university of maryland essay help?

Applying to College
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<p>So i wasn't really sure how to tackle the what is your something essay question for Maryland. This was my attempt and i'd love to hear some advice or something just so i have a better idea. </p>

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<li>According to Henry David Thoreau, “One is not born into the world to do everything, but to do something.” What is your something?
I look at myself and try to think, “What was I meant to do in this world?” The answer though is far from obvious and requires me to really look into who I am. I’ve always strived to reach higher levels of excellence, even though I have my deficiencies; I know I can overcome them. Practically I know I need the help of others. I can always trust myself to make the right choices and to know how to solve a problem but the help of others, especially of others who are more experienced in the subject matter, is always welcomed. To be honest though, I believe in myself, and I trust in my abilities to become confident in any subject matter and to be confident in the decisions and approaches I take. A phrase I have always believed in is, “If you can think it, you can make it happen.” Lastly, I’ve always seen myself as competitive. From an early age I hated to lose. In fact, what hurt the most was to barely have lost, I would have rather been blown out of the water than know that if I had tried just a bit harder I could have secured victory. That pushed me to always want to outdo my classmates as far as grades, as far as understanding, and as far as athletics, even if I wasn’t good at a sport I did not want to appear that way.
So then, what is my something? I believe I’m suited to be in an environment that challenges me to succeed; I need to rise to the occasion and be a leader for those I work with. Be it in business, law, or medicine I believe I will find my something at the University of Maryland.</li>
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<p>A few pieces of general essay writing advice:</p>

<p>1) You want to write an essay that couldn’t have been written by anyone else - that means it has to be deeply personal and reflect your unique perspective.</p>

<p>2) Specific, concrete details and vivid examples distinguish okay essays from powerful and memorable essays.</p>

<p>3) They are asking you, directly, to articulate what your special ‘give’ is to the world - what unique perspective, or mission, or goal do you have that gives you focus and direction. You don’t answer the question.</p>

<p>4) Bonus points if you can be creative and have some fun with this - rather than too earnest. You want to be memorable, in a good way.</p>

<p>I think you might want to spend some more time thinking about what exactly you have to offer UMD (other than drive to succeed). What unique qualities do you have? What would your friends say about you? What experiences have you had that make you different? What are you really good at and how to you harness that talent and for what purpose? What would you like your obituary to say some day - be specific and concrete.</p>

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<p>thanks so much that all sounds great</p>