Would someone please edit my UC personal statement Part 1?!!

College Essays
1

<p>Please edit for structure, grammar, punctuation, and tell me if it is an effective essay. I really need to improve my essay. It is not good at all in my opinion. I was considering to rewrite it, but I don't think there is enough time. The UC personal statement is supposed to be personal..but my essay topic is not even personal. I really need some help!
Thanks! </p>

<p>Here is the UC prompt:
Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.</p>

2

<p>Sure, I'll read yours. I'm almost done with mine as well. Do you want to exchange?</p>

3

<p>sure! that's a great idea. I'll love to read yours.</p>

4

<p>I will edit yours and give you feedback if you'd like!</p>

5

<p>sure...you can send it over</p>

6

<p>I can read urs and give feedback.</p>