<p>This doesn’t seem to be a decision for the OP to make – It sounds like a done deal and the OP will need to negotiate a strategy to make up the work and deal with the stress.</p>
<p>I advise speaking with teachers now.</p>
<p>And administration – In my area this is NOT an excused absence. Pretty much, only sports and hospitalization is excused.</p>
<p>I’ll bet this student doesn’t have the large family with numerous gatherings or he would have said something about seeing everyone all of the time. Regrets in the future about not seeing relatives who all gather together for only one time- likely. Missing school events- participating in a state level athletic or other major event?- probably nothing that major. This trip won’t derail a top student. I read the stupidest reasons to …a college thread tonight and comments about forcing students to get out of the car or even do some college visits is like this student- later he will probably not regret going instead of staying in his familiar routine. HS students often won’t do things they later are glad they did unless parents push them.</p>
<p>Go. This opportunity will not come again and you will have memories for life (even if during the time you are there you are bored/angry/whatever). This is far more important than a week of school. And if missing a week of school in your life will actually make a difference in the long run, good luck with the rest of it (actual college, grad school, job, kids). Seriously- life happens and you work with it, it’s not put on hold.</p>
<p>D2 just took 2 days off to go on a shopping trip in NYC with me. She missed her physics test and will make it up on Mon. She did her SAT tutoring via Skype in the hotel while I was at work. </p>
<p>We all work very hard, and sometimes I would just let the girls take a mental health day, or take few days off for a long weekend vacation. Their grades never seemed to suffer from taking time off.</p>
<p>Time with family is priceless. My kids are very close to their cousins because we regularly take vacation with my siblings and their kids.</p>
<p>I can see the students point of view. In addition to missing school, a trip like that involves lots of travel and jet lag when you return. It could really impact his grades and application process at a fairly critical point. I think at 17 or 18 the student really should be able to make this choice. My guess would be this student has been to visit prior to this. </p>
<p>As a parent, I would not want to cause such a disruption in the process and be the cause of a bad result. In our high school, this would not be an excused absence. I think most teachers would be kind, but they are under no obligation to accomodate the student. </p>
<p>If the grandparents or adult family members really wanted all of the grandchildren there, they would have had the party during the summer vacation period. </p>
<p>That being said, my oldest missed a couple of days of school senior year to attend his cousin’s wedding on the opposite coast. It really messed him up for about a week, with a delayed flight and jet lag. He was able to handle it. If the wedding had been the following year, I would not have had him leave his first year of college just before mid-terms to attend. I also don’t think I would take my second son, currently a HS senior, out of school to attend a family event. He would have a more challenging time making up the work. </p>
<p>My hubands parents delayed their 50th celebration until the summer so that their children and grandchildren could all attend and would be able to make a vacation week out of the event. In this case, the student could visit the grandparents another time to make it up to them. </p>
<p>If there is something else going on, that is another story. But I really do see the student’s perspective in this.</p>
<p>Go on the trip. My mother died unexpectedly, shortly after my parents’ 49th anniversary. She said at one point, “50 is just a number.” Yes, it is, and I am really happy that she felt that way. Nevertheless, it is a significant number in our culture.</p>
<p>QMP attended a school with ridiculous amounts of homework, and missed a week + an afternoon, due to an orchestra trip to Germany and Austria. (Learned multi-variable integration without hearing any of the lectures about it.) It was very difficult, but well worthwhile.</p>
<p>Maybe if he misses this grand, rare celebration in a foreign land, 50th wed anniv, he could attend the next 50th. Make it up to them that way. How and why this trip is scheduled has been discussed, but is pointless now to debate how grampa could have done it. What to do now is all that matters.
The student doesn’t want to go because he doesn’t think it will be fun, and it disrupts his schedule. I was that way sometimes too, as a child. Even now, sometimes what wife or S may want isn’t fun for me. But there are events and reasons that can be bigger than my preferences.</p>