<p>My 'Why Penn Essay'?</p>
<ul>
<li>Why Penn?</li>
</ul>
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WHY NOT!?</p>
<p>p.s just joking</p>
<p>How long should the essay be? 1 page single spaced or double spaced?</p>
<p>^^ 1 page single spaced.</p>
<p>What did you guys write about on Huntsman..I wrote about Iraq. lol.</p>
<p>Could anyone look at my essay and give me some feedback as to if it is good</p>
<pre><code>In the last six months of my life my mindset in a college search has been different than most people at my school. My friends think about where they would most like to live or which schools will have more parties, while others think about just getting by with minimal effort. When they begin to talk like that, I wonder did I really ever know you. I cannot believe that my friends do not want to go to college to challenge themselves. I attended class with them for all of high school and thought they were just like me. I thought they would apply to the same schools as me, but they all have reasons for not applying which make no sense to me.
When I began to look for a school, I knew that their academics would have to be one of the best in the country. I knew that it would have to be recognized as one of the best in the field that I wanted to pursue, and lastly I knew it would have to be located in a large city. If you have not figured it out, I am talking about the University of Pennsylvania. It is a perfect match for me.
Their Department of Bioengineering year after year has been recognized as one of the best in preparing students for the workforce. The school has been open since before the birth of this nation, and it is known well for its rigorous coursework and traditions. Also it is located in the beautiful city of Philadelphia. Simply, these are the things that have attracted me to the University of Pennsylvania.
The University of Pennsylvania is a great match for me. I love math and science, and from what I can tell there is lots of that at this school. I also have always wanted to go to a big city in the North where it snows more (it is simple snow=me being happy). Another thing that makes me a good match for this school is that most people think of me as a crazy, fun, and outgoing person. People usually think or at least I think that the University of Pennsylvania is comparable to a smart and confident person. Now you put the pieces together crazy outgoing person mixed with smart and confident person. That sounds like a good match right? I mean how could it not; it works in the movies all the time.
To show you that I am a good match for the University of Pennsylvania I am willing to do anything to prove it. I would even camp outside the in the Quad for two weeks straight. If you want to take me up on the offer just call me or better yet send me a University of Pennsylvania sweatshirt and I will take the next flight in.
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<p>foozball2461</p>
<p>I think the first paragraph is unnecessary. The school wants to hear about you, not your friends. (But it is good that you want to attend a school that challenges you- you should make this clear in your essay).</p>
<p>In your 2nd par. you should elaborate on how the Dpt. of Bioengineering will prepare you for the workforce instead of just stating it. You mentioned later that you like snow. Maybe you can connect that to what you love about Philadelphia's beauty. Also "(it is simple snow=me being happy)" is not really needed. If you live in an area that doesn't get much snow, maybe you can expand on that to show how you're ready for a climate change.</p>
<p>If you love math and science, what sort of clubs, organizations, or classes does Penn offer to satisfy your interests? "I can tell there is lots of that at this school" just doesn't cover it.</p>
<p>"People usually think or at least I think that the University of Pennsylvania is comparable to a smart and confident person." This sounds a little incoherent. Don't say what other people think you are (unless you're quoting). DECLARE what you think you are and maybe give an example to prove it. Try not to repeat what you have already said ("smart and confident person" is mentioned a couple of times. You can also use 'individual' instead of 'person.' </p>
<p>"That sounds like a good match right? I mean how could it not; it works in the movies all the time." You sound a little unsure of yourself here. It might be better if you didn't question yourself. Also the part about the movies makes it sound as if you're not taking yourself seriously.</p>
<p>Have someone else read your essay, like a parent or close friend. They can probably tell you some things about yourself that you may not have thought of.</p>
<p>You have some good ideas here, but you have to develop them.
The important thing is to sell yourself to the school, but also show that school has sold you. Do some research on their Website and find all that Penn has to offer you. I hope this will help. Good luck!</p>
<p>Could anyone give me feedback on my essay? I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm applying RD.</p>
<pre><code> When a child first steps into a candy store, everything appeals to him. The Wompers, the Milk Duds, the Tootsie Rolls, he doesn’t know what to choose. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees that one candy that he was truly craving but couldn’t put his finger on until he saw it. He knows this is the treat he wants to sink his teeth into more than any other. The texture, the taste, the richness, this is what he was looking for. In my case, I am that child and PENN is my treat.
Before a child even tastes a sweet morsel, he is drawn by sight. There is something about this particular treat that stands out from all the rest. This is the way I feel about PENN. When I visited the campus, I was able to immerse myself into the PENN environment. There was an air of calm and tranquility. The atmosphere was one of enjoyment and levity. Students were happy in Commons, crossing Locust Walk, and even attending classes. There was a sense of camaraderie between individuals who love the school they attend. Due to the high standards of excellence PENN has, this institution, as well as its students and faculty, embody the spirit of scholarly pursuit. It reminds me of the school I am coming from. It feels like a place I’ve been all my life, like home. This college is the place where I can find out what I can do. I want to live up to those PENN expectations. This is a challenge that I look forward to facing.
The course at PENN I look most forward to studying is biology. Biology has been my passion since the age of five. After reading Gentle Hands, Strong Heart, the biography of Doctor Daniel Hale Williams, the first African American to successfully perform open-heart surgery, I knew that I wanted to pursue a career in the medical field. I became fascinated with the human body, how it functioned and what drove these functions. I wanted to learn as much as I could about the biology of the human body. For this reason biology became the course I’m most drawn to. If I am going to gain the knowledge I desire, I will have to expose myself to this field through, as many venues as possible, be that through research opportunities, undergraduate education, and beyond. These aspirations will propel me past a standard 4-year degree. I am looking for an M.D./Ph. D in biology. To achieve these goals, I will need a strong and dedicated support group. This is also why I am so drawn to PENN. PENN is dedicated to not only increasing knowledge but also providing support to students in this endeavor. This is quite obvious when one looks at two of PENN’s programs in particular: the CURF and LSAMP programs. CURF would serve to provide me with counseling, helping me to find, and take part in research opportunities throughout the University over all academic fields. In addition, I can receive guidance when looking for graduate-school funding and fellowship awards. The LSAMP program is similar, helping to increase the number of minorities represented in the sciences. I myself fit this criteria and hope that I can fully benefit from all the program offers. I can receive help throughout my undergraduate experience as well when seeking admittance into graduate schools, such as the PENN Medical School, which I also hope to attend. PENN is the place where I wish to spend the entirety of my college experience. I want to take full advantage of the opportunities that are available before me in order to maximize the education that I can receive. This is where I feel I belong.
After the child walks out of the candy store, he is quite satisfied with the delight he just had. He has gotten everything he wanted and more, fully content with the entire experience. At the end of my school journey, I hope that PENN will be the treat that I have just completed. I want to say that I am a PENN alumnus who was able to live up to the illustrious standards this institution has set in place. I want to be able to say that the various characteristics this University offered were those that let me know that my interests match those that this institution hold dear and that this place is my niche, my home, the place I had been searching for all along, though I didn’t know it at first.
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<p>Sharif08, I sent you an e-mail.</p>
<p>Please send some feed bak:
Why I feel UPenn and I are a match made in heaven
To become the best, you have to be amongst the best. This is the chief reason I want to attend the University of Pennsylvania.
The caliber of the student body which UPenn attracts is within a league of their own. In terms of sheer talent, dedication, diversity and ambition, the students that attend UPenn are outstanding. I feel that interacting with such people, who share my desire for success and aspirations for excellence, will help me strive to stride new heights and set higher standards of excellence for myself. Also, the faculty of UPenn is world-class, amongst the cutting edge in their fields, especially those belonging to
the Wharton School of Business. Professors like Jeremy Siegel and Marshall Blume are some of the most brilliant minds in the field of Finance, something in which I intend, as of now, to pursue my career. I wish to benefit from their knowledge, and Penn will enable me to pick the minds and gain from the research and experience of these eminent personalities by studying under them.
UPenn has one of the most diverse student bodies amongst all universities in U.S.A., and indeed the world. I enjoy meeting new people belonging to different nationalities, religions and cultures, as it exposes me to aspects of the world that I didn’t even know existed, and broadens my mind. In fact, the feature that I cherish the most about my high school is that, being an international school, it brought me in contact with people belonging to different nationalities, cultures and backgrounds, and that, more than anything, helped me develop a more international, broad- based outlook. Being in UPenn, I believe, will satisfy my desire to interact with people from all over the world. Also, I would myself be able to spread a bit of my own culture and thus contribute to the international experience at UPenn.
What especially attracts me to UPenn is the Wharton School of Business. The faculty, the facilities and the intense and rigorous course of study, make it very appealing, as I am a competitive person and feel that nothing brings out the best in me quite as well as a challenge. The broad based education that emphasizes on both business and the liberal arts will help bring out the best in me.
The course most appealing to me is the Huntsman Programme in International Studies and Business, which enables to me combine my two passions in a way that no other university allows me to. My aim is to pursue a career in Finance. However, I am also greatly interested in International Affairs. I feel that in this era of globalization, what with the rapid advent of international investment in India, International issues are going to play a big role in Indian Business. The International studies and International Business modules will help me understand and follow international affairs and interpret
the role that will play in Business. I will also be able to look at Indian business from an international perspective, and perhaps gain new insights by the view from the other side. Besides, this programme also enables me to pursue further study in Hindi, the language that I love. The Huntsman programme will thus help me stay in touch with my culture and my roots. Its study abroad semester will also allow me to return back to India and study in St. Stephens College Delhi, an experience that will keep me in
touch with the Indian way of doing things. Finally, through the Huntsman programme I will come in contact with a small group of culturally diverse people, a stimulating experience that I look forward to.
Finally, I want to attend Penn because of the opportunity that it offers me. The variety of extracurricular activities offers wonderful opportunities for recreation and an active social life. There are societies and clubs, many fraternities to search and socialize with like minded individuals, and it is situated in the culturally and socially vibrant city of Philadelphia. It also has a cricket club (something which I didn’t know even existed or was known in the USA) and this offers me the opportunity to play
the game that I love, and improve on it.
I do not know what I want to do in life. Do I want to be an entrepreneur or do I want to work in organization? Do I want to want to be an analyst, a stockbroker, a consultant, or who knows, an economist or a writer? I feel that I like Finance, but nothing is certain in life and I may end up hating the field. However, UPenn offers the fluidity and flexibility of study, and the broad- based curriculum that makes me certain that whatever I do end up doing, UPenn will certainly help me find the way.
After all, isn’t it inscribed on a campus gate: INVENIEMUS VIAM AUT FACIEMUS (we will find a way or we will make one)?</p>
<p>Abhi your essay seems quite cliche and I get a sense of brown nosing.... lol. But good luck!</p>
<p>hasn't everybody sent in their applications. i mean its no use giving feed back now is it?</p>
<p>Yea they have, I was just saying</p>