<p>I'm starting to doubt whether I should be a music major at all. i'm starting college as a performance major this fall, and even though I have been "slightly" better with practicing, it scares me because I still miss days here and there and i definitely don't practice 5-6 hours a day like other people. It might be my playing-related injuries (trying to fix) contributing but I'm really confused because I love music so much and can't imagine myself doing anything else, and I've gotten lots of feedback that i could succeed in it. But the fear of not succeeding, or finding out I'm just not that good and being jobless is making me too scared to even practice as much as I should be practicing.
I'm scared that im not motivated enough for music, but I feel like I'm equally unproductive in all areas in my life and maybe i would be really productive in music if I could just get around the general unproductivity.
should i be thinking about changing my major?</p>
<p>I think, totally my opinion, that you should give yourself a chance at being AT SCHOOL and experiencing what being in school studying music is about before your throw in the towel. It could be that being around people that practice and “live and breathe” music will motivate you to do the same. Good luck.</p>
<p>Are you a little bit burned out? After all, it has probably been a busy winter/spring with auditions and performances. Maybe just take a week or two off? I know it sounds crazy but my S’s piano teacher always urges him to find a week to leave it alone in the summer.</p>
<p>Also, try to not worry about your “musical future” just yet. Concentrate on having some fun and exploring music at school this fall as Bandie Mom suggests.</p>
<p>Good suggestions so far but given the nebulous nature of your post there may also be other factors at work. “Unmotivated”, “unproductive” mean different things (and to different people) and the fact that you’ve been admitted as a performance major suggests both a level of talent and dedication. Perhaps you are just being overly self-critical.</p>
<p>Transition from high school to college, from being a “kid” to adult status, is often an angst-filled time. Much of what you describe can be attributed to many at this juncture. You’re not alone in this. Doubt, reflection, and “second guessing” is normal.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if you have a “history” of procrastination, lack of concentration, missing deadlines, I would ask have you ever been evaluated for one of the attention disorders? I’m not a fan or a believer in attributing all underachievement and lack of direction to this type of cause, but I mention the possibility in passing only.</p>
<p>You don’t specify any instrument, or training/experience/participatory musical background, and without that, it limits the ability to relate your current description to what you may have done and felt in the past. High level private instruction, quality ensemble participation, and summer intensives can go a long way in exposing/confronting these demons and helping to make sense of deciding on a performance path as an undergrad pursuit.</p>
<p>The most recent similar practice thread, with addition links within:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/893800-practice-consistency-suggestions.html?highlight=practice[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/893800-practice-consistency-suggestions.html?highlight=practice</a></p>
<p>And a food for thought thread:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/495033-pushing-too-hard-burnout.html?highlight=burnout[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/495033-pushing-too-hard-burnout.html?highlight=burnout</a></p>
<p>“it scares me because I still miss days here and there and i definitely don’t practice 5-6 hours a day like other people.”</p>
<p>Perhaps you are too hard on yourself. Everyone misses days here and there (unless you mean 5 missed days this week, 4 missed last week, and 6 the week before!). In fact, some teachers recommend a day off per week. </p>
<p>As well, the “other people” that practice 5-6 hours a day are relatively rare except among pianists, violinists, and cellists at the top schools (and even there many top out at 4 hours a day). The law of diminishing returns operates with practicing: i.e. your brain becomes less able to absorb what you want it to learn after two to four hours. You can make great progress in two to four hours if your time is “quality time” (all practice is thoughtful, purposeful, and optimally engages your brain).</p>
<p>Once at music school, you will have some enforced time on your instrument (several hours of orchestra/band/choir per week, plus a few more weekly hours in chamber music) that you need to count towards your time on your instrument.</p>
<p>Most of the performance majors that I know, take at least two weeks off during the summer. Given playing-related injuries, I would definitely suggest some rest is not a bad thing. Perhaps your lack of motivation to practice is just your body or mind saying, “I need a break.”</p>
<p>It’s the phrase “playing related injuries” that concerns me. Please be very aware of what your body is telling you and make sure to discuss any pain with your teacher (and medical professionals if necessary).</p>
<p>Remember, no one expects an entering first year student to be perfect. They heard something in your performance at your audition that they liked well enough to invite you into the program; try to reconnect with that joy in music making that brought you to this point in the first place.</p>
<p>One of my kids is a dancer, whose training is similar in some respects to that of a musician: the need to start young, the many hours, many days a week, the need for discipline, the technical demands, the inability to stop for any length of time, and the demands of talent, which lead to expectations from others that can be burdensome.</p>
<p>And yet, both dance and music bring so much joy.</p>
<p>During this transition time, at 18, our daughter is taking real time off, for the first time. Meaning months. She has been going along on the momentum that started when she was really young, and coasting on the ideas of others (teachers) about what she wants to do.</p>
<p>This way, she feels that if she resumes, it will be on her terms.</p>
<p>Now, resuming on her terms will look exactly the same on the outside: lots of classes and hard work. But so many in her dance community have pushed her ahead because of her talent, and she is searching for a better way to work on her own steam, maybe in some new directions that make her feel more like she is doing her own work.</p>
<p>I am not saying that this is relevant to you, or suggesting that you stop, not at all. I am just saying that at your age, there are so many transitions going on, and one transition involves going from “what you are supposed to do” (by adults) to what you yourself think you would like or should do. It can feel like burnout, in some ways, I think, until you find your new footing (or fingering, as it were).</p>
<p>Also, a lot of students go through a period of losing motivation before going to college or conservatory. All that work to “get in,” and now you are in! I also think that we all sort of pull back before we shoot forward, sort of like a rubber band.</p>
<p>I would echo what others have said: take a couple of weeks off (particularly if you have had injuries), and go easy on the self-criticism. For now, practice enough, according to your own judgment, but don’t worry about what other people are doing. The fall will bring opportunities to play more, and, hopefully, starting a new program will bring back the excitement and motivation.</p>
<p>You still sound happy to be going, and not at all disenchanted with your path, so good luck and enjoy!</p>
<p>Id say take a few weeks off (im doing that right now due to tendonitis) and work on other things. Maybe pick up a new instrument, or just work on solfege or transcription (something you should get into before college regardless of musical discipline, do it on your terms and make it fun).
Then maybe work on a style or tradition your not used to, if you play classical try jazz or vice versa, or maybe pick up a CD of folk music and pick up some melodies off of that. Try getting your head out of things until school starts, when you’ll need all the focus and technique you can possibly get. Give yourself a year and then, if you think music is not for you change your major, but don’t write yourself off just yet.</p>
<p>A couple of thoughts for you, based on the limited details in the post:</p>
<p>1)If you are getting injuries from playing, I would heartily suggest looking into things to help figure out why this is happening. From what I am led to believe, a lot of the injuries musicians get are due to bad setup. Most music programs seem to offer seminars on preventing injury, and I would encourage going to these if available. </p>
<p>2)You don’t say whether your inability to focus is long term or recent. If it is long term, if you have had trouble motivating yourself to practice, it could be because you haven’t had the right kind of environment. One of the things I have seen is that like with gifted kids academically, that talent musical kids who aren’t pushed seem to fall into the kind of rut you are describing (and again, without knowing more details, this might not fit your experience). For example, if a student has a teacher who kind of pushes them along, doesn’t demand the kind of discipline that it takes to achieve high levels of technique, a student can get into a place where they kind of chug along (has nothing to do with passion for music itself). I have seen this, where a kid is talented enough and the teacher is undemanding enough that they get by, and quite honestly,the student can get bored, much as the kid who goes through ensembles that don’t challenge him/her, like playing in a typical school program, can get bored and restless. Obviously, this may not apply in your case, but wanted to throw it out there. </p>
<p>If so, then going to a music school, where presumably the kids are all motivated and passionate, can help change that, as can breaking out of the rut of being in High School. I have heard of this happening and seen it in some cases personally, so it isn’t just hypothetical.</p>
<p>3)And yes, this can also be based in being overwhelmed. If up until this point you have been able to focus, practice regularly, etc, then it could be being overwhelmed with what lies ahead. On top of the typical thing, of going away from home, getting into a college setting from being in high school, you also are looking ahead and thinking about the future, one that as a musician is difficult. Not exactly hard to understand, but this is also something I think everyone faces, musician or not, unless they happen to come from a well off family and don’t have to worry about things, like supporting themselves…and the reaction you talk about happens with everything in life, not just music.It is a fact of life that people get overwhelmed, face things that are tough, and they get overwhelmed. One of the hardest things around is when someone decides to have their own business, it is one that is difficult (most new businesses end up folding within 5 years), one that in the short term is economically tough to manage, and so forth, yet people with that passion continue to do it, so it is doable:).</p>
<p>One of the keys to making it in music was something you yourself just said. Besides the obvious factor, of having enough talent, one of the keys to making it in music is if you wake up in the morning, and look at the day and say “wow, I get to make music today, isn’t it the greatest thing in the world”. If you didn’t feel that, could see yourself doing something else, that is a sign to me that you may want to question going into music. Music takes that kind of focus, it takes the drive and discipline, and given the nature of music, how hard it is, how much unfairness is out there, the competition, the fact that it is the only thing you want to do is really, really critical towards getting there. I ran into a man this year flying back from the southwest, and we got to talking. He was an investment banker, working for one of the large firms, and he had gone to Peabody for voice for his masters degree, and he said that he woke up one morning, and when he asked himself that question, after a year of trying to make it as a singer, and he said he could honestly say he could see himself doing other things, and he knew then it was time to quit. </p>
<p>4)which leads to another point that hopefully helps. People go into music all the time and don’t end up there, a large percentage of students from programs like Juilliard end up not going into music, and many of them go on to do other things while having music in their life. If, for some reason, you go through your performance degree then decide not to do music, there are a lot of things you can do out there, it isn’t like music is a dead end that way. There have been a lot of threads about that on here, and I know personally a number of people who moved into other careers after getting degrees from conservatories and music schools, in business, in technology, you name it. I realize these days there is this huge idea out there that somehow if you don’t hit the right path right away you fail, and that simply isn’t true. Everyone finds things that don’t work, they go into jobs that don’t work out, even professions, and change their paths and still do okay.</p>
<p>And want to know something? Your questioning things is quite healthy, and even though at this point it may seem to be paralyzing, I think it is a good thing. It is much better to question things and realize reality then it is to go through a bubble. Both from personal experience, and from talking to musicians out there working, there are a lot of kids who go through music school in this ‘golden bubble’, thinking they are the greatest thing since sliced bread, that when they get out of their ‘great’ program that the world is going to beat a path to their door, and then when they graduate they hit the reality that that isn’t true (and worse, some of these kids have egos that means no one wants to play with them, no matter how good they are). It is better to be grounded in reality then floating in a cloud, lot healthier in my opinion. </p>
<p>Just take it one day at a time, and while focus on long term goals and reality, look at the short term, next weeks lesson, orchestra work, gigs, etc, and let the long term form as it comes:)</p>