Unhappy at Berkeley?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Berkeley
1

<p>Out of curiosity, how many freshmen (or non-frosh) are not entirely satisfied with their Berkeley experience thus far? I'm a pretty realistic person and don't expect things necessarily to be perfect, but I feel like college has been a letdown and disappointment. Berkeley is just far too big, social connections are lacking. Whenever I talk to my friends at other colleges, they tell me about their life and it just seems so much more stimulating, exciting, interesting. They're having the time of their lives, while I occasinally vaguely wish I were in high school again</p>

<p>Just wanted to know if anyone else felt the same way</p>

2

<p>132 people.</p>

<p>Yes, some people are unhappy here and feel your feelings. I feel that I would probably feel about the way I do now wherever I would have attended, and this school offers things others just don't (Rhteoric, for instance). I haven't heard my friends at other schools telling me the're having the time of their lives. It's possible that they are, or they could be trying to convince themselves that they are, or lie to you. Perhaps they are jealous of what your life is like, if they got to experience it for a day or two. Social connections are lacking? Well, join a club that does an activity that you like, and you will have a more stable social network.</p>

<p>If you're anything years away from a graduating senior, do you think it's fair for you to say college has been a letdown and dissapointment? Perhaps this will change, perhaps not, but it's really early in the game to judge. </p>

<p>Some people end up at a college where they don't like it, or probably shouldn't have gone. It's possible that you are in this situation. Perhaps trasnferring, or going to a community college and trasnferring after two years will be the best bet for you. This is extreme, but the best case for some people.</p>

<p>Berkeley has its problems. but also many things that few other schools have, and some that no other schools have. You will find strong faculty in any department here, as well as the surrounding area, which rocks. It really isn't as hard as people make it sound to talk to professors, and being in a large class doesn't really feel like that big a deal (to me, anyway). If it continues to make you unhappy, you should consider your options. I am not perfectly happy here. On the contrary, at times it's excruciatingly lonely. But at the same time, I realize that I would probably feel this way most anywhere, and here there are things that are nowhere else.</p>

3

<p>Well, I'm in tons of clubs (totally overbooked) & I'm doing all those things you're supposed to do to meet people. The problem isn't that there's no one to hang out with -- I never have to eat dinner alone or whatever -- but I just don't feel like I click with anyone. And weekends are either getting inebriated or studying at home, maybe going to (wow crazy!) watch a movie. Where's the in between?</p>

4

<p>Eating alone is fine, for the record. </p>

<p>I know what you mean about the clicking. Basically, circumstances just have to work out. You have to meet some person with some quality at some time and things just have to click. You could try rushing this, but it either happens or doesn't. It's random chance, and happens very rarely in life. Just continue doing what you're doing and try to let the clicking happen.</p>

5

<p>I like Berkeley overall. I just think dorm is a little overrated. I'm living in Bowles right now, and I think it's a little too rowdy for me, maybe because I'm just not a very social person. In fact, I'm thinking about moving into an apartment for the spring semester if I can't transfer to any other residence hall. To me, the "freshman dorm experience" is one of the biggest letdowns.</p>

<p>And yes, I eat alone most of the time. My day is spent sleeping, in class, eating, studying, and flat out wasting time surfing the internet. I haven't been hanging out with people a lot. Also a major letdown. </p>

<p>I have to say that this isn't the best time of my life. But I still like it more than high school. </p>

<p>I think it's because I'm taking 3 tech classes and I'm only in 1 club.</p>

6

<p>i think you are all very sad kids</p>

<p>im a freshman too and i couldn't be happier with the impersonal atmosphere</p>

<p>i have people that i talk to but its obviously not the same as high school where you've known the same people for years and know everything about them. thats never really gonna happen again until you get married. so i guess what im trying to say is, welcome to the adult world. im sure you've heard of it on MTV. "real world" ring a bell?</p>

7

<p>Finemeal, don't you think you're being a little harsh? The fact is, many people just don't thrive in large impersonal atmospheres. That doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with them, or that they can't handle the "real world" or the "adult world", it just means that they prefer a more intimate kind of education.</p>

<p>Let me give you an example. I remember listening to one Berkeley graduate who was raving about how intimate and personal her experience at Berkeley was, and how she was always able to get small classes and have tight relationships with all her fellow students, and how all her profs knew her by first name. She also talked about how she could have gone to programs of much larger populations, but she preferred the large hand-holding and personal attention that Berkeley provided and how she really benefitted from the small size of the program where she didn't feel like a number, and how the administration would always bend over backwards to help her and her other classmates out.</p>

<p>I distinctly remember myself and other people listening to her wondering what the heck was she talking about. Berkeley providing all this intimate and personal attention? Berkeley being a small program that doesn't make you feel like a number? The administration bending over backwards to help students out? What the heck was she talking about?This isn't anywhere even close to being the Berkeley that I remember. What was I missing?</p>

<p>Only later did I realize that she wasn't talking about the undergrad program at Berkeley. She was never a Berkeley undergrad. When she was talking about Berkeley, she was actually talking about her MBA program at the Haas School. </p>

<p>Then it all made sense. In terms of population, the Haas MBA program is one of the smallest of all the elite MBA programs, and it prides itself on personal attention and strong camaraderie among the students and the faculty. Look up the numbers and you will see that the Haas MBA program is often times literally half or even 1/4 the size of competing programs. The Haas administration takes pains to shield the MBA students from the regular Berkeley bureaucracy. And one of the great attractions of the program is its intimate educational environment. And people really do often times prefer it over much larger MBA programs precisely because of its intimate size and atmosphere.</p>

<p>But think about what that means. Does that mean that people who prefer the Berkeley MBA environment over a larger MBA school are somehow unready for the real world? Is anybody prepared to say that the Haas School is stupid in offering such a small intimate education because that education does not prepare its students for later in life? In other words, if the Berkeley undergrad program should not offer an intimate educational environment, then why is it OK for the Haas MBA program to do so? </p>

<p>Look, the truth is that Berkeley offers different kinds of programs to different students. The undergrad program is quite large and impersonal. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm just saying that's how it is. On the other hand, many of the Berkeley graduate programs are extremely small and personal. You can't categorically state that all small programs are bad, unless you want to concede that many of the Berkeley grad programs are bad. Some people thrive in large impersonal atmospheres. Others do better in smaller environments. There's nothing wrong with that, that's just who you are. People who want a small environment should probably not come to Berkeley for undergrad, but should definitely consider Berkeley for various grad programs like the MBA program.</p>

8

<p>I'd say keep your chin up and don't almost give up like I did. I hated Berkeley (I really will not go into details because I always feel depressed afterwards) so much my first year, I thought going to play in the sand in Iraq for four years with the army would have been preferable to doing another long, lonely, misery filled year at Berkeley. Of course, this was compounded by unsympathetic parents who thought I wasn't appreciating what I had and told me that they wouldn't pay for any college other than Berkeley if I decided to transfer or drop out and go to CC. (I thought the Army or loans were gonna be my only options until I decided to sack up and go back to Berkeley, the week before classes started.) </p>

<p>I digress though, just keep your chin up. Berkeley is hard, the students are often cold and even more often, ignorant, and border-line sociopathic (total disregard for feelings) sometimes. You just have to harden yourself and work at it. </p>

<p>And my advice: Don't listen to anyone that tells you to go to the Tang Center because you are "depressed." This seems an frequent response when people don't like Cal or don't mess well right away, is because it's not Berkeley, it's you, who are depressed and wrong.</p>

9

<p>I almost forgot the mention...</p>

<p>I did almost transfer to either USC or UCSB after my second year, but I had joined a fraternity. (this is what saved me, ironically.) Perhaps you should look into Greek Life? It's a great way to meet people and even if you don't join a house, you'll make a few friends. </p>

<p>Before I joined, I was a beaten man. I had no more passion, I was simply going through the motions, hopped up on Effexor to keep me going, and totally apathetic as to whether I finished college or not. A really bleak road now that I look back at it. </p>

<p>And also consider learning a language and going abroad. EAP has some great options, even if you don't speak a foreign language. Some you can even apply for and go in the Spring if you wanted to. A semester or a year away can really change your life outlook or help you reevaluate your goals.</p>

10

<p>No sakky, I don't think I'm being harsh at all. </p>

<p>Anybody that thinks that the Berkeley undergrad program is nothing but an unapprochable, uncaring bureaucracy needs some serious life skills. I, for one, already had major problems with the financial aid office (they were about to cancel my registration) and guess what I did the second they let me know what was going on? I checked their website (all of Berkeley's unapproachable, uncaring bureaucratic departments have a nice little fact-filled websites) to see when the office opened. The next morning I got there over 30 minutes before the Sproul itself opened to insure that I was the first in line. Naturally, I was the first one to be served. After about an hour and a half of filling out a paperwork and learning how to avoid registration blocks in the future, I left the office and saw a 30+ unmoving line of very unhappy looking students. Now my question is, why didn't they get out of bed early enough? Were they out ****ing up their minds and bodies till 4am? If they were, that's their problem, NOT Berkeley's. </p>

<p>In the same way, all I can say to undergraduate students who claim that giant class automatically mean limited engagement and experience is STOP BEING LAZY. All the professors and office hours have something call OFFICE HOURS. During these OFFICE HOURS, any student can go in and talk to them about whatever they want. I've been to all of MY professors' OFFICE HOURS and sometimes even professors that I don't have but I will have next semester (or just want to meet.) The profs are real people who love to get to know the students. They are very diverse and range from world famous novelist Maxine Hong Kingston to Nobel Prize winning physicist Steven Chu. I've met BOTH; yet, out of all the times that I've visited professors I've only seen TWO other students take the initiative. Also, after class the professors usually hang around for like five minutes so it's possible to ask them about anything you didn't understand right there. After this they typically go back to their offices, and you can certainly walk back with them. Also, they ALL provide long, personalized, caring, informative responses to emails. Moreover, there are usually at least a DOZEN on-campus well-advertised events each week starting at about 6pm which faculty regularly attend. I'm taking four classes and I've seen and talked to all four professors at at least one event each week. </p>

<p>To end my rant, I just want to say that if any current Cal students were hoping to get something out of college that wasn't the best academic library on the west coast, a faculty that is second to none, a price tag that is accessible to ALL, and city that boasts every single aspect of human society, then perhaps they should transfer their crybaby selves to a liberal arts college in the middle of nowhere.</p>

11

<p>Finemeal, I think you're talking to yourself. No one here has mentioned any problems with big classes.</p>

<p>I feel your pain. I've been through it, too. I've got basically no one here. I mean, I have friends, but I rarely see them because we all live on opposite sides of the campus. And I haven't really clicked with anyone on my floor although there are maybe 2 people that I could get chummy with. My floor is 90% chicks, and that's a bad thing, because these girls act like high school Freshman. It's substance free housing so, you know, these are not your typical college peeps. I'm a pretty personable guy if you get to know me, I have no problems with chatting with people, but it hasn't worked out. Things will get better, though. I'm not technically in any clubs, though I did do some "work" for one club and got to know quite a few people who want me to join full-time. And I figure...I've got 3 and half years here, so if I can't fit in by then, it's entirely my fault. I'm still eating alone, but the only way you could do otherwise is to either call up people you know, or go with people on your floor. I'm not one to call people up just to so I have someone to sit with while I chomp down a sandwich, and my floor....no.</p>

12

<p>can you not read? </p>

<p>sakky was the one who started talking about "intimate" experiences in reference to academics as a response to my initial post.</p>

13

<p>
[quote]
then perhaps they should transfer their crybaby selves to a liberal arts college in the middle of nowhere

[/quote]
</p>

<p>See there it is again. It's precisely that kind of attitude that I have to object to. Look, I know plenty of people who go to small LAC's. It's not because they're crybabies. It's because they do better in small environments, nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing wrong with that. You act like everybody going to a LAC has some sort of defect.</p>

<p>Now look, I agree with you that there is laziness and irresponsibility with many of the Berkeley undergrads. In fact I myself have pointed it out many times. However, it is still a two-way street. Yes, some of the students need to take more initiative. On the other hand, the Berkeley administration could do more to reduce some of the impersonality of the school. Look at how personal and intimate many of the Berkeley graduate programs are. I don't think the Berkeley undergrad program could be run as well, but I'm sure there are some things that could be done in that respect.</p>

14

<p>Andrewtx, I think that talking to someone at the Tang center is a perfectly reasonable suggestion for someone who doesn’t like Berkeley, but the person should do other things, as well.</p>

<p>Finemeal, you are ridiculous. Yes, Berkeley has many fact filled websites with any information you could ever want on them, but it’s often hard to find exactly what you need, and there are many websites. I agree, the bureaucracy (as far as I’ve seen it so far) is over mentioned, but there is definitely some difficulty in navigating the system. The 1.5 hours of paperwork is part of it, not just the line. Like sakky said, it is a two way street, but please stop thinking of yourself as some system-concurring hero. Perhaps everyone here isn’t as brave, smart, and strong-willed as you are.</p>

15

<p>Did you visit the campus? (Not counting Cal Day...that event skews your perception)</p>

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<p>Drab: Tang is a reasonable suggestion -- however, my experience is they always try to diagnose you with depression.</p>

17

<p>Finemeal, get over yourself.</p>

18

<p>aim78, its ok, you don't have to live up to your mistakes. (I'm guessing you want Berkeley to do it for you, huh?)</p>

<p>DRab, if you use Google on Berkeley's webpage with even keyword you'll find that it is very easy to find whatever it is you are looking for. </p>

<p>Other than that, I stand by what I said. There is NOTHING that can be done or should be done (assuming Cal remains a public university) because ALL PUBLIC UNIVERSITIES WITH UNDERGRADUATE HAVE EQUALLY "IMPERSONAL" BUREAUCRACIES BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTENSIONS OF A GOVERNMENT WHICH CATERS TO HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS. YOU EITHER LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT, OR LEAD A VERY, VERY UNHAPPY LIFE.</p>

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<p>oh, wow, as so often happens, a cc post eventually goes in a totally direction than the op menat it to. </p>

<p>I'm not depressed, I don't need to go to the Tang Center (not that there's anything wrong with that.) I'm not a crybaby and I am independent and responsible. My feelings are mostly that of aim87. I want close friends rather than acquantainces. Other times, I think maybe I am just being a snob, like when I got annoyed one evening when I was hanging out with two people who said, "who's that?" when I mentioned John Edwards. </p>

<p>"Live with it" is easy to say, but not so easy to execute. Admittedly, I am a private school product, so the hugeness of Berkeley is a major change for me.</p>

20

<p>Yes, Cal has a lot of not-so-very-smart people. But that does really make a difference when you consider that when Edwards visits next Tuesday night, Pauley Ballroom will be flooded?</p>