unmotivated student, controlling mom

<p>Thanks momobsessed! Northeastern, if they are just taking meds noone would know but if they are classified with a disability and recieving special accomadations from the school ie more time for tests etc then it would be noted. I will check on the details as that is a good question.</p>

<p>If you can't beat--Join him (??) There are some very well respected schools that have programs in computer game design. It is a big field and just not geared towards video "games". I believe Michigan State--Carnegie Mellon and UC Santa Cruz have programs in game design. I am sure there are many others. If your son sees that you are truly working as a partner with him and taking his best interest to heart, he may be more responsive to your suggestions and advice. Good luck.</p>

<p>Don't worry about being a controlling mom Chammon--I am now going to beat you out. I just suggested checking out Michigan State as it has a computer game design program -- I also just checked to see if the school has Learning Communities. (I used Emeraldkity's link on top of p.5 of this thread ) Well lo and behold, MSU has the "Lyman Briggs School of Science" Learning Community which they describe as -- 1500 student enrollment with a Liberal Arts atmosphere within the MSU campus. So it has the benefits of a large state U too. Within the Lyman Briggs program is computer majors which includes course work in computer design and other "computery things". This type of program may work for you and your son. College communities are so different than when we were students. And sometimes you really do not know what an individual campus has to offer until you really study the specific website. I hope this info was helpful. My basic belief is that with a lot of 17 year old boys, you don't know whether their unfocused behavior is ADD related or they just haven't found the right avenue to challenge their energy. As one of the threads mentioned, her brother snapped out of his behavior once he got a girlfriend. Personally I would not rule out ADD and the possible need for some medication, but I would use that as a last resort. Good luck.</p>

<p>Adad. Good question, but there are always 2 guards on at the same time, and it is a small pool, not the ocean. Interestingly, my son worked at a pool full time full time over the summer and got a good evaluation, as he has on his all his summer jobs since freshman year. He takes more interest and responsibility at work than at school.</p>

<p>marny1:It was so nice of you to provide all the info. Thanks</p>

<p>I turned on the computer tonight and was shocked to see how many people have viewed this thread. Sometimes on CC it seems as if all the kids are perfect, it is helpful to see that other parents have issues as well. Thanks all!</p>

<p>I've got the same issues with S#2. I pointed him at this CNN.com article on RPI's</a> computer game design minor a couple days ago. He was intrigued.</p>

<p>I have a 10th grade son, currently at a great private school, but at interim time has an A in math, but is failing every other subject because he says he is "bored and unchallenged." He got a 1040 on the 7th grade SAT, went to Duke Tip this past summer and loved it. He scored a 186 (SI) on the 9th grade PSAT (90% overall) and tells me that he can't stand to waste another day in his current school and wants to be homeschooled so that he can learn quicker at his own pace. I have tried everything to motivate him and try to get him "excited" about the school he is in (he's been there since Pre-K). I feel very underqualified to home-school him. I'm at wit's end - any suggestions? We have a great high school counsellor and good private counsellor who are also stumped on what else to do.</p>

<p>Why not try homeschooling him? There is plenty of info out there on how to homeschool, and there also are on-line and other homeschooling groups that you could participate in.</p>

<p>My suggestion is to also talk to some homeschooling parents of gifted kids to see how they do it.</p>

<p>Thanks northstarmom - I have been trying to find a group here, but am coming up with nothing on-line locally. I will start making calls. I just talked to my son's high school principal and he thinks I need to read the riot act to my son (I've tried that approach already) and get him to stay there until the end of this year and get his grades up - so that if he "still" wants to make a change then, he will be able to get into a good school of his choice next year. He does not have much respect for homeschooling. I've read many of your responses to other concerns and appreciate your insight. Thanks!</p>

<p>Just a thought... Have you considered offerring to secure better educational resources for your bored son when he demonstrates that he is willing to make use of the resources you've already provided for him. When your son gets A s on all his coursework, and then says he's bored and unchallenged, I'd be more likely to step in.<br>
In other words... I wonder if his assessment of the situation is accurate.</p>

<p>Caldwell39,
I see we posted at the same time. Don't mean to duplicate what you've already tried.</p>

<p>jasmom - that is where we are now, although I'm a bit concerned about him shutting down completely. He can be really stubborn and seems to need a lot of control in his life right now. I've read the "threads" about the value of the "sink or swim" method and that is really hard for me to do - but, it may be the answer now.</p>

<p>Is your son otherwise happy? Does he stay involved recreationally, socially, intellectually? He is blaming his boredom on the teaching/material, but I would wonder if there are other factors.</p>

<p>My son (our family) has had a lot going on the last couple of years. He has pulled back athletically and socially this past year. I have been exploring this with "our" psychologist. He debated whether to go to "boarding" school for a change of pace, then decided he wanted to stay "home." Now, it's "homeschooling." I am at wit's end trying to sort out what he really needs. Any other thoughts?</p>

<p>caldwell:</p>

<p>Take a look at the thread on gifted kids that is featured on the CC homepage. Also read up on resources on hoagiesgifted.org.
It is hard to advocate for more challenging work when a student is seen to not be doing that well in the subjects s/he wants to be challenged in. Can you talk to the teachers/GC about giving your son pretests to see if he already knows the materials or not; if he does, could he be exempted from the easier work and be given harder assignments? Can you son use regular assignments to produce work that goes above and beyond? For example, in English or history, could he write papers that are longer, better researched, better structured and argued that what is expected of the rest of the class? In science, could he be allowed to do a lab project that is harder than the rest of the class?<br>
Accommodation for gifted students can happen in a regular class, but the students need to show that they can handle the more challenging work. It also helps to have a prior record of achievement.<br>
For example, my S was put in Biotech 1, the only level offered that year. We were concerned that he had covered nearly 3/4 of the chemistry, biology and physics for that year-long class. Sure enough, he soon was bored and produced work that was not of the highest quality. The teacher said she had to grade the work she received but was also receptive to my S launching a separate project that was far more demanding that what the rest of the class was given to work on. He devoted himself to that project and produced first-rate work; he also stopped complaining of being bored. The important point, however, was that the teacher knew my S was strong in science (he was in his third AP-science class at the time).
I think a conference with teachers, GC and your son is in order.
Another way of addressing his academic needs might be through extra-curricular academic activities such as math team, science team, academic decathlon and various academic competitions.</p>

<p>I'm glad you're working with a psychologist. At these early/mid adolescent ages, so much is going on as these "kids" figure out who they are, where they're going, with whom they identify. Clearly your son is bright. With my own son, I tried to keep emphasizing ways that he was "boring himself" with the material and to help him look at alternatives. I also think that, had I home schooled him, there may have been no survivors. What is your son interested in? What does he do with his spare time?</p>

<p>Oh, another thing... I would challenge him to tell me what he would do differently if he were faced with a boring assignment from home vs a boring assignment from school. What about home schooling appeals so much? Perhaps you could agree (if he shows initiative) to supplement what he's learning in school with an on-line course.</p>

<p>marite and jasmom
Thank you both. You have brought up issues/ideas in one day that it has taken me since last spring to get my son's school to consider. When this started last spring - he was told by school and administration that he would just have to learn to play the game. Looking back, I probably should have moved him then, but it is the "best" school in our area. Finally, last week his honors Chemistry teacher proposed eliminating the "busywork" for him and giving him a college level journal article to read and discuss each week. His math professor is being innovative also. My son, however, who saw no end in sight has missed the last 3 days of school, two with migraine headaches, and today, because after staying up researching homeschooling all night, said he just coudn't go today because he is too angry with the "system" and too tired of the same stuff. I "let" him stay home, since I had to get my younger current overacheiver to school and then called both the school counsellor and the asst. headmaster asking for help. They are both receptive, and want to help, I just have to get my son back to school tomorrow. He says he will go, bring up his grades, and just do it until the end of the semester - provided he has options then. I am so anxious about it all right now, that I am not sure that I am being objective anymore. I did find some on-line courses from BYU that I am going to try to entice my son with - any other good on-line supplemental sites I should check into?</p>

<p>Caldwell,
Something you wrote struck a nerve with me. You do not mention how large or small the school is but you do say your son has been there since pre-K. If pre-K is only one year, this is the 12th year in the same place for your son. He is probably quite ready for a change.
My first two did 2-3 years of preschool then K-8 (total 11 and 12 years) in the same private school (class size 30). It was convenient for us to have all kids in the same location. When it was time for high school they each chose a place where none of their classmates were attending. They were more than ready for a fresh start.
We moved the last one to a public middle school for 6,7,8 after 9 years in the private place. It was the best decision we made and regret not offering the older ones the opportunity for a different educational perspective.
I'm not sure if a change would benefit your son but maybe he is feeling a bit stagnant in his current situation.</p>

<p>I think you may be right - he did say once that he just needed to get away from the drama of his current school. He has been there for 12 years. He doesn't seem to know what he wants other than something different - I've asked him if he wants to change schools, he says he just can't imagine where else he would go. He doesn't think the other schools in our area are any better than this one - SAT score-wise, he is right. However, if he doesn't do something about his grades, the choice will be made for him.</p>

<p>About class size - lower school has @50/class, upper school is @80.</p>