<p>I did most of the research, so I largely generated the list. Kids never showed any interest in schools that did not share my values (i.e. super frat/party schools) so there was no friction.</p>
<p>I did add schools because kids were over-confident. One was a Godsend because it provided EA acceptance to a really fine school. Other child also accepted to an "add on". However, both were rejected from far less selective add-ons than the schools they are attending. Both got into their first choice schools. I'm assuming this mysterious "fit" was a factor. Neither are the schools from their lists I would have chosen, but I could see that they were perfect for what each wanted.</p>
<p>Allowing the child to choose the college is a big step toward letting him go to living his own life and supports the realizations that 1) the child isn't you, and 2) we need to live our own lives and not live vicariously.</p>
<p>Finances, of course, are something else. There, of course parents have a say, and it can be painful when this comes up after acceptances. Can't always be avoided.</p>
<p>About distance: A "far-away" school with easy airport access can be more cost effective and convenient than a closer school, especially considering the rising price of gas. Independent traveling may also be more convenient. Colleges also consider travel expenses in financial aid packages so distance doesn't always need to be a factor in financial decisions. If you just don't want your child to be so far away, that's a different story. My kids didn't want to leave our little Northeast bubble, even though with local airport travel time would be less. Just a psychological thing I guess, They didn't want to be a plane ride away.</p>