<p>It broke my heart, but I let X take D to any private schools. She sees him maybe once a month, but he makes mega bucks – so if they intimaded a large donation would help, I wanted him there. No one spoke to him about this, but I didnt want to be there and hem and haw.</p>
<p>My dad did most of the college trips with my brother and my mom did most of the college trips with me. Some of them we did all together, though.</p>
<p>I wish it was my sister taking my niece to her first trip because she would ask the right questions as opposed to her ex. He will most likely put his foot in his mouth and embarrass is daughter. She is too shy to ask any questions.</p>
<p>I (Dad) did all the college visit trips. I let S handle the questions etc while we were there. These all occurred pre-application.</p>
<p>Post notices of acceptance, S went w/o parents. These visits were scholars events and included staying in the dorm a night or two.</p>
<p>I never realized this until now: S was more relaxed on visits with just one parent–two for me, one for H–than on visits with both parents. Maybe the whole-family approach was too stressful for him. The exception was the second trip to his final choice, when we all had a great time.</p>
<p>At more than one visit, the parents and prospective students were seperated at some point in the tour and/or presentation. The explanation was that the students got THEIR questions asked and answered when the parents weren’t involved. </p>
<p>Everyone knows their kid, but apparently the “norm” is that the kid will speak up if the parents aren’t around.</p>
<p>We didn’t talk to random students at the initial visits but all the accepted students events had more opportunities to talk with current students. At a CMU lunch there were two current students at our table. I was a good girl then and got the ball rolling - I swear all the other parents and kids were just going to sit there like lumps and eat in silence. I asked a few leading questions, both to the college and high school kids and they finally started talking.</p>
<p>I (the mom) went on all the visits with S. My husband was content to leave the researching and planning to me; I am better at it and more interested in the process than he is. I am also the only one of the 3 of us who was likely to ask any questions.</p>
<p>All Dad for all children. Dad’s the better traveler and Dad’s the more adventurous. But Dad also tends to tire his charges out by tackling too much in one day. “We didn’t come fifteen hundred miles for you to opt out of walking this campus because you’re TIRED!!!”</p>
<p>(jk, mostly)</p>
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<p>Same here. I would have been happy to take D to any school within driving distance, but I don’t like the ones that require flying and overnight stays. </p>
<p>I gave birth–time for dad to pick up some slack!</p>
<p>Actually, I got a lot of the flavor of any trip by speaking voluminously with H about it. Much better info than talking with D.</p>
<p>We did two as a family. I did a majority of rest with my son, although the youngest went on several trips, and for the most part, he was very good. I ask lots of questions and make observations that my son does not make. Then, we compared notes. Things have worked out well on most visits. Even the youngest son has his favorites.</p>
<p>I did about half with each parent. If there were schools that my brother looked at when he was applying with one of my parents, the other parent took me. the summer before my senior year i went on a big east coast college visiting trip with my family. i would not suggest this as an entire family outing–my 8th grade sister was extremely bored the whole time.</p>
<p>We did most tours as a family but there were a few day trips that I was not able to go. I did all of the planning, the appointments, the address to load into the GPS, etc. I considered sending them with a check list of my questions but didn’t think that’d go over too well! I know my husband does not go into the bathrooms and showers - I do on every visit! I also go to the health center at every college, which doesn’t get done if I’m not there. But I think that for a feel of the college for our daughter it doesn’t much matter who takes her.</p>
<p>DH takes the guys on most of the trips, as he has a lot more vacation. However, there were a few schools we all visited, as we did some of the early trips as part of family vacations. I saw six of the thirteen schools S1 considered (unless there a couple I’ve since forgotten). </p>
<p>DH is also a travel and logistics whiz. I’m good at laying out all the background research and organizing the rest of the application process. S1 did huge amounts of advance work, talking to friends who were involved in similar activities, talking to advisors from those programs, etc. My shy kid walked into advisors’ and profs offices, plopped down and had long conversations. Who’d have ever thunk it? He also took copious notes after each school visit, which proved to be really helpful. I did not visit S1’s campus until we moved him in – and it was immediately apparent why he chose it.</p>
<p>S2 has different goals and is not looking for as narrowly focused a program. As a result, there are a lot more schools on the list at this stage. This kid is my debater and social butterfly, and he’s not inclined to go asking questions. He’s good at picking up the undercurrents and social vibes, though, so he has been making a point of sitting in on classes. DH took him to see seven schools last summer, I took him to see two, he’s seeing three more this month and then DH and S2 will make another trip over Spring Break. Because of fall sports and IB, we are trying to get visits done early.</p>
<p>S1 made solo visits in April when he was down to his last couple of schools. We felt he needed to have a comfort level (or not) with the distances involved, and it was cheap to do it with frequent flyer/free Amtrak points. I expect the same thing will happen with S2 next April.</p>
<p>We’ve taken trips with D1 and D2 that, for the most part, were split between DW and I. I went to Portland to look at schools with D1 so, when D2 wanted to do the same, I deferred to DW (I can’t hog all the fun). I took D1 to visit in-state schools while DW took D2. DW took both girls on a road trip through the midwest (ending at Mall of America) to visit schools. That’s the advantage of them being only two years apart.</p>
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<p>I can’t stress that enough. If at all possible let a student who is thinking about a far away or remote college location visit on his or her own to see what getting there and back really entails. </p>
<p>I even did something close to this on our visits. No cabs, limos etc. We took the transportation and handled the bags just like he would have to do as a student attending the campuses we visited.</p>
<p>Question for 07dad and Countingdown:</p>
<p>Were your sons over 18 when they flew solo to visit colleges? </p>
<p>My 17-year-old may have to fly alone to some accepted student visits (rolling admissions publics) and I’m wondering if he’ll run into any problems with the airlines or airport security.</p>
<p>I would think not. Kids can travel unaccompanied at a much younger age. Make sure he has a driver’s license or state issued id just to make things simpler.</p>
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<p>YES</p>
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<p>My S attended summer camp in Colorado every summer for 11 years. Once he passed the unaccompanied minor age, he flew on his own. Also, he flew at 14 (in 2002, so post 9-11) to meet a family at the Denver Airport to go skiing. </p>
<p>The airlines don’t care after the flyer is no longer an unaccompanied minor and Security is the same for an adult. Make sure they have their government issued photo id and that it matches the information on the ticket.</p>
<p>DH is returning today from his first visit w/ DD. I did all of the others and I had visited this particular school already. He liked the campus and said, “If she decides to attend here I would have no trouble with it.” That is a fairly strong endorsement. </p>
<p>I think that as many have already said, the Dad and the Mom are concerned about different things. Moms tend to look for the degree of comfort and fun the school may offer. Dads are in general more pragmatic and want to know the details about security and ease of getting to to campus from home. </p>
<p>To illustrate:I love the quaint little town, he didn’t really think much about it one way or another but was annoyed that he had a hard time finding a good bookstore. I love the info sessions and learning what is offered, he finds the salesmanship tedious. I want to picture my kid living there he wants to leave that up to said kid. </p>
<p>I think the important part of this visit is the time DH will be spending 1 on 1 with DD. Though I knew that he would not approach this visit with the gung-ho attitude I would, it was important for both of them to do it. I guess my point is that a visit with a dad is not equal to a visit with a mom but it is not inherently less than or greater than either.</p>