I know that there are many rules about double depositing, but would this be a different situation? My parents are basically forcing me to transfer to UVa, but I really just want to stay at my old school. They’re making me deposit at UVa against my will, and I need to know that if I convince them in a week to let me stay that my old school (William and Mary) will still let me come back. I just don’t want to be breaking any honor code violations. In would normally be against something like this but it’s sort of a desperate situation. @“Dean J” @“W&M Admission”
URGENT, PLEASE HELP--If I deposit at UVA and decide not to go, can I still go back to my old school?
I’m just guessing here, but have you already registered for classes next semester at W&M?
A deposit is basically earnest money you put up to reserve something; the idea is that you are showing you are serious because if you do not follow through you risk losing the deposit. Inherent in that model is the possibility that you will not follow through; sometimes, for various reasons, people decide after paying a deposit that that will not be their course of action after all.
You probably would have the responsibility to notify W&M that you are transferring, probably before your fall tuition is due but certainly before the first day of classes.Part of that would include them canceling your fall registration. I presume you have not done this yet?
You need to have a serious talk with your parents about why they want you to transfer and why you want to stay. Not knowing any details, my general impression is that no one should be forced to transfer against their will; if you are happy at W&M and in good academic standing and wish to continue there, and you parents can afford it and aren’t trying to get you to transfer someplace much less expensive for financial reasons, you’re probably best off finishing where you are.
They cannot literally force you to transfer, but they can obviously bring a lot of pressure on you, including refusing to pay for another year at a school that, for whatever reason, they do not accept.
How much is the UVA transfer deposit? Tell them that you cannot see yourself changing schools at this point, so they are risking losing it, but also be a reasonable adult - it is possible they have very good reasons for insisting on a transfer, so you should hear them out. They need to lay out, in detail, all the reasoning why they think you should change schools, and you should similarly lay out in detail all the reasoning why you should continue at W&M. It’s your education but their money, so everyone must agree in the end.
Yes, I already registered for classes next semester; I had to about a month ago, when I didn’t even know if I had been admitted anywhere yet. Of course I plan to tell WM as soon as I am sure what is happening; what I’m really wondering is if I push the issue with my parents and tell UVA that I won’t be attending after they make me pay the deposit, will they tell WM and will it be some sort of honor code infraction?
No, I think the real risk is simply losing the deposit. That’s small change compared to a rift between you and your parents.
This is all administrative stuff; think of it like registering for classes, and then having an epiphany and changing your major and all your classes over the summer. Not recommended, but certainly not dishonesty or something you’d get punished for.
You and your parents need to reach agreement on where you’ll go, and why, and what their concerns are and how to address them, and what they’ll pay, as soon as possible.
You’re at least 18, you can decide your future now. Man up and do what you want.
They’re super unreasonable people; my mother definitely has a temper problem and I’m worried about how she’ll react if I choose not to go to UVa. I just need time to make up my mind on my own before she forces me onto a path I don’t want to be on. Thanks for your help guys, I needed it.
@soptransfer - I am sad to read your predicament. I wish I could do something for you to change things. But, there does come a time in one’s life that you have to stand up for what you want. I hope it works out for you.
I have a friend who was forced by her mom to transfer to UVA because of instate tuition (money was tight). She was so miserable because she never wanted to leave that she transferred back. Wm and Mary has low instate tuition as does uva so it seems like the issue is not money. Seems like more your parents dream than yours - you can also get lost at a bigger school if your heart isn’t in it. I would put together a list of reasons of why it doesn’t make sense and email them - that way your mom can calmly read the logical reasons to stay and maybe empathize before overreacting
I hope it works out for you my friend. Contact the administration of each school that handles this sort of thing if you haven’t already. They may be able to give you some advice on the matter