Sad about practicing

College Majors Music Major
1

Hi guys,
I’m really torn about my major in college. I was wondering if you have any advice ?

So i’ve been playing piano since i was 5. I took private lessons and participated in national competitions quite several times and in some i won the first place. Ever since highschool, i had decided i wanted to study music in college. I even already had my first recital due to my parents and teacher’s encouragement. It was a moment that i was proud about.

But now i’m in college studying classical piano, i have been having doubts if i chose the right major. All i do now is just cry when i sit in front of the piano to practice. I don’t know if it’s me having stress bcs audition time is coming or i have just completely not enjoying it anymore. It’s stricter than ever before in the lessons. Every note is played by certain rules and i’m afraid that i will be sick of these rules. I don’t want to not be happy while practicing but i can’t help that i’ve been feeling super down and not in the mood in more than a week now. Idk if it’s normal.

Some say to change my major and i don’t know. At times i think i will change it, but some other time i also feel like i’m not sure if it’s the right decision.

Do you have an advice? Thankyou.

2

There will always be one or two teachers who take a subject you love…and turn it into pure misery.

Pretty often, what they’re teaching is something you really should know. But that doesn’t mean their perspective or a new technique will completely undo your enjoyment of something you love forever.

It sounds like piano has always come very easily to you, and for the first time, you’re really challenged. That can be a good thing…even when it’s painfully frustrating.

Give it some time if you can. Make sure to include a little time in your life to play for pleasure…as well as doing your homework and practicing the new techniques.

If you find your anxiety and depression are getting to be more than you can handle…don’t suffer in silence. See your healthcare practitioner and let them know what’s going on.

Even if you decided to change majors…I promise you…the world will not end. Most people change majors a couple times, very few people follow through with ambitions they’ve held since they were small children. It’s ok to change and grow.

3

@MaryGJ has some good advice. It may be that you are being challenged and pushed in new ways or there may be weaknesses in your playing that have fallen through the cracks and that you are not aware of. I think you should get some clarification as to why the changes are being required. Can you schedule some lessons with your former teacher and discuss the situation? Or is there another teacher you could schedule a lesson with for a technical assessment of your playing?

It is also possible that your current teacher is just not a good match for you. Some teachers have very specific ideas of playing ideals and re-make the technique of all new students whether this is really necessary to the student’s progress or not. Again, getting an assessment or discussing your college lessons with a professional may help clarify this.

When you chose your school, did you have a trial lesson with this teacher? How did that go? Are there other piano majors you can discuss this with? They are likely to know the personalities and reputation of your teacher and might have some insights as to what is going on.

Best of luck to you!

4

@MaryGJ it is true, this is the hardest time i’ve had while playing and it had been pretty simple before. I do feel i’m improving with my current teacher. But along the process, i’m afraid that i’ve lost the passion. She can get pretty mad and yells throughout the lessons. I know it’s for me to get better but i’m a bit traumatized by people yelling, it’s something that is unsettling with me ever since i was a kid.



I’ve been talking with my mom about majors, and she did say it’s ok to change. I guess i have to figure out if i really love music or not.



Thankyou so much for your reply! It really open my mind up. xo



@Momofadult you’re right. I’ve been finding many weaknesses on my playing and being pushed. I arranged a one hour lesson with another teacher at my music college. And the teacher is super nice and gentle in instructing and guiding my playing, different with my current teacher who is a bit harsh but i see her point.



I haven’t talk to my previous piano teacher about this lost of passion. Maybe that’s what i need.

I didn’t have trial with the teacher, but i did send my audition in cd.



Thankyouu somuch !!

5

I love the advice about considering another teacher. You might also consider having a conversation with your current teacher and explaining how you value WHAT she is teaching you but that HOW she is teaching it makes you so stressed that you aren’t enjoying it. It is find for you to own a reaction others may not have to her style. What matters is that it isn’t working for you. It is also possible that you are not cut out for playing at this level - it’s a tough road - but you should make sure that you don’t leave for the wrong reasons. I would advise trying to fix what you can before leaving this behind.








6

Is it possible to arrange a transfer to another teacher through your school? An institutional process for transferring due to mis-match is not uncommon, but there may be some restrictions - you may need to be accepted by someone else, your current teacher may need to agree to the transfer, etc.

Sadly, borderline abusive teachers such as you seem to be describing are not unusual. Teaching by intimidation used to be very common when I was coming through the system and prior to me, but I hope it may be dying out. At present, I know there are still lots of screamers, book throwers, shoulder rest throwers, etc. still out there. One of my kids had a well-known teacher that said, “Hate me now, thank me later.” Really? I’m not sure the screaming and disrespect of the student’s humanity sped up the lesson process.

7

Please please consider changing to the gentler teacher, and perhaps one more focused on musicality (and technique).

Some talented musicians choose not to go to conservatory, and some don’t major in music at all, because taking something you love and making it the academic and career focus adds some new dimensions.

I have actually heard from some that taking a brief break from practicing improved things!

I have you seen the film “Talent Has Hunger” about Paul Katz, a cello teacher at NEC? It is online I think. He is a model teacher for you, but doesn’t teach piano unfortunately.

I think you should first try switching teachers and give it a year.

After a year you could switch majors or switch schools, whichever is appropriate- but only if music school is making you truly hate playing in their curriculum. That said, you can continue music anywhere- there are piano teachers of high caliber in cities and near schools all over the place.

It will be alright. I think you are having perceptions that are very valid and the old fashioned teacher who yells about details of technique is not a good match. Find a better fit.

ps another good book is “Nothing but the Best” about Juilliard (a wonderful school) many years ago, outdated but puts a yelling teacher in context…ballet teachers can be like that too…

8

There are a lot of teachers out there who still go by the old school way of teaching, ie think that it is their job to break the student down, rip any ego they have to shreds, etc. There is a difference between being a tough teacher (which is something quite honestly you want) and being an abusive one, and sometimes it isn’t easy to to tell the difference. On the other hand there are ‘nice’ teachers’ who are really nice in lessons,never yell, who also aren’t that demanding, either (kind of like that teacher who is popular because they are easy back in high school or whatnot:).

One thing you may be running into is that you are hitting a different level of teaching , it can be a rude awakening for some when they find out the level of expectations out there when they hit conservatory. Music teachers exist at many levels and kids at some point hit a wall, when my S started studying with the teacher he had through high school he had many of the same feelings you did, realizing the difference between the level his prior teacher demanded and the new one, and you could be running into that. Teachers in high school for example may go over things in detail that a teacher in college expects you to work through by yourself, a high level violin teacher can expect the student to come into lessons being able to play the piece at a technically high level and only want to work on the musical elements, and that can be a big shock, and the expectations can be very different and much higher. With piano, from what I know if it there are certain things that are expected, and yes, some of it can be how the teacher sees things (my S’s old violin teacher claimed his intonation was off, his conservatory teacher and several teachers who worked with him told him that he didn’t have bad intonation, that his old teacher didn’t like the kind of intonation he chose to use), but some of it can reflect the demanding standards any high level teacher will have above a certain level

It could be the teacher is not a fit for you, that is not exactly uncommon, it is why people have many teachers among other things. If your teachers style doesn’t work for you, another one may work better…but one warning, if the problem is you are hitting a wall with the level of expectation , rather than something like the teacher’s way of correcting you (ie yelling), then you likely would run into that with a different teacher,things any high level teacher would look for in terms of technique and such. It is obvious you are unhappy and not feeling motivated, it is really important to figure out why. For better or worse, classical music training is a very exacting, painstaking way of training and if you want to do it there isn’t much you can do to avoid it in one way or the other. Teachers vary, but to be blunt from what I have seen no matter who is teaching, if they are any good as teachers they likely demand you do it certain ways,and what they do can seem like nitpicking, but it is the nature of the beast, for the good or the bad (and I do have some reservations about classical training), to me it is kind of like watching the judging on gymnastics in the olympics when they take a 10th of a point for this, 2 10ths for that, and I look at it and say “they have to be kidding”. :).