<p>Regarding visits, do people have pecking order for what schools to visit and under what scenarios. </p>
<p>I’m hoping for some kind of very bright line result (e.g. only one of Choice A schools) so I’m not dragging my son along to visit with wife recovering from knee replacement. I love both my kids but not so much when they are together!</p>
<p>I start getting pavlovian nervous at the sound of the mail truck.
I repeat in my head, please let there be a thick oversized envelope.
I look at the mail dont see one and say, ok, please make all of those thin regular sized white envelopes be bills or letters about financial aid.
Then if there is a piece of mail with D’s name on it, I have to stare at it until she comes home from school because I dont dare open or peek.</p>
<p>My daugther’s Hartt acceptance was in a small envelope so people should not assume that a small envelope means rejection.</p>
<p>ActingDad and broadway95, With regard to my S Ithaca news – on MyIthaca, he auditioned on campus on Jan 26. I noticed that the major to which he applied changed from Musical Theatre to Acting (he applied to both). I called admissions to ask what that meant. They told me to have my son call (they will not tell a decision to a parent). My son called and learned that while he did not get into the MT program, he is accepted into Acting (which we are plenty happy about - half of his applications are to MT programs, half to Acting). Apparently, an official letter is in the mail.<br>
broadway95 - I really would have been okay with a gap year; I think it is the being in limbo and not knowing that is the hardest. Sending good wishes your way!</p>
<p>Thank you, Madbean, for your tales from the other side! I think that’s our biggest nightmare: D getting into her dream school and us having to say no. We have tried to coach her from Day One on what we can afford, but we did not stop her from throwing her hat in the ring at schools that are known to be stingy with merit aid. I guess you can say we are hoping for a merit miracle!</p>
<p>Broadway and Four: Despite all of the time/money/travel, I too am fine with a gap year if the stars don’t all align this spring. I’m sure your experiences are similar in that these high school years went by in a blur. This past year my D has been so busy that I only see her in passing! I know it’s normal and even healthy for her to be breaking away, but I also wonder if taking a breather may help her gain perspective on her future. She could get some big city training, pound the pavement, go on auditions, work some (goodness knows there has been no time for a job!), maybe even shadow people working in the field. I honestly think her college experience could be enhanced rather than hindered given the perspective of a year to get her bearings. At this point she is not remotely considering that possibility (she has some good safety options), but I am fine if that is what she chooses. (Or maybe it’s just me who is suddenly realizing THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING and I selfishly want to hang on to her for one more year…)</p>
<p>I just want to point out how nice it is to see such supportive parents on this sight. Good job. You’re all doing great. Your kids have no idea how lucky they are to have parents that offer wholehearted support like this. I love seeing all of your dedication to your children’s dreams.</p>
<p>I just wanted to offer some encouragement to those of you who have kids who are thinking of a gap year. My DS12 is on a gap year right now( he is not a theater kid though), and I have to say that it has been one of the best experiences of his life. It is so true what Skew said in that HS has been so busy and stressful. My DS12 and DS14 both went to/ are at at private rigorous prep school and have been involved in may EC’s. I think my DS12 is just enjoying being able to stop and smell the roses for awhile. He did hike the complete Pacific Crest Trail, 2650 miles from Mexico to Canada, got his Wilderness EMT, is working in a local National Park on their Search and Rescue team, and just applied to work on an organic farm in Switzerland for a few months this summer. He deferred a year, so a little different in that he knows when and where he will be going to college in August. So don’t fear the gap year… it is truly a gift in every way imaginable. My theater kid 2014 is considering it as well. He would love to do a BADA or LAMDA semester or NTI semester.</p>
<p>^^Okay, 5boys, I have to ask…when you say “DS12,” does that mean the one who graduated in 2012? I always thought the number meant where they kid fell in the family lineup…then with this latest post, it dawned on me that perhaps you don’t have fourteen children but rather you’re referring to their graduation year…Either way, you’re an inspiration–5 boys is plenty! :)</p>
<p>Ok – since Times3 started this diversion – can someone tell me the origin of this “DS” and “DD” stuff? For the longest time, I had no clue what the “D” stood for. Finally, I had to consult an “urban” dictionary to find out the D stood for Darling. I asked my daughter about this and she had no idea of its use so its not part of her text messaging. If you feel your child is not being particularly “darling” is there a label used when they are the opposite of darling?</p>
<p>It’s just a convention, like starting a letter with “Dear.” I’ve been seeing DS, DD, and DH (husband) for as long as I’ve been using the Internet, which is about 15 years.</p>
<p>I love these posts! So many of you are making me laugh and feel comforted. Oh boy, we’re a mess. Do we need a 12-step program?</p>
<p>Thanks madbean for your story and those of you chiming in about finances and having a reality check. We’re waiting, as most of you are, and even though we warned our D about applying to schools that are out of reach financially, she said, “But I might get a scholarship!” and we said, “O.K. Guess it can’t hurt (except for the $100+ for fees!).” To hear that it’s possible to say no to CMU is a real encouragement. That means it’s possible to say no to a lot of schools based on financial considerations. We’re afraid we could cave in to a prestigious program. </p>
<p>Skewlcounselor–I’m so with you–EVERY SINGLE thought. Wow. But I think my D is going. She has been invited in to a spot with a substantial merit scholarship. So, even if her dream schools don’t come through, I think she’ll be going. </p>
<p>Anybody else gain 10 pounds or more through this process because I have. I can’t wait for summer!</p>
<p>^^Re: those 10 lbs., yes, that and more…all the car trips? Good grief! And every time I read another article in the New York Times about how sitting in front of a computer is incredibly bad for you…I reach for a cookie to make myself feel better! Then I stare at the computer some more… ;)</p>
<p>Yes - cake helps me too! Altho the theatre kid is all set, we are still in the waiting phase for our D’s transfer acceptances to come through. Fingers crossed that I’ll have an empty nest in the fall (as compared to having a moping twenty-year-old around).</p>
<p>ActingDad - I used the D for a number of years on the Disney sites (DD, DS, and DH) before someone asked what the D stood for (their answer was Dear). All those years I thought it stood for Disney!!! I’m pretty literal . . .</p>
<p>I learned D as Dear as well. And ActingDad D suits when they are annoying you too. Let’s just say DamnHusband springs to mind occasionally. :-)</p>
<p>Hang in there guys! The roller coaster is winding up for the big loop. I wish you a sturdy safetybelt and smooth gears all the way. And most of all that you have a chance to grab moments of joy with your kids. That spring was the last time my Ds had an overlapping spring break and I am soooooo grateful that we took that week and enjoyed it as a family. It was right in the middle of this waiting period and we got some good news and bad news on the trip. But mostly we have really great memories of that time together. <3</p>
<p>ACtingDAd, Everytime you write Dear so and so in a letter do you really feel like calling that person a dear? So at any given moment you can choose to insert whatever D word you choose for the DS DD and we can do the same, hows that? We can probably tell from the context which adjective is appropriate for the scenario if you give us enough clues ;)</p>
<p>Times… I do indeed have 5 boys… with my last but not least a Junior this year, so HS class of 14. It has definitely been a ride:)</p>
<p>I thought Id share a little embarrassing tidbit that may help others going through the agony of admissions notifications.</p>
<p>My D, who has been successful at everything she ever touched, got a string of rejections from a myriad of schools elite and safety. She already had two acceptances but the rejection letters were particularly hard on her. It didnt help that they seemed to come one after the other for three weeks straight. As much as you rationalize the situation, it is still a rejection and it hurts. The notification letter from her top choice school arrived while I was alone at home. I put the envelope up against a light bulb in order to read it (I had already been castigated for opening her mail). I was able to make out the dreaded cannot offer you a space. I then did the stupidest thing I ever did. I decided not to show her until an acceptance came in. I was trying to protect her from further disappointment. It was well over two weeks when I finally gave her the letter. Only then did she tell me she was waitlisted and they needed to know if she was interested. I dont think I have ever felt so bad about anything in my life.</p>
<p>It ended on a happy note she called to tell them she was interested. Called a few more times to let them know she was still interested and finally got the call that she was accepted and is a happy first year today. However, it could have turned out a disaster because of my interference and need to protect her from disappointment.</p>
<p>Oops! We can all relate, though. Thanks for sharing and possibly saving others from making a similar mistake. And hurray for the happy ending!</p>
<p>Hehe…All the time I was using “D” I was using as short for “daughter”! Since the acronym is DD-Darling Daughter…my shortened version did not mean “Darling”; it meant “Daughter!” As much as I adore my daughter, I would never refer to her as my Darling!
:-)</p>
<p>SouthernDramaMom–that was very brave of you to share with all of us. It’s hard to let go of control, isn’t it? If a letter comes, I’ll be more likely to drive all over town looking for my D so she can open it. I’m so impatient.</p>