We went to through something very similar with our two kids, both of whom had chronic health issues and missed a LOT of school due to medical issues. They did allow S to graduate because he was a NMF but had frequent conferences with the kids and me and administration, scolding us and trying to get us to allow them to communicate directly with the medical providers (the providers refused as they have had schools use information provided against students). Ultimately, D was asked to leave her private HS after JR year.
She had also had some embarrassing times. Teachers would question her in front of the class about her health issues. They would ask her friends where she was–whether she was REALLY sick or playing truant. It was actually a relief that once she left the HS, all of that ended and we no longer had to have frequent sessions with the administration. Some of her MDs were wonderfully supportive and helped us through the very rough times, while a few others (including her pediatrician) abandoned her and us.
We gave D 3 options: transfer to the local public HS that is in our district, go to a charter school that is mostly online, or take & pass the GED and start college. We visited the charter school and she HATED it with a passion. She opted to take the GED and got 4000 out of 4000 and started CC that fall. She visited her friends who were in their SR year of private HS regularly and transferred to her dream private U (applied after her 1st semester of CC where she had a 3.8 GPA). Nearly all of her 3 semesters of CC were accepted by the private U she transferred to. Her friends who started as freshman at that private U welcomed her to campus, as they started in the fall and she started as a transfer the following January. She did get her bachelor’s degree from the private U, after being admitted to one of their most competitive programs. We did register with the disabilities office for both her CC and the private U, in case she needed the services and to alert them that she may have medically-related prolonged absences, as she had every year for the past 8-10 years.
(We also registered S with the disabilities office at his private U–he never used their services, but it made us feel better, knowing he was registered with them and could have them help as needed; he graduated with honors! S opted NOT to attend one of the Us that accepted him and offered significant merit awards because they indicated that if he missed 2 weeks in any quarter, they would likely ask him to withdraw from their U and forgo all his merit awards; the other Us promised to work with him and us and indicated that they had other students who were able to succeed even with prolonged medical absences.)