First, thank you for your comments. The reason we posted here in the first place was to get advice and that means from both cheerleaders of the boarding school experience and those that have had less positive experiences.
To explain here - yes, we did tentatively suggest that this could be an option, but we are in no way trying to convince her to go. This is not the only option our family is considering - It’s just the only one we are discussing here because this is a prep school forum. Also, we have made it very clear to our daughter that we’d rather she be with us throughout high school. We have also told her that she can decide this is not a good option for her at any point- before applying (if we even get that far in the process), after applying, after accepting an offer, even after going to campus if she decides to.
Please keep the advice and opinions coming! It is very useful for us and for future readers of this thread to see many viewpoints.
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@KRogers you have provided zero support for your assertions. Zero. In this day and age, do you really think it is plausible that a school would turn a blind eye to “horrors” going on? Or that their insurers would allow them to? If you answer anything but a resounding “no!” you are no insider.
Also: drinking, drugs, and bullying go on to one degree or another at ALL schools. In my experience those ills are FAR more prevalent in public schools. I have been in the boarding school world for 22 years, and over that time there has been very little drinking/drugs/bullying – and zero tolerance when it’s found.
There’s too much to refute in your post, and I have too little time. Boarding school is not a good fit for every kid, but you don’t have to make things up in order to make that point.
Link to your dissertation, let us know what school you worked at, cite studies proving your points. Until then . . .
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Agree with @cinnamon1212 ….but need to add that there is also sex at boarding schools….just like there are all these behaviors at any typical high school 
To the OP and other readers….please consider visiting the schools during the school year when kids are on campus. Before COVID, some of the girls schools (Emma & MPS) offered visiting weekends for prospective students. You might also try a summer study program at one of the schools - just to see what it’s like to be away from home, live in a dorm, attend classes for a week or two.
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100 percent this was our experience. Every school wanted to make sure the child was driving the process and had the parent’s support but not pressure to apply.
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Another consideration - Has child been to sleepaway camp and how did it go? Mini Avocado started sleepaway at age 8 and LOVED it.
Kiddo started residential summer camp the summer after first grade (had just turned 7) and also could not get enough. She goes to many different ones each summer (traditional, Scout-based, etc). It’s one of her favorite things.
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Fwiw, we only allowed DS to apply as a day student because we couldn’t see ourselves without him. He told every single AO that he was applying as a day student but really wanted to be a boarder. At many BS, they’ll help you with that transition if you want it (assuming beds are available and you are willing to pay more.) It’s amazing how strong the pull can be for many kids!
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I have to laugh at the idea that anyone is “sending their kid away." When our son opened his first BS acceptance letter, the first words out of his happy 14-year-old mouth were, “See you later, Mom!”
If you want to get a handle on how badly some kids want this, check out this forum in the weeks just before March 10th (decision day for many of the boarding schools the kids here covet). Let the kids tell you why they want to go. It’s generally not because their parents are beating them or prefer unencumbered time with the Howells at the club. 
Boarding school was very tough for us, but we put on a brave face for our son’s sake. As I always say: For as much as we miss him, he’s missing nothing.
Nothing about @KRogers post rings true, just nothing. Threads like this appear occasionally and have been answered to death. A bit of searching should give you what you are looking for without making click-bait claims.
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Thank you for the reply and openness to my input. It is great that you want her to stay with you and I really hope she does, you sound like a really loving family.
I never had an opinion on boarding schools until I worked in them and then obviously wrote a paper. I was truly horrified, actually no I was traumatised from both experiences. There were a lot of positive stories but the bad were unforgettable.
I think your comment, reading to her each night was really beautiful. But that won’t happen across the miles at boarding school. The wake up call or bell that kicks of their morning symbolises the start of a very hectic day. They start early and finish Prep at 8 or 9. There is very little down time for them. In addition many schools, including the ones that you list have an initial no contact or restricted contact policy for the first couple of weeks between parents and children, with schools advising parents not to contact their children daily. All of this is designed to reduce homesickness and for me the thought that my child was away from me and longing for me would kill me. I also believe it is a form of emotional abuse even if unintended.
In terms of supporting my opinion (and it is just my opinion). Most of school websites state their parent / child contact policy. I would urge you all to pick a few and look at them.
Boarding school syndrome is well documented, you just have to google it. The celebrity stories, the victim support groups… all of it is widely published.
And I know bullying, drinking, abuse etc. happen in all schools but in day school you go home to your mother arms. And by the sounds of the OP if I was your daughter I would be very happy to be going home to your arms, to catch up on the day and work through any issues.
I see some commenters here reacting to me with anger or derogatory remarks, I apricate that you may feel defensive having children in BS or having gone there yourself but that doesn’t change the reality of the real and genuine risk residential intuitions pose for children.
To be clear on my earlier post, while phrased it subtly and politely, nobody should interpret it as compliance is optional. Because it isn’t.
So to be clear, this thread is not the place for discussing general reasons for choosing boarding schools or to swap personal anecdotes. Posts need to focus on OP’s daughter and on her options for secondary education.
If anyone needs a refresher of the forum rules, to which everyone acknowledged and agreed on registering, I am linking below, which will also explain why some OT posts “mysteriously” disappear.
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My son’s school has never communicated anything even remotely like this to us. Perhaps some schools do but this has not been our experience.
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The loving home doesn’t go away just because the child attends boarding school. I don’t think you understand how the school calendar works. We live in AZ, our son went to BS in CT. Between drop-off, Parents Weekend, Thanksgiving, winter break, and spring break, we were together almost every six weeks and then, of course, all summer. Parents with children who board but live closer to their schools often visit and attend school events. Those Dickensian days are over. If anything, the short breaks away from the loving home often improve the dynamics when the student is home again–everyone appreciates everyone more.
This is precisely what boarding schools are trying to ferret out from apps and interviews. You/your child clearly are not candidates for boarding school. If your child would be terribly homesick and you would keen in his/her absence, boarding school would not benefit your family. Basically, you’ve answered your own question here. Boarding school is not for you.
If you read here long enough, you will see that BS is hardest emotionally on us parents. Our kids are independent and thriving. Our son was so ready for the boarding experience and consumed every bit of it with gusto. He is two years out of college and still occassionally thanks us for the gift that Choate was to him. He hopes he his is able to give his own children this same gift.
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@skieurope I am only posting directly in OPs daughter
@ChoatieMom You don’t get those kind of holidays if you are in another country as per OP post. Your son sounds to have been lucky and enjoyed his experience and I am glad for you and your family but my suggestion to OP is that it is not work the risk. Even still the love and bond cannot be the same if your child lives in a resides in another state or country. I also don’t get the push to make them independent? The law states they are your legal responsibility until they are 18, deeming them not mature enough to care for themselves until that point, why force it. You only have them for a short time, fair enough if they are gung ho on going I guess.
Also, I am conscious the moderator is eager to stop these posts so I will refrain. I don’t want to encourage the posts to be removed I think they are helpful for anyone who has need to read this thread so I will stop! There is always censorship when somebody talks out about Boarding Schools 
@RoonilWazlib99: From your OP and your other responses in this thread, it appears that you are considering multiple options for your daughter in an even-handed way. @KRogers makes a good point about distance and breaks for internationals, although many international students and families are fortunate enough to travel to/from BS during the school year. I hope my comments and those of other happy BS families here underscore what a positive experience BS can be for the right student. Only you and your child can determine how time and distance might affect your family and how ready and willing your daughter is for this level of independence. The right schools (and you’ve received many great suggestions) will be happy to answer your questions honestly and help you determine whether this option is right for your daughter. IMO, any risks in this equation weigh more on the family side than the BS side.
Good luck with your decision and keep us posted on how you come to your conclusion – that information will be very helpful here for other international families in your position.
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Start a new topic if you have written a paper on ‘Boarding School Syndrome’ and want to provide information and debate specific to that. Share your paper. You said to google it. I did and it all seems to be talking about kids sent away at 7-9 years old, which is not what is being discussed here.
To the original poster, it sounds like you are asking good questions and doing your research. It is not an easy decision or process. Good luck!
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I don’t know how your family operates, but I don’t think any high school-aged student does that, speaking from experience as someone who attends a boarding school as a day student.
Also, your entire argument can extend to sending students to live in college dorms, too…
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Kids going to college are generally 18, legal adults and have the maturity for is, a 13 as per OP daughter not so much.
Also, the kids stalk me!! They come in and lay beside me telling me all their problems! I only read to them to keep them quiet. But that time in the evening helps them and OP already has a system for second level its important to keep that bond