Recognizing that this shuts off a lot of other options, and may make it difficult to choose medicine.

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I don't agree with this at all. I know several surgeons who have a BS in engineering. It's also common to pick up a law degree as an engineer. It's much tougher to do the reverse: start out in a pre-med program & then decide to switch to engineering. That's why starting with the engineering program makes more sense.</p>

<p>I also think it's quite possible to be in the position of the OP's D. Plenty of kids have very diverse interests & strengths. They have been exposed to many, many situations and experiences, so they can easily see themselves at big or small, rural or urban, etc. I know my own D has a very broad comfort zone, so I imagine her college list will be all over the map, too.</p>

<p>In some ways I agree with JHS. I think she should be able to narrow it down with some criteria. They can't all be equal. I think where she gets bogged down are the tradeoffs. She can't separate them into discrete points. I certainly agree with you that they are not equal at each school, but I'm not the one to be convinced. </p>

<p>For example: She likes small, but at the same time realizes that each individual usually finds their "small niche" anyway. No one interracts with the entire student body no matter how large or small. Being a member of a team creates a natural smaller group to belong to, no matter her choice. So small is a matter of perspectice, not necessarily numbers.</p>

<p>Canada is foreign to her, but that holds intrigue. USA is familiar and has comfort. Not such an easy tradeoff. No right or wrong. Different for sure - like one more than the other? Not so easy to tell. Same as near to home and far from home. What's better? Neither. Just different in her eyes.</p>

<p>The choices are full of options and the fact that she is one of those kids without a clear vision of where she wants it to go makes it tough to eliminate those options. For those who have that vision, its easier. </p>

<p>I'm sure she'll find her way and no matter will have a great education. I'm just very curious how others have dealt with this issue. I'm sure she's not unique as some of you have pointed out.</p>

<p>Calmom - the coach at one school will offer her spot to another player if she doesn't commit by mid-March. I can understand that. The coach needs to move on if necessary.</p>

<p>Mountandog,
How receptive is your D to your input?
Many moons ago, when our # 1 had some choices, her dad and I were adamant about not making the choice for her.
But that said, I was able to say 'This is why I think this place would work for you. And I also said, these are the things I wonder/worry about if you go here'.
I did this for the available options. It was the jumpstart she needed to look at the pros and cons of each place.</p>

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Canada is foreign to her, but that holds intrigue.

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</p>

<p>aha... the plot thickens... I figured you guys for canucks, what with the McGill, the Toronto, the Queens! </p>

<p>If you're in Michigan, or Wisconsin, or Minnesota or Indiana even, send her to "University of" while she sorts herself out and you buy a (second-hand) Bentley with the savings. Then come take me for a ride :) </p>

<p>Seriously, I need a real incentive to choose a private over a top-flight public. Like, if it's Princeton, or if my specialized field just isn't well-represented at my public, or if someone offers me a ride in a Bentley. But I digress.</p>

<p>Is there just one school with a March decision date? If so, then relax! Let her have until May 1 to make a choice. Maybe there are just too many choices. It might help to consider two at a time. So think about just Michigan and Toronto. Of these two, which does she prefer. Let's say she picks Michigan. Next day, think about Michigan and McGill. Now which one -- and so on until she's narrowed the list. It isn't easy. My son was accepted to something like 13 schools -- and he didn't decide until late April.</p>

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But how does one value small classes vs. large? How does one value Toronto or Montreal vs. a small school in Maine? Those are tough to sort out, especially when you've only visited and not lived there for a year or two. They all have their plusses and minuses and those criteria are purely subjective. In some ways very touchy feely. The only thing I can really figure is $$ is not subjective

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In the abstract I agree with this ... but when thinking about my 3 kids a lot of these issues are not abstract at all. My kids will pick there their schools ... but if they ask me.</p>

<p>My oldest will thrive best at a school where the majority of kids are academically highly motivated and with small classes and involved professors and she could care less about sports on campus ... she also will want no part of a place where the Greek life and partying is the focus of the social life ... and probably would be fine in either a college town, a suburb, or a big city. (If she does not apply to Swarthmore I will never post on CC again). These specific traits about her make some schools seem to be better fits for her ... would she do fine anywhere; probably ... are some choices better choices for her; I believe absolutely.</p>

<h1>2 absulutely needs sports to be a big part of college life ... he needs to decide if he wants to play or watch though. In addition, for him being with a challenging peer group will help push him towards his potential ... etc. Again, he probably will do fine anywhere but certain types of schools will make for a better college experience.</h1>

<p>Two kids ... two very different people ... and very different attributes make for the best fit for them. I think it most kids will do fine in lots of situations; I also think most the vast majority of kids there are many attributes to a college environment that are a better fit for them ... and that these can be determined fairly well. And I don't think sitting and talkign about them will work for most kids ... visiting schools and experiencing big/small, urban/college town, LAC/university ... is the way to go and as others have mentioned I have a lot of faith in trusting one's gut. </p>

<p>(Full disclosure, when I picked schools I upset my family by not going to hte highest rated school to which I was accepted and instead going to the one that felt right ... and for the last 30 years I've been 100% sure I made the better choice for me)</p>