<p>^I think it depended where you were. Even though we didn’t apply to jillions of colleges at my prep school back in the dark ages, we worried almost as much. And my best friend was waitlisted at Yale and didn’t get off the waitlist until August.</p>
<p>Update: She came home last night in an upbeat mood - very talkative at dinner about soccer practice. Her dad and I didn’t bring up anything college related. After dinner started talking about how she went into the counselor’s office and they found a couple of schools that have rolling admissions to which she could still apply. </p>
<p>Her dad and I kind of glazed over and got silent. She asked why - said she just wanted to feel like she had a couple more options - and we explained the options process on schools to look at was completed already, starting over a year ago when we went to look at all the colleges she chose to visit. That she had narrowed it down then, and this wasn’t really the time to start throwing spit wads at the wall to see if any stuck (unlikely when you’re rushing it).</p>
<p>I also relayed a lengthy conversation I’d had with an acquaintance in town who has kids at both USC and UGA, and her take was very positive for USC, some things better than UGA even though they also loved Georgia, as well as the similarities between the two schools.</p>
<p>And then … it was like a light switch was turned on. She told about a government assignment that day where 3x5 cards with every state name were turned upside down on a table and every kid was to pick one and convince the other students to move there. Yes, you know where this is going. She pulled the South Carolina card. This is where that Catholic high school tuition paid off, because she wondered if it was a sign 
I didn’t know if it was or not but I thanked God anyway hah.</p>
<p>The rest of the night she was <em>much</em> more excited about SC. A couple more kids she knew from other states showed up on the admitted students facebook page, and she messaged one of them back and forth. She even talked about how the money she’d be saving on loans would make her feel easier about spending a little money here and there in college (this is the kid who still has her first communion money, read: tight). </p>
<p>So thank you all so much. You sincerely rock. If this changes again I’ll update this post, but maybe we’re “done.” Admitted Students Day will tell a lot, but I do think she’s now going to go into it with a much more positive mindset about SC. </p>
<p>Last kid done with college selection process! Yaaaaay! [cue to me running through the yard screaming, grasping college propaganda in my hands over my head, and crying tears of unadulterated joy]</p>
<p>One of the hardest parts of the process of applying to college (for parents and students) is just how much of it is out of our hands once those applications are in.
Sometimes we feel those moments where the way it turns out seems to feel like the way it should, whether it is our original idea or not.
Congratulations to your daughter on a great opportunity at USC and I hope she loves it. </p>
<p>Congrats, docmom, sounds like she has worked her way through it and sees the light! (Now, if I were a praying person, which I’m not, I would thank god for these blessings and suggest that she doesn’t need the further favor of getting into GA off the wait list! 
God can give it to someone else!!)</p>
<p>Yeah how true - except I’d put “favor” in quotes hah. Excellent point. Really hope that doesn’t happen now! I guess getting on the waitlist isn’t always a great thing, in the long run. </p>
<p>Thanks for the update, docmom. She sounds like she’s coming around and is sincerely happy about her choice. Georgia’s loss is USC’s gain!</p>
<p>I think the kids are so used to having options, that when they have to pick it is tough!
It is like when you were buying a house…at some point it was time to stop looking and buy one already.</p>
<p>Not too many years ago (2005), there was a young lady on CC who wanted only to go to Yale. Her love was opera and only Yale could fulfill her dream. She was denied at Yale and only accepted at (oh dear) Michigan! She was dejected, but in her first year, she found lots of opportunity to sing and starred in a major production. She very quickly learned that Michigan was PERFECT for her. She LOVED it there. And today… <a href=“http://www.rebeccanathansonsoprano.com/”>http://www.rebeccanathansonsoprano.com/</a> (check out her bookings page) . HUGE SUCCESS. You can be sure she never looks back and wishes Yale had accepted her.</p>
<p>I am happy it is working out. With my son there was trepidation as well, until he set foot on the campus for an accepted student type day. Once he could visualize himself there he was fine. </p>
<p>USC is a beautiful place, really idyllic. </p>
<p>DD also had a major disappointment to get past. She was 1 of 39 students invited for Clemson’s full-ride national scholarship weekend, absolutely loved the school, but we could not afford it without the scholarship. Unfortunately she did not win the scholarship, and other schools on her list just didn’t measure up in her mind at that moment. </p>
<p>Time definitely helped put things in perspective. She got several full tuition offers a few weeks later and will attend the University of Richmond (which, before she attended Clemson’s scholarship weekend, had been her top choice). Since she wants to attend graduate/professional school, it makes sense to keep the loan$$ to minimum, and we also have a 10th grader in the wings, so need to make sure we have $$ left for her education as well.</p>
<p>DD needed to grieve for the the loss of one dream, so that she was able to get excited about a new one.</p>
<p>I’m a big believer in things happening for a reason! For some reason–your daughter is meant to be at USC and great things are waiting to happen for her there. Otherwise such a stellar student would have gotten in to UGA.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I’m assuming if she even cleared Georgia’s waitlist there would be no scholarship money (do waitlisted kids ever get scholly money?), and she hates the thought of those loans so much so that I’m not even sure she’d jump back to Georgia even if she got in. In fact, I know she’s relieved she won’t have any debt at Carolina. Hopefully after her visit on admitted students day she’ll just withdraw from UGA’s waitlist!</p>
<p>My daughter was accepted to all her schools and wait listed at her top choice. It was frustrating that with all her good news we both felt disappointment rather than excitement. This op-Ed piece helped us turn around our thinking, especially the part at the end that talked about college being a good time to go somewhere that may not be a “perfect fit.”</p>
<p><a href=“Opinion | Our Crazy College Crossroads - The New York Times”>Opinion | Our Crazy College Crossroads - The New York Times;
<p>Thank you NYCmod. Excellent piece.</p>
<p>I think it is a good piece, and his comments at the end are especially important…that college is a crucible and about becoming a new person. However, why slam those who were accepted to top schools? I don’t like his insult that those who were accepted received undue “patronage” or were grinds who worked the system. It’s not really helpful to anyone to make such characterizations and it just condones a sour grapes attitudes.</p>
<p>docmom Just a quick point – your daughter was/is unlikely to get scholarship money at UGA as an out of stater. There are a few highly competitive scholarships at UGA, but not much. If she wasn’t straight out admitted, she is even less likely to receive $. </p>
<p>I agree. I’m starting to think the perfect outcome will be she gets off the waitlist but still chooses Carolina to avoid the loans (and because she likes it!). We’re going down this weekend for admitted students day so we’ll see.</p>
<p>Update: got back last night from Admitted Students Day at South Carolina and what a difference a visit can make! We toured campus again on Friday in the normal tour cycle and had a phenomenal tour guide - probably the best I’ve ever had and I’m on kid #4. As we already knew, South Carolina’s campus is gorgeous but spring was exploding everywhere and the weather was idyllic. They’re doing so much on that campus and it’s really hitting its prime I think. The sessions were perfect for her, the resource fair helped in many areas and the people are just so darn friendly and helpful! We did a tour of Greek Village and the new rec center and the swimming pool (just huge) was packed with students in the afternoon on Saturday. </p>
<p>Drove the short mile to the football stadium and that is an amazing venue. Tons of tailgating space around it. She’s going to love the games I know. </p>
<p>Ate at some excellent restaurants and loved the atmosphere in both Five Points and the Vista - and met great people all over the place in both. Those two areas are just super cool and happening, although Five Points was a tad more student oriented. Did I mention the campus is just beautiful? I had my breath taken away all day every day. Turn a corner and another photo op, then another, then another… my daughter laughed at how many pictures I was taking.</p>
<p>We learned or confirmed: USC is much prettier than Georgia, it’s more compact and much easier to walk (although there are shuttles everywhere if you need them), the Greek Village rocks, the people are super friendly and the academic programs she learned about this weekend are very strong. My guess is this school’s stats and admissions selectivity are going to skyrocket. </p>
<p>By the end of the weekend she wanted to buy some apparel and ended up getting not one but three Carolina shirts. So all appears to be well. We’ll see what happens if she clears UGA’s list but I am pretty confident she’s found her home for the next four years!</p>
<p>Yeah, it’s a punch in the stomach to the kids. A lot of them going through this. I personally feel USC is a better choice even if UGA were in the mix, but you can’t tell that to someone who is feeling this way now. Just hugs and compassion and do go as intended.</p>
<p>If you can afford it, put a portion of the difference into an account for her to have when she graduates so that she can see the cost difference in real dollars. Most kids do adjust and end up just fine about the situation but they need that space and mourning time. It’s tough as a parent to have to watch this, but part of life and is one of the tragedies I’d take any day from the list of possibilities. </p>
<p>^^^^
What the cpt said! Well put! </p>