UPenn essay 5a

<p>My Essay is crap. I have no confidance in it at all. Feedback, guys?</p>

<p>It is not common for a life-long atheist to want to become a Quaker, but if my "conversion" involves being a student at the best school in the world, then sign me up (I don't want to say this...but how should I reword it and still have the same impact?)! I’ve long been attracted to Penn for its illustrious history and for its dedication to intellectual pursuits. Penn has always stood out for me because its history has always honored knowledge in a wide range of academic endeavors. As the nation’s first institute of higher learning devoted to wholly to practical applications of the liberal arts—and the first major school that didn’t start off as a divinity school—Penn has fostered the growth of some of the world’s greatest minds. The academic and social environment at the University of Pennsylvania truly excites me and its one that that I would love to be a part of and one that I believe I would thrive in.</p>

<pre><code>Academically, I find Penn the best because of its strengths in practically all fields of study. I am a voracious reader of almost anything and everything and I’m passionate about learning new things. My main passion is learning about art history and Penn’s History of Art department has an incredibly talented and knowledgeable faculty, incredible research opportunities, and world-class facilities like the Institute of Contemporary Art. One of my favorite things about Penn’s History of Art department is its dedication to contemporary art—a dedication seen through the founding of the ICA, one of the nation’s preeminent museums devoted to the research and exhibition of contemporary art. I would love to be able utilize not only the ICA, but everything that the History of Art department has to offer in my pursuit of learning about all things art. Not only will Penn’s History of Art department teach me everything I will have dreamt of learning about art history, I feel like my enthusiastic interest will contribute to the high quality of students that the department expects.

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<p>While I do love the humanities, I love learning about science and math as well and I think Penn provides excellent and extensive opportunities for me to explore astronomy, engineering, number theory, or any other subject I am interested in. At Penn, I would definitely explore other departments and classes at both Wharton and the School of Engineering and Applied Sciences. From taking economics at Wharton or Continuum Biomechanics at SEAS, I know my diverse interests will be satisfied at Penn.</p>

<p>While there’s no doubt that Penn will be able to offer me everything I need and want, I can also contribute to the livelihood of Penn. I don’t want to spend my college career holed up in my dorm studying endlessly. I want to be a part of the wide range of student groups that Penn has on campus like the Penn Band, the Philomathean Society, the Badminton Club, the Penn ACLU, the Undergraduate Assembly, Bloomers, and countless other organizations. I want to make my voice heard on campus whether I’m playing on my alto sax on Franklin Field, fighting for civil liberties with the Penn ACLU, or performing sketch comedy with the Bloomers, I know my contributions to Penn will be active, strong, and diverse. </p>

<pre><code>I think Penn will allow me to grow both intellectually and emotionally. I need to explore what is out there in the world and break free from my sheltered Alabamian life. Here in Alabama, my views often differ from the majority the people and it is hard for me to find who I am in a place with limited resources, but at Penn, I think I will find my niche and I will blossom into the person I was meant to be. I’m not scared of this journey from a small town to an urban city because I know that even though Penn is a large school, the school still cares about each student and that I will receive support and guidance from both students and faculty.
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<p>My conversion to being a Penn Quaker is not a blind one. If anything, I have the utmost faith in the Penn education and environment. I hope Penn has faith in me as well, both as an applicant and a future student.</p>

<p>That's certainly not 'one page' like the application requests</p>

<p>It's in 10 pt font when I paste it onto the application form (with room to spare, actually). When it's 11 pt font, it fits on a regular MS doc w/ room to spare as well. Yeah, it's a lot, I know.</p>

<p>Gobias,</p>

<p>I think you can leave off the first sentence and the last paragraph and it would be just as effective.</p>

<p>ladyinred &mikescool, I was just referring to how awkward that combination is... without serious proven passion (essays + ECs), there is no way you can persuade me to believe that someone is out looking for a double major in life sciences and economics lol .. but that may just be me</p>

<p>to newyorker: i did get in!!! =] to m&t! i'm really excited.</p>

<p>my m&t essay, i don't think it's really that special:</p>

<pre><code>As we quickly move forward into the 21st century, scientific innovations and new technology seem to emerge and develop everyday. Within the last few years, human creativity has spawned devices ranging from XBoxes, designed for simple leisure, to Web 2.0, a mighty communication tool allowing common people to voice their opinions. Today, technology has seeped into the foundations of practically every field from medicine to archeology. Behind the scenes, however, we find that the engine that drives this powerful force consists of not only human ingenuity but also leadership, teamwork and organization. This symbiotic link between management and technology is what moves the world forward. Understanding this fact, I have chosen to apply to the Jerome Fisher Joint Degree Program at UPENN because I know that its unique curriculum will equip me with valuable skills that I need to become an effective leader of the future.

A summer at Pennsylvania Governor’s School for Information Technology (PGSIT) opened my eyes to the many applications of technology. Technology is not only about cool James Bond gadgets, but it is a way of problem solving that requires thinking outside the box. However, in order to harness the great power of the mind, leaders of industry must oversee and guide the process of innovation. As Dr. William F. Hamilton said in the article published in Emphases Magazine and later reproduced on the M&T website, “Rarely, if ever, do technical developments have much impact without significant managerial input.” Only by knowing how to use the talents of team members and resources can new ideas realize their potential quickly and efficiently.
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<p>At PGSIT, as the team manager for a project to brainstorm and develop an alumni website for PSU using the latest technologies, I personally witnessed how much progress depends on effective management. Looking back, my difficulty balancing the role of being a good friend and being a good leader resulted in my inability to enforce deadlines and maintain productivity during meetings. Even though I shared some of the funniest moments of my life with my teammates and our last-minute paper did manage to place third, if we had been more organized, we could have used our talents better and maybe could have won the competition. Being a leader, especially as the only girl and the least technologically savvy in the group, was harder than I thought, and I realized that I have much room for improvement. In order to be a good leader, I need to learn to overcome difficulties and deal with tough situations. I believe that with its distinguished faculty and renowned courses, a Wharton education will be a valuable asset for my numerous encounters with future team projects. </p>

<p>In addition, one of the best educational resources at Penn is its diverse student body. It is more difficult to work with a group of people who come from different backgrounds and possess different views than to work with a homogeneous group. Because everyone is so unique at this university, working with these people will really challenge my management and teamwork skills, and therefore, prepare me better for the real world.</p>

<pre><code>Besides knowing how to use resources, management also involves assessing situations and making good decisions. No matter what career I choose, decision making is inevitable; in fact, simply choosing a career is a tough decision! While courses at Wharton will teach me when to take risks, both Wharton and the Engineering School at Penn will show me how to look at situations analytically from different perspectives. These skills will enhance not only my future career but also my everyday life.

Over the last ten years my dream may have shifted from becoming a kung-fu princess to becoming perhaps a nuclear physicist, but one thing for sure, no matter what career I choose, I want to stand out. There are only a handful of prominent Asian women in the fields of business and science. I know that in order to be one of them, I have a long and arduous journey ahead. But I think through the rigorous curriculum of the Jerome Fisher Program and with the support and guidance of the university, I will be well equipped for the long hike towards my goals.
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<p>That's a pretty sweet essay--you've done it again!
See--that's the essay edge you need in the admissions process.</p>

<p>I have always stood by the idea that essays are everything; well, you know what I mean by that...</p>

<p>1 page front and back?</p>

<p>no one page the front...</p>

<p>I EXTENDED ALL MY MARGINS!! i think this is the third time i've said this.</p>

<p>no i meant to ask if we can write one page front and back without double spacing</p>

<p>oh haha oops, in that case, no</p>

<p>just the front single spaced...</p>

<p>maybe two pages double spaced...but why not just do one page?</p>

<p>GOBIAS SOME COFFEE! im sorry i just needed to make a little arrested development plug... and nice essay... i think i should sleep now</p>

<p>Aye, for my Why Penn, I had .6 margins; 1000 words. It was awesome though and I put my heart in; and it's sure to be unique and leave a lasting impression--a least I hope. I didn't take the cliche route.</p>

<p>Joy can u plz check ur PM?</p>

<p>i modeled my upenn essay after franklin's autobiography. the firs tfew sentences are his. quoted so. do you think the effort will be noticed?</p>

<p>I heard Dean Stetson talk about essays once and although he didn't say it was bad, he said a lot of students quote Ben Franklin in their essays. They might look over it as "just another Franklin essay."</p>

<p>well i personally believe the essay is just tlaking about relaly specifically wat u like about penn. forget the fluff and creativity if you cant do it. just answer the question, be truthful. people try to hard to try and make it creative and forget why they really wanna go. show ur interest. dont just copy from the brochure, the yget that al lthe time. i talkwed about very specific things in mine. i talked about an anecdote about getting lost when iwas attending a bio class and found myslef in front of their bo pond and was amazed by uit. then my other paragraphs were about why i like bio and i have apassio nfor it. and then i tlaked about specificall ywat i likeaboutthe class i attended. what i wanna do with my bio major. also i talked about penn sceince cafe a clu b iwanna join and a club i wanna create, and then ended it shortly with a few sentences tying it al togther. just be specific. the creativity can show in ur optional essay</p>

<p>You just bumped an 11 month-old thread. And I hope this is a joke.</p>

<p>What font and font size should I use?</p>

<p>I'm sticking with 12 font, times new roman, regular margins. But I guess you could change after seeing the last few pages of posts.</p>