<p>I presume that most of the people here on CC are highly talented people (good grades, honors/AP classes, many extracurrics, etc). </p>
<p>Does anybody feel like they have a hard time finding the "perfect" friend? </p>
<p>I feel like I can never find the friend with the "right combination" of traits I admire. For example, I have a group of friends who are more social, and I love to hang out and do stuff with them. However, when it comes to ranting about how much hw I have in X AP/honors class, forget it; they won't understand. Yet another group of friends I have are more academic -- they're the ones I can do hw with and complain with about the rigors of school and whatnot. Although I'm really close to them as well, there is no way I can go shopping with them (simply because they aren't as interested as I am). </p>
<p>Yeah. Except I only have the friends I hang with, no real academic friends.</p>
<p>The only 2 academic friends are amazing and are in mostly the same honors/AP classes as me but can do the whole hang out and do whatever stuff too.</p>
<p>One of my friends is actually a member of this site so I better be careful what I say!!!
My friends have a habit of boring be to death, like their idea of a good time is going to Pathmark (w t f???), plus, none of my friends would go with me to a concert, because one supposedly had to play tennis, one avoided the topic, another said she doesn't like the band. I take a hell of a lot more AP classes than they do, and have so much more work than them, so they have no excuse that they don't have the time!
I can't wait until college to find some new friends who aren't boring losers.</p>
<p>Wow that sounded really mean...oh welll......</p>
<p>
[quote]
Could that be possibly because no one really enjoys hearing a pity-fest about homework and AP classes? :x Just an idea.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>It's more than just ranting on AP scores and homework... at least for me. It's like telling nerd jokes, comparing Minesweeper scores, or relating physics concepts to the pencil just thrown across the room. I sort of belong to two crowds - one is the AP nerdy crowd and one is not. The AP nerdy crowd gets it when I act nerdy and they laugh. The other crowd gives me weird looks and crap about my SAT scores. The AP crowd is usually too busy with homework to do the hanging out stuff - concerts, festivals, shows, movies, whatever, so I'll do that with the non-nerdy crowd and try to hold back my nerdy comments.</p>
<p>So yeah, I totally get what the OP is saying. Same thing with me.</p>
<p>Hah, I bore my non-school-driven friends to death with my school stress rants, and my school-driven friends as well, for that matter. There's rarely a perfect combination, though my scholarly friends are pretty well rounded, were all in xc/track together, and we like to hang out in borders and just mess around a lot of the time.</p>
<p>I had that problem freshman year. But in 10th grade I found this perfect niche of 5 or 6 girls who just...get me. And yes, I have a bunch of other friends who are the social types and just laugh at me when I get all grade-nerdy, and a few who are academic nerds and think "going to a party" means buying playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, blowing out candles and wearing paper hats--but my best buds are a perfect balance. Well, not perfect, but...you know what I mean.</p>
<p>Argh, I have like two groups of friends at school, but seriously I want to stop dabbling between them. Seriously, my Counter-strike team online are more of my friends than the people I know in real life. I feel like I have to adjust myself accordingly to each group, which is lame.</p>
<p>I have a very similar problem in my school. I also have two group of friends that I socialize with. Both groups are considered quite "nerdy" but one is more hang-outable and one is just..lunch friends. The "lunch friends" are extremely paranoid about each other's mark so all they do is brag or complain. eg. "God! I got 92 in chem. I hate myself"
I feel unsatisfied being with them, but since I've been friends with them for like 7 years, I don't think I have any choice. And also, my social friends are all older than me so they'll be graduating this year.</p>
<p>I used to go to a school where I could relate to most of my friends. We were all pretty serious students but we all enjoyed basketball, talking about sports and stuff. </p>
<p>Now I go to a different school. It took me so long to find a friend I could talk to about everything. He's literally the only kid I can relate to. I have other friends but I can't talk to them about every day things. They don't know much about current events and aren't that great academically. Some of them know a lot about basketball, which I like, but I can't relate to them in school that well.</p>
<p>Then I have some friends who I can talk to a little bit about school work, maybe some stuff about our lives, but it doesn't go beyond that.</p>
<p>But I have one friend who I hang out with all the time. He's not that great academically but he's not stupid, he's just really lazy. I am too but not to the extent he is. He's the kind of kid who might forget to do some assignment and he'll be kind of worried but forget all about it soon.</p>
<p>But he knows all about stuff happening in the news, sports, music, and we both love to make fun of the same stuff. It gets really offensive sometimes so I won't get to detailed. haha</p>
<p>@Chamilitary Mayne: problem is you are thinking way too little and overacting.</p>
<p>@OP: Sorry to hear that...your situation reminds me of something my uncle said about my cousin, who's experiencing friendship conflict too: "He's called a social butterfly and treated like a social moth."</p>
<p>I have friends who a pretty balanced mix between academic and social... all very intelligent, some definitely care more about grades than others, but no one who cares very much or who doesn't care at all.
I'm surprised that your 'nerdy' friends are okay with you complaining about grades. That doesn't usually sit well with anyone ^.^ One of my friends especially reacts very strangely to it. Example: I get a B on a history test I studied 5 hours for. I say "I don't get why I got such a bad score!" She flies into a rant about how "I need to stop making people feel bad by complaining about PERFECTLY GOOD grades" and et cetera. This would make sense, except that she DIDN'T STUDY and got an A. I wouldn't have complained about it to her if she'd gotten say, a C. <em>sigh</em> Anyway grades are something you want to steer clear of in conversations.
P.S. In this particular example I think the reason for her behavior specifically is that I am her 'Asian example,' ... her parents hold me up as her role model academically. She's developed this inferiority complex about it, and keeps giving me a hard time :(</p>
<p>Perfect friend? You're never going to find that friend, but I totally understand what you're saying. I'm associated with two different social circles. There's the academic crowd and the social/non-academic crowd. </p>
<p>When I'm going to shows/shopping...yeah, it's normally the "social" crowd.
Study sessions/other nerdy things...academic gang.</p>
<p>You kind of have to find people who like to do at least a few things you do.
But for me, there are many things it seems no one around me likes to do. (Or to the degree I do.)</p>