<p>Hey,
I need help in writing a waitlist letter to Lehigh and UMich. I really would like to get into these schools and will take any guidance i can. </p>
<p>Thanks</p>
<p>Dear Lehigh Admissions,
I thank you for letting me have this final chance for admission into Lehigh and for keeping my name under consideration. I know that there are many students vying for a spot at Lehigh and I understand the probability of my name being selected from the list is quite slim. But I will try my best to show that I am the most qualified of those on the waitlist.
I want to attend Lehigh for various reasons that are specific to Lehigh’s philosophy. As a student of business, I feel that Lehigh’s school of Business is the perfect choice for me because of its blend of theoretical economics and business administration. I have interest in both fields of business studies. I especially love micro-economics and its impact on decision making among business firms. No other school offers this type of top-notch combination of courses. On top of the Business school, I also love the fact that Lehigh gives such a well-rounded education as well. While I intend to be involved in business ventures later on my life, I know that having an excellent general education will only help to serve me. Overall, Lehigh offers me the best of both academic worlds, which is why it is my top choice.
But what can I offer Lehigh that other students will not be able to? How about a student who is all about leadership and action? Sounds good right? If you accepted me that’s what you would get. On top of my leadership qualities, you would get a skilled and experienced orator. Essentially, Lehigh would be admitting a student who can rally up his peers and make changes in life. After all, leadership is a key skill in the business world, and there is no better time then the present to start taking charge. This is what I have to offer Lehigh, and that I hope that I am recognized for what I am worth and will be chosen to attend Lehigh. Once again thank you for this chance.</p>
<p>I thought weight list letters were to inform all the things you have done sense. This letter, especially the last sentence, reads like a sales pitch. I like that you mentioned that you were specifically interested in their econ/BA program. I would include more things like that, and by that I mean specifics. You say you have leadership qualities list them, especially any awards or things you have done since then. They want to see how you have progressed since you applied.</p>
<p>okay heres a major revamp</p>
<p>heres my final draft</p>
<p>I thank you for letting me have this final chance for admission into Lehigh and for keeping my name under consideration. I know that there are many students vying for a spot at Lehigh and I understand the probability of my name being selected from the list is quite slim. But I will try my best to show that I am the most qualified of those on the waitlist.
When I was creating my college list, I looked at colleges not by rankings or name, but by what they could offer me. Lehigh came up as my top choice because of its educational philosophy and beautiful campus. As I read more about Lehigh, I realized that it had the perfect balance of the practical applications of education as well as the theoretical meaning behind it. Eventually, I realized that Lehigh was the perfect match for me and so I put it as my number one choice.
When I was doing research on Lehigh, I came across a few figures relating to class size. I found out that the average class size is 25-30 students and that over 80% of all classes have fewer then 30 students. This is exactly what I have been looking for in most of my college choices. I wanted a class size that would be small enough for personal interaction with the professor, but I also wanted a large enough class for discussion and interaction on wide spectrum of opinions. I know that some schools have large seminar classes of 100 or more students with only one professor and a few TA’s. I really did not want that, which is why I believed Lehigh to be more superior then some of my other schools.
I want to attend Lehigh for various reasons that are specific to Lehigh’s philosophy. As a student of commerce, I feel that Lehigh’s school of Business is the perfect choice for me because of its blend of theoretical economics and business administration. I especially love micro-economics and its impact on decision making among business firms. No other school offers this type of top-notch combination of courses. On top of the Business school, I also love the fact that Lehigh gives such a well-rounded education as well. While I intend to be involved in business ventures later on my life, I know that having an excellent general education will only help to serve me. Overall, Lehigh offers me the best of both academic worlds, which is why it is my top choice.
However, there is more to college then education. Though education does play a large role in college decision-making, one must also consider the campus life. I can honestly say that I have not seen a more beautiful surrounding area then the Lehigh Valley Gorge. I have come down to that area many times for white water rafting, and I have experienced the serene beauty of the mountain area. Besides the location, I also have been interested in wrestling for the Lehigh Mountain Hawks. My school shut down the wrestling program when I was in 9th grade, so I didn’t get much out of it. But if I attend Lehigh next year, I will have another shot at wrestling. I found out that the Mountain Hawks are successful in almost all sporting events and I hope to be a part of such glorious team.
But what can I offer Lehigh that other students will not be able to? How about a student who is all about leadership and action? Sounds good right? If you accepted me that’s what you would get. An example of my leadership is a project I am working on. I am trying to start my own non-profit organization that would improve educational facilities in India. Within a year I hope to have it up and running along with my board members. Obviously running any type of organization requires strong leadership skills and so far I have not faltered or failed in my endeavor. On top of my leadership qualities, you would get a skilled and experienced orator. I have shown my aptitude as a debater in my local league, and I was elected a Junior Statesmen Senator from my school. Recently I went to Washington D.C. where I debated along with 700 other students on various bills and legislation. Essentially, Lehigh would be admitting a student who can rally up his peers and make changes in life. After all, leadership is a key skill in the business world, and there is no better time then the present to start taking charge.
In closing, I hope that Lehigh admits me from the waitlist. I look forward to experiencing all that Lehigh has to offer.</p>
<p>It still needs a lot more work. I would stay away from stating that you have any qualities, because it comes of as pretentious. Like when you said "Clearly starting up this organization requires a lot of leadership" or something to that extent. Well, I am sure that does but that is for them to see. Plus, a lot of people do similar things like that because it makes them seem like they actually care about anyone besides themselves and there parents usually end up doing most of the work. Like I said before, just tell them what makes you a great leader with examples of what you have done. You have done some pretty interesting things, like the India thing and the debate thing. But the whole "Are you interested in leadership? Because if you chose me you will have a butt load of it." thing comes off like a sales pitch. </p>
<p>Also, I think you misinterpreted the 25 to 30 class room thing . I think most schools have classroom sizes like that, it is really not that small. The other 20% that has more are going to be the 100+ lectures you were talking about earlier. They are going to be the intro classes you are going to be taking your first (or second) year. </p>
<p>The point you made about wrestling is like a double edge sword. ITs good that you want to contribute to the student life there, especially a sport. BUT you said that you haven't wrestled since 9th grade, so unless you were really good then they probably won't see you contributing that much to it (but it will show that you are interested in contributing to the student body, so I guess it is good). You might want to change that to just how you like their wrestling team, and are interesting in starting again when you get there. Don't mention that they are a great team, it makes it seem like that is the only reason you want to join. Lol, you called their wrestling team glorious. You want to seem earnest and sincere, not like this is the most prestigious university you have a chance at getting in to. </p>
<p>Why did you change the part about theoretical economics and practical BA to "As I read more about Lehigh, I realized that it had the perfect balance of the practical applications of education as well as the theoretical meaning behind it."? When you said the econ/BA thing earlier it was more specified, and showed some passion about econ. When you changed it, it read like a empty generic compliment. </p>
<p>In fact a lot of it is filled with compliments that border brown-nosing. I am not sure about the whole wait listing letter, or if they ask you for one or if you are just writing one as an appeal. If they just asked you to write about why you want to go than that is different, but if they didn't then stay away from all these compliments. You definitely want to show interest, but be more precise. Don't ramble about their beautiful campus.</p>
<p>This essay lacks some fluidity and some kind of awkward with your word choice. Like "faltered or failed in my endeavor" or adding things like "quite" before things like slim (which doesn't really any purpose). Make it sound more like you own voice, as if you were explaining why you wanted to go there to your mom. You know, informal but not rude, pretentious, or too carefree/informal. </p>
<p>I hoped that helped, and good luck on getting in.</p>