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<p>Just to speak for the “other side”: if you CAN visit your kid (and both you and the kid want that visit), that’s okay, too. </p>
<p>D is five hours away. We see her every six to eight weeks, sometimes at home and sometimes on campus. Of course, she does go to school in a very cool city…</p>
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<p>True, but maybe moderated when the student goes to school in a major metropolitan area. D1 goes to school in the Boston area. We have a lot of friends in the area, and a heck of a lot of touristy things we’d like to do. D1 would get a few nice meals out, but wouldn’t be the only focus of the trip. If she were at a rural school, it would seem a bit confining. </p>
<p>We’re on the west coast, so time and finances mean this wouldn’t be a frequent thing. But it’s a good excuse for us to go once a year.</p>
<p>D already tells me that I don’t need to attend most school events so I can’t imagine she would want me hanging around college gratuitously. We go to HS sporting events and football games to see the marching band which she is fine with, but is mostly all business. We get hugs for concession money at half-time. 
I anticipate that’s how it will continue when she leaves the nest.</p>
<p>SlitheyTove–I keep asking the kids to consider a school in DC for that reason, so I have an excuse to go to DC more often, so far no takers :D</p>
<p>Unless the student is coming home in the fall for breaks other then Thanksgiving, I think parents and siblings should plan to visit them the first fall no matter where they areparents weekend or not–unless money is a real issue. It helps with the adjustment for the whole family, and can ease homesickness. Our sons college 600 miles away didnt have parents weekend until spring, so we and his younger brother visited Columbus Day weekend freshman year. We noticed many other parents also around campus at that time. It was one of the best things we did, for him and for us. When we dropped him off in early September, we could say see you next month! Then in October, it was like camp visiting day only betterwe could see where and how he spent his time, meet some of his dormmates, take a few of them out to dinner, use our rental car to do some errands. And from Octoberjust a few weeks until Thanksgiving </p>
<p>Of course, now hes more ensconced, but we still try to visit him on campus at least once a year. For us, its quality family time; hes proud to show us around. We expect to do the same with our younger son who is going to a campus even further away next fall.</p>
<p>I think it may depend on how often your kids come home to visit. Mine did frequently because they remained good friends with a lot of local kids.</p>
<p>They also went to college in places that were wonderful to visit, so I visit (visited) each twice a year - at least once a semester. However, except for the start of the first year, I never dropped off or picked up a kid, as others have described.</p>
<p>It was helpful for me to visit Freshman Parents’ Weekend because then I had a mental picture of what the suite looked like, where my son was picking up his mail . . .</p>
<p>For us, one of the bonuses of going to Parents’ Weekends was that we got to know with S1’s suite-mates’ parents. (He lived with the same group four years.) We exchanged photos, had a couple of big group dinners together (which the kids organized) and went to all the commencement activities together. I was sad to say goodbye to them, knowing that our paths would probably not cross again.</p>
<p>We never visited our older son at all. (He was a 600 mile drive away or a 1 hour-ish flight.) He came home for all the breaks. Though starting as a sophomore he spent most of his summers on the opposite coast doing internships.</p>
<p>Younger son we went to parent’s weekend freshman year. Partly to see my Mom who lives not too far away and partly because we wanted to go to a presentation by the professor who sent him off to Pakistan and India on his winter break! I’m thinking about going some time this spring because I want to take him and a second cousin out to dinner. The cousin lives about five minutes away and I think they ought to get to know each other as we have some shared vacation property with that family, but we rarely actually see them!</p>
<p>I moved ds in freshman and sophomore years at his request but don’t imagine I’ll be back until graduation.</p>
<p>I went to college 20 minutes from home. My parents had season football tickets, and the church on campus was our home parish. I never saw my parents on campus. My freshman year when my dad dropped me off he said as he was leaving “remember if you need anything I go to 11:00 mass.” It wasn’t until he was down the stairs that it hit me – he always went to the 9:00 mass. It was his way of telling me that he trusted me to figure things out on my own. And I thank him for that.</p>
<p>DD1 went to college about an hour from where we lived at the time. I often picked her up to go watch her sister’s high school games when they were in the area. We moved 3000 miles away at the end of her second year and she left her stuff in storage. We didn’t go back until graduation that summer; she moved herself in with the help of a family friend. </p>
<p>DD2 went to college two hours from where we lived. I went down a couple when family was visiting since it was a tourist town. We moved seven hours away at the end of her third year. </p>
<p>DD3 went to the same school as DD2 so they were both there for a year. We moved in the freshman; the other had to go up earlier. I went up in Dec when DD2 had a large part in a major event on campus, then not again until graduation.</p>
<p>We moved DD3 in this year and haven’t been back.</p>
<p>We visited our freshman S, 1100 miles away, once this year. He came home for Thanksgiving, Xmas and spring break. He will not be home for Easter (his choice). I know the weekend we visited he could not wait to “dump” us at 10 or 11pm so he could meet up with friends. Then he was exhausted the next day when we dragged him out of bed at 10am. LOL. We probably will not visit again, but if we do, H has said we will travel someplace from there and not hang around the school/city he is in so that we are his main focus and not his friends. I think he feels at college it is his space and he does not want to share with us. Fine with us.</p>
<p>We visited DS 5 times in four years: Freshmen move-in, and at the end of each spring semester each year. We have never been there during the parent’s weekend. His school is thousands mile away.</p>
<p>However, he flied back home every break (thanksgiving, winter break, sping break, and summer break of course) except for the spring break in his senior year. He loved coming home during UG years.</p>
<p>The break at his school is longer than most schools’, but they rarely have any other holiday.</p>
<p>S went to college 725 miles away. I drove him out his freshman year. I took him a load of furniture in May of his second year for his apartment. I went to graduation.</p>
<p>He came to my town on breaks at first. Then he had a car at school and tended to do stuff on most breaks. </p>
<p>We spent 10 days on a father-son trip to Costa Rica the summer after his soph year.</p>
<p>S on east coast–us on west coast. Son was an athletic recruit and flew out to the school by himself (they sent a ticket) for his first visit. The weekend he needed to move in was D’s 16th birthday–I couldn’t leave her alone (she never would have forgave me) and we couldn’t all afford to fly out ($750 airfare x 4-uggg) so my husband took him. He is now in his sophomore year and I still haven’t been out there and I would rather spend the $$ on him flyng home than me going out there. But, I will hopefully make it out before he graduates (unless an angel out there would like to send me a ticket!) </p>
<p>Although I miss my little boy, I thank god for Skype!</p>
<p>FirstToGo is a junior … SecondToGo is a freshman. So far we dropped off both kids at the beginning of the year … went to parent’s weekend their first year (not the other years) … picked up and dropped off on the ends of winter break (lots of stuff and an excuse for me to visit their campuses) … and picked them up at the end of the year. Full disclosure … FirstToGo is doing study abroad this term so we are headed to Europe to visit her. (PS - if one of our kids had performances or games we would go more often to watch).</p>
<p>Freshman move-in, graduation weekend, and family members would stop by if we happened to have a business trip in the area.</p>
<p>I’m gathering that other than freshman year, most people do not help with move-in days sophomore-senior year. Do your kids have their own cars? Our older two haven’t needed a car on campus at all so we have moved them in each year–and moved them home each year.</p>
<p>A couple of times I have taken D2 over spring break to the major city near D1’s college. We spent a night in her college town, D2 stayed in the dorm with D1 and went to class with her (I have an elderly relative in the area to visit, so did that while they bonded). Then D1 went into the city with us for the weekend, and back to campus on a train or bus. That has worked well. But that is pretty much it.</p>
<p>SteveMA … we do the pick-up and drops with stuff … it’s cheaper than alterrnative transportation for us; especially if we make the trips one day trips. Drive in … eat a meal with some of kid’s friends … pack … head home. It’s a long day … but actually my kids and I have had a lot of great conversations on the drives.</p>