Just to clarify that accommodations cannot pose an undue financial or administrative burden or substantially change the program. I believe that in a caring environment, the program we had with our public schools, with the daily sheet, would work in your daughter’s school. Were her absences really for MD appointments? Does her school go from 9-5? That is a problem right there.
It sounds, though, as if the school has offered her a way to graduate, that she is not doing. Maybe a conversation with a school staff person could help her.
Is there a way to include her in any school programs or activities so that she is still in touch with classmates, even if she is on leave? If public schools can be flexible on that (and out of kindness, really, in our case) I don’t see why they couldn’t find a way at a private. Can she be included in senior and graduation activities?
Is there any way she can attend the final month, with some accommodations if needed?
Some kids don’t care about social stuff but your daughter does. It seems important for her closure to be again part of her class. Has anyone told her that she can be part of the class activities even if she hasn’t yet finished the English classes? Has she had a personal meeting with the principal, face to face, about the emotional side to this?
Is your daughter on medication? A small amount of an SSRI might get her over the bump at least enough to do the graduation requirements. She can continue counseling of course. Yoga and Tai Chi can be surprisingly helpful for some.
It is not clear if she is accepted to college. At the college level, have her register with the office for disabilities and set up someone at health services. Make sure to get tuition refund insurance. Research and think about accommodations that would help her (excused absences, single room, extensions on papers, postponements of tests, notes from class, etc.) and have an MD sign in- you can write it yourself and just have the MD or psychiatrist or therapist or whatever professional sign it.
What is the actual trigger for your daughter’s depression or is it the whole shebang? If she is affected by a friend’s suicide make sure SHE is safe. Please! Not sure what happened with the MD but not good.
Please try to lessen whatever bitterness she feels against the school. We used the term “institutional behavior” so as to avoid personalizing it. The school is like an organism: it is protecting itself. If the school has a clear path from you on how to proceed and can feel safe working with you, maybe they will budge on some things. If the school doesn’t budge, and you have done all you can, show your daughter that all these troubles are like a necklace around her neck, then take it off. Physically. Just let it go and move on.
PM me if you would like to keep in touch.