Wall Street Journal: How Involved Should Parents Be in College Admissions?

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<p>DS is a very busy musician and was a varsity tennis player too, and he took two AP courses and an independent study his senior year. He was absent from school for 20 days attending music related events (festivals, masterclasses, etc). He was mighty busy. I did NOT quit my job to organize his college search. In fact, the only things I did were proofread his essays (which he completed in the summer between summer music festivals and school), and get a calendar to write down ALL of his obigations on. </p>

<p>Sorry...but he needed to own the college application process, not me. He did most of the work and completed all but one of his applications by October 15. We did accompany him to auditions. </p>

<p>I think that students need to do most of their own college application and admissions "stuff". If they are over booked, they need to start to learn that they might need to cut back. OR they need to figure out how to balance all of their interests. My kids figured out how to balance and cut back....and prioritize their obligations.</p>

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I know the admissions process has grown a life of its own during the last few years, but has anyone quit their job to help their child through the college admission process?

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<p>I read the article. I think there was a missing point. If her kid is a qualified top colleges candidates, there might have more to it. Considering lower the family income to be eligible for 'need-based' FA.</p>

<p>I read this article earlier today and said to myself this is totally nuts to leave your job to get your kid into college. Either it's to lower the income for FA or to stave off the empty nest reality, focusing full time on college applications could not possibly be helpful to one's child or self.</p>

<p>insane helicoptering! bad bad</p>

<p>My twins did their own applications, but coordinating the mailings, the taxes done on time the last day of January, the supplimentary financial aid forms, the FAFSAS, the Profiles, the music auditions and visits to multiple LAC was just a bit over the top. I coached my ex through his part in the process, his forms while keeping up with Ds busy with Ecs and part time jobs. Yes, I took some extra days off last winter, though I work less than full time. There are multiple steps in the process where a sounding board is needed, esp for two. Quit my job? No way, but it was an insanely intense time, with that on top of other obligations. Working full time would have put me over the edge for a few months in there.</p>

<p>I started a job when my daughter was a junior and I found out how much college cost.</p>

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<p>Don't think so. I played squash on a national level, which requires extreme time investment, as well as took demanding IB schedule, and applied to all the colleges I wanted with no help of any kind from my parents.</p>

<p>Many years ago I did 3 varsity sports and took 5 APs senior year and managed to fill out five applications and financial aid forms by hand, although the essays had to be generated on a manual typewriter (and I had to walk to the public library to make photocopies which was miles away uphill both ways in the snow). My kid just has to fill out a couple forms on line and hit submit!</p>

<p>We will be doing this next year but will definitely not quit our jobs. However, our son is pretty dyslexic and we will probably have him a) dictate some of his essays to us, because he finds that the least stressful mode of writing relative to pen, typing and speech recognition; b) help in identifying schools where the kids are as smart as he is but the curriculum is flexible enough for him to thrive; c) find someone to handle some of the clerical filling-in of information if there is a lot of it (don't know how much the Common App simplifies things; and d) assemble the application materials. He can do all of the steps, but they would be much more draining and would take away from substantively meaningful things he would otherwise be doing (e.g., completing his novel). We'll probably get some help on the logistical portion because we may be too busy to help ourselves. </p>

<p>We lived in Manhattan when my wife was pregnant with him and she was asked by friends if she'd put the yet unborn child on the waiting list for the right pre-schools, which was our best chance to get him to go to Harvard (these were serious, concerned friends and were not joking). Now, they'd be telling us to quite our jobs. I understand the pressure that the mother in NY is facing -- the kids are going from 6 AM to midnight with classes, homework, ECs in school, volunteer stuff, and assorted resume polishing activities so when do they have time to do 8 Tufts essays? But, what a bizarre world we live in.</p>

<p>Does anyone ever read these posts and think to themselves, "This is freaking insane?" Multiple varsity sports, scads of AP classes, music lessons/coaches, etc., running a family ragged in search of....what, exactly? Is this a healthy, balanced way to live? We were semi-sucked into that madness with daughter number one, and have vowed not to do the same with our later-born children. </p>

<p>There are ways to be sane about the process, but I don't know if those people visit College Confidential very much! I have friends and family who simply bought a few guide books, talked to their child's college counselor, visited the appropriate schools, and oversaw the application process so nothing fell between the cracks. To date, their children were accepted at about 95% of the schools to which they applied, and are enjoying spring break and senior year! These are not the "I have to be president/captain of everything, win national contests or competitions, take 15 AP classes, etc." They are good kids with solid grades who participated in a few things they loved. It all seems to be working out beautifully for them, and their family life was much less hectic during the high school years. These kids seem to know who they are and are more substantive, not simply a composite of scores, grades and achievements. I think even competitive colleges may be starting to prefer those sorts of kids, too!</p>

<p>After 18 years working at home, I am hoping to find a paying job next year to cover college expenses. There were days when the college application process felt like a full-time job, and I wondered how parents who both worked got it all done. It is very complicated, and different than anything most kids have ever done, and requires a level of maturity many students haven't achieved quite yet. My daughter had no idea where to start, but once I gave her a general overview of the process, she took it from there, for the most part.</p>

<p>Citymom- Suburban kid had daily 39mile roundtrip commute to soccer fields, which they drove on interstate..would have loved to have them on public transportation instead!! Weekday basketball games to towns 3 hours away on regular schedule, many nights of gameday included home arrivals at midnight. City, burb, or rural, student/athletes suffer huge sleep deprivation.</p>

<p>I have 2 kids in college right now. As far as I am concerned the application process is the start of the kids' realization of all aspects of getting into college as well as paying for it. If Mom and Dad do it all, how are they supposed to manage once they are in college. We as parents contributed our parts of the puzzle ie, income tax forms, fafsa, css profiles etc. As far as the search and application process that was our kids' responsibility. Sure my son would bounce ideas off of us regarding location or overall "feel" for a particular school which was expected and appreciated. </p>

<p>I can't imagine quitting a job or hiring someone to do this task for us.</p>

<p>I was fairly astonished at how time-consuming helping my daughter apply to colleges this fall turned out to be. For a different perspective, think for a moment about what the process is like if your child has been home schooled since kindergarten! She had no guidance counselor to help with anything - her father and I had to perform that function. We had no help from anyone. We had to create a transcript and a school profile, something usually done for you by your children's schools. I had to create a course description document - 16 pages - describing every course dd took during high school. She took courses from 6 different colleges and distance learning programs, and we had to have transcripts sent from every one to every college to which she applied. She needed extra tests and extra recommendations. I had to fill out all the Secondary School Report forms, the Common App Home School Supplement, and write the guidance counselor letter. All of this is on top of what parents whose kids have gone to traditional schools do.</p>

<p>It was a massive undertaking, but I would certainly do it again for the freedom and creativity this path afforded us with dd's applications (as well as her education). I also did not quit my job. I am Chief Finanacial Officer of a company I started with my husband 16 years ago, now with 45 employees - I didn't have the option to quit! If I could have, I might have been very tempted to do so, back in October when I was panicking about getting it all done. Thankfully, we are past that now and have lived to tell the tale.</p>

<p>Best of luck to all of your applicants!</p>

<p>oh, this is crazy. Parents quitting their jobs to help their children with the admissions process?? There just CAN'T be many out there doing this. Or, IMO we have REALLY gone off the deep end.
Yes, I helped my son a bit with his applications. Mostly proofing and clerical work as well as helping him set up an organizational system to start with (folders, binders, spreadsheet). Some nagging too. He applied to 8 schools and all in the middle of a very busy schedule with sports and academics. so it was quite a task. But a full time job for the parent?? Oh my. Things are really moving in the wrong direction here...</p>

<p>wow, I did not quit my job to help my kid with the admissions process. </p>

<p>However, going throught he college process with my kid was the a catalyst for me to quit my job to help other people's children with the admissions process and a few other things; I career changed and became a GC ;) and made a conscious decision to work with low income, first-gen, title I students.</p>

<p>Like many here, could not afford to and D would not have wanted the "interference".</p>

<p>I had 3 go through the process in 5 years. I made a conscious decision to stay 'part-time' in order to facilitate the visits. Originally, I thought that when the last hit HS I would return to 'full-time' work.</p>

<p>I happened not to be working full-time at that time, when I had the situation such as fauve describes. Because D#1 was that category of prime candidate (and because it was my "first" in the New World of college admissions), it was extremely fortunate that I was not working full-time. I spent a great deal of time on research, which helped enormously.</p>

<p>Not in that position now with D#2, and no, I would not "quit my job." I've also therefore had less time to review, advise, etc. It may affect her admissions results somewhat, but mostly they will be affected by factors having nothing to do with my availability & much more to do with the level of competition & her test scores.</p>

<p>I got no help with college admissions. Granted I only applied to 4 schools, but I arranged visits to at least 8, plus interviews. My parents did not fill out forms, or even proofread essays.
I'm also not a "top" student, no APs, but I am in several honors classes and had straight As 1st semester. I'm the captain of my team which practices 3 hours a day for three days. The other days we don't have practice, we had halftime performances, competitions, shows, parades, fundraisers... Plus my part-time job. Was it hard? Yes. Did I need to have my mom do it for me? Absolutely not. Even if I did ask her to help, it wouldn't have taken up so much time that she would've quit her job. That's just stupid, IMHO.</p>

<p>I nagged... a LOT. That's got to be worth something! LOL </p>

<p>I never proofed essays and did nothing involving the actual applications except nag and take her to the post office to mail them. </p>

<p>I did research schools a LOT-- not just for academics and how well they match her but for financial matches. I did take her to visit. I did read a lot about what colleges are looking for (including reading here) and pass along the info. I did keep track of what colleges were visiting her school and nag her to go to the presentation. (She missed a good half of them because they always met during the same class!) </p>

<p>I also spent a lot of time researching scholarships and organizing them. That was/ is way more time consuming than the actual college applications. I did clerical work for them-- print them out, on one or two fill out the info part and leave the essays for her, hand them to her. She really, really hated doing most of the scholarship applications. And I did all of the financial aid paperwork-- which was actually a pain-- but it all seems to have paid off.</p>