unmotivated student, controlling mom

<p>Well if there is a change, I would suggest do it for next year if not before. You want to have his Jr. year teachers for recommendations!</p>

<p>Get some info about local schools with regard to classes offered, block scheduling, innovative 'academies' within larger schools. See if any of it interests him enough to spend a day there. </p>

<p>I wouldn't worry about the schools' average SAT scores. He will score in his approximate range regardless of his peers. Anyway,you can have some control over that with prep work in or out of school. It is more important, in my opinion, to get him engaged in his own learning.</p>

<p>some kids do Community College classes in lieu of HS classes. Is that a possibility?</p>

<p>I will check out what's available at local colleges - thanks!</p>

<p>I know my kids would NOT like a school smaller than the one they're currently attending, where there are 200+ kids/grade in HS. It could get a bit stifling to be in the same school for 12 years. Johns Hopkins Talent Search has some on-line courses, as do a lot of universities.</p>

<p>It does sound like the teachers are at least trying & I hope he will try too. I know that I was pretty bored in HS sometimes--actually made Christmas gifts in an English class one semester (took the only class that fit into my schedule & we were given an hour to read a one-page poem every period). The teacher originally promised me I could do independent research & then reneged, so I was a very passive-aggressive student.</p>

<p>Independent research might be a good option. Also, does his school have the option of going to community college, part time? That might be another lure--or the promise of taking a college course over the summer (my son took a statistics course the summer after his 10th grade--said it was the easiest class he had taken in years).</p>

<p>My son is smart, gifted and articulate. Never studied for the SAT, went out with friends the night before and ended up with a 1270. Throughout HS and JHS I had to be on top of him. I had more talks with teachers who told me that he was brilliant, smart and could easily do the work, if he wanted. He never wanted to. He never got into trouble and was always known as a GREAT kid. My goal was get him to finish High School. When he was 17 and junior in HS he decided he wanted to join the Army National Guard. We were totally against it (protested the Vietnam war, come from long line of Hippies). However, we did lots of research and asked LOTS of questions not only of the recruiter but of Vets and current soldiers. What we heard was how much people appreciated their experiences, how they grew and how they knew they were capable and could do anything.</p>

<p>He joined. Between junior and senior year he went to Basic. He came back more confident and more aware. Still no great academic results. However this summer he went to Advanced Training. He went after graduating from High School and resigning myself to the fact that he probably won't go to college. </p>

<p>What a transformation. He made straight A's was made honor cadet. He called to say he decided to go to college on a ROTC scholarship that he decided to become an officer. He is very confident, knows that he is smart (a big change) and sees that he would be a very effective officer. He hopes to fly helicopters. </p>

<p>He came home four days ago. He went into his room and organized his desk drawers. Did his laundry. And is extremely happy. He is 19 years old and I can honestly say became a man. I am shocked and truly so proud of him. </p>

<p>I see that when it was the right time and with the right experience he would be what we knew he was..a leader, smart and strong.</p>

<p>A beautiful story, lupita. Thank you for this post.</p>

<p>Hurrah! It sounds like things are coming together very nicely for your son & family. The military is lucky to have your son & I'm sure he will do great things!</p>

<p>The reason why your son might seem really unmotivated could be because he feels like there’s no point in trying because hes afraid you will disprove of his choices. And hes just doing well with his schoolwork because he is afraid of you. Just a possibility.</p>

<p>I have a really controlling mom too and I’ve found the above to be true for me. I’m in college doing the major she wanted to do and shes always and has always been hovering about my schoolwork and now even social life, my schedule and just about everything. </p>

<p>But shes always been pretty controlling and I remember when I was younger there was a period of time when I really did feel unmotivated because I was afraid of what she would do if I failed or didn’t meet her standards. She also is the type of person who always thinks they’re right and you’re wrong no matter what. But after a while I realized that I should accomplish things not because I was afraid of what she would do if I failed to meet her expectations but I should accomplish things for the benefit of me and that I should live my life the way I want instead of how she wants.</p>

<p>Just remember one thing though. Letting your children make mistakes is quite important because you cant protect them from everything. Studies actually show that children learn from 30% of what people say but from 90% of what they do, thus meaning mistakes are key.</p>

<p>This thread is seven years old…from 2005!!!</p>

<p>Time to lock 'er down.</p>

<p>Please use old threads for information only. If you think this is an important topic, use the New Thread button to start your own thread.</p>