<p>Well, I think initially a lot of it was due to her not thinking I’d be capable of taking care of myself in a foreign country, but now, I don’t really know. </p>
<p>It could be a guilt trip because I’m all she has and it’d be hard for her (and me) for us to be apart, but I think she really is scared about paying the bills. My grandmother has had to help us on and off, and my mom feels terrible for that. She’s a very proud woman. And she also hates to ask for my help, but because she finally mentioned that she needs me to help out, I think the entire financial situation is truly getting bad, thus making me wonder if the 8k for abroad should be spent keeping her out of debt.</p>
<p>I’m still confused. Can you say what your total costs would be (loans+out of pocket) including flights and housing and stuff?</p>
<p>If I go to France, for the semester I will need to find $xxx
If I stay here, for the semester I will need to find $yyy</p>
<p>?</p>
<p>Personally I tend to think that study abroad tends to be an overpriced vacation. So why not take a real vacation to Quebec? For a couple of thousand bucks you could easily get to rural Quebec and rent an apartment for a month.</p>
<p>I’m sure that it would enhance my life greatly to take the Grand Tour of Europe or to explore the South Pacific but you know what? We can’t afford it.</p>
<p>This seems like the ultimate First World problem. “I really, really want to go to France right now but it’s a financial hardship. Should I go anyway?”.</p>
<p>I understand disappointment, I really do. But this is not “sacrificing your dream”, it’s delaying it. And it most definitely will not be at the “cost of your wellbeing”.</p>
<p>“You can do X, Y and Z to pay for <em>your</em> college education at the cost of <em>your well-being</em>?? I don’t know your mom, or your family. But it sounds like she went into this college journey with the best of intentions of helping you out as much as she can. But life happens. Semesters abroad, membership in professional sororities…things like that are extras”</p>
<p>Keepingitlight, OP says that her mother has not paid for any of her college. She manages it herself through grants, loans, scholarships and work.</p>
<p>It sounds like her dilemna is whether to </p>
<p>A. Potentially borrow a bit more money ($4000 or so) to study abroad for a semester and realize her own dreams.</p>
<p>B. Glean money from her Pell Grant (meant for her education costs), live at home and commute, and divert money saved to her mom to help her mom out.</p>
<p>I admire you wanting to help your mom, OP, and I’m so sorry for your loss. However, you are not responsible for your mom, and the Pell Grant is for YOU to go to school with.</p>
<p>I’m really sorry. I don’t have the official spreadsheets filled out from both the study abroad and financial aid offices (still in the midst of applying and getting approved through the program, which is outside of my school), so I’ve been trying to calculate it myself from what people that went last year told me and what the program says. </p>
<p>The cost for the program last year was around 15k, but tuition is going up, so it’ll be around 16k.</p>
<p>16 credits will cost $6600 next school year, so the rest (10k or so) is all room and board, insurance, etc in France. Pell can contribute about 2k, so that’s about 8k left. I can most likely contribute 5.5k by January, (just went through some rough estimates, could actually be more depending on what I make) so there’s maybe 2.5k of program fees to cover and then spending money. (maybe 2k? I have no idea yet. Just trying to get there) </p>
<p>So, with this rough estimate, I’d say I need to either make or borrow 5 more thousand dollars. </p>
<p>If I stayed home, I’d have to pay about 2.5k, which I’d be able to cover. </p>
<p>This is where I’m getting my numbers from, so i hope this helps.</p>
<p>JHS, I don’t think you are correct in assuming that the advice would be different if the plan were engineering. The fact that it’s French and Rhetoric just means a reality check- fewer fully funded PhD spots. So if we’re talking about the current undergrad plan PLUS debt for a Master’s program-- put it on the table now. If the OP’s advisor’s think he/she is a strong candidate for a fully funded doctorate-- that’s a fact not now in evidence. So the discipline is relevant because in some fields a Master’s degree isn’t necessary- or is free- and in others it’s necessary but frequently not free.</p>
<p>And I still maintain that getting someone to pay you to live in France for a year to teach English is a better financial deal then taking out loans to finance a study abroad program- if, all things being equal- the future financing to complete the BA looks sort of iffy as it seems to be here.</p>
<p>Okay, as far as immediate actions go, should I continue with the application process (costs $250) and then see where I am on December? </p>
<p>If things gets better, then it’d be fine, but if even by then I know it can’t work, I can just back out? (someone else did that last year. You just lose the $250 since they don’t bill you for the program till January) </p>
<p>This seems to be a situational choice based on how much money I can save and what my mom can do.</p>
<p>I’d kiss my mom on the cheek, tell her I love her very much and I’ll email every day and skype once a week, and that I’ll see her in 4 months. I’d borrow the $5000 and have a fantastic experience. But that’s just me, OP. You have to follow your heart.</p>
<p>Sounds like you’re just worried about leaving your mom alone to fend for herself, especially after the loss of your dad. Just keep reminding her that it’s only for a few months out of both of your lives.</p>
<p>harvestmoon, when you say “what my mom can do” - are you specifically talking about what your mom can do for herself? i.e. get another part time job, pick up some extra hours, etc.</p>
<p>Or did I miss something and you’re hoping she’ll contribute to your trip or to funding of your education?</p>
<p>I meant what she can do in that if she can get another job, pick up another one, etc. So basically, if she can end up being able to handle things better down the road</p>
<p>I don’t know anyone who has been paid to live in France for a year to teach English without having pretty good French. The market isn’t the same as in China or Korea. And supporting yourself in France on what you can make teaching English, not to mention getting there and back, is no lay-down. Putting those issues aside, maybe blossom is right – but the OP should do it now, not wait until after she finishes college. </p>
<p>I go back to the core problem – she wants to study French, and she doesn’t know French well enough to do that at a meaningful level yet. If she wants to study French at a meaningful level in college, she needs to learn more of it now, not three years from now. She can’t do that with a month’s vacation in Quebec. Frankly, it will be a challenge to “pick it up” while teaching English enough to pay rent, but it’s at least theoretically possible to do.</p>
<p>I’m sorry…it seems I misinterpreted the situation. I read it as Mom was originally intending to pay for next year’s expenses (summer class, books, and the part that’s not covered for my fall housing next year) and that the OP was going to have to redirect $ saved for the abroad program to cover those costs.</p>
<p>I agree with JHS, that if she’s a French major, she should be developing fluency now. It takes a good three months of immersion in my experience (done it for two different languages) to really get to that point. She might be able to take a year off and be an au pair, but that’s pretty iffy too. This doesn’t seem like a plan that’s going to cast her deep into debt. I don’t think it’s a college student’s job to support their parents.</p>
<p>I’m unclear about Grandmother’s role in all this. She’s agreed to give you some money to help out with this. Your mother is too proud to ask her for help but if fine with leaning on you?</p>
<p>I think you should go, and not be guilt ridden while there. I’d sit down with Grandmother and Mom and figure out the finances to this, and what Mom’s objections are. Financial is one thing, but if it’s just her fear of the empty nest–that’s not fair to you.</p>
<p>I’m not sure if this counts for anything, but specifically, I’d really like to improve my French speaking skills while abroad (Well, I guess that’s pretty obvious). My writing and reading skills surpassed my speaking skills years ago, and by being immersed in the language, as you all have pointed out, I feel that it can better fill in this gap that I have. I can get the credits I could get at my school yet do, in my opinion, a lot better at them since I’d be immersed. Honestly, sometimes I feel like there’s something wrong with me because I can’t randomly blurt things out with the same accuracy and fluency as I can jot them down. I studied French in high school as well, and whereas my writing improved leaps and bounds, I’m just inching along with my speaking, and I’m worried about the upper-level French classes. </p>
<p>And since I’m keeping both French and writing and rhet. career options open, I’d really like to learn French the right way by living it, though I understand that not everyone goes abroad to do that. But that’s just kind of where I’m coming from. </p>
<p>This is an unusual question on CC, where we are usually talking about how much of their money (if any) parents should divert to their kids’ education. Here, the question is whether the kid should divert some of her education money to support her mother. I think you shouldn’t. Your mother may need help for years and years, and if you compromise your education now that may impact on your ability to help her later. Unless she’s going to be destitute if you follow your plan, I think you should go ahead. Additional note: you are going to have to begin the separation process from her sooner or later, and sooner is probably better.</p>
<p>Many colleges sponsor study abroad programs that are shorter than a full semester, and therefore much cheaper. For example, you might do a 3 week program over winter break, that may or may not involve college credit.</p>