Surprised they will have enough time off to get married. Maybe they will skip part of the receptions to work. 
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I’m not dismissing anything. My kids were educated to thank people for their gifts. To write thank you notes or at least acknowledge the gift in a timely manner.
What I said is that thank you notes aren’t that important to me. I’m not worried about me getting a note.
Not that I don’t understand that to other people, it is important.
I think I’m going to bow out of this conversation
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I think it’s a trend, we taught them to write thank you notes, but society seems to be going the other way. I’m not getting upset over anything, I only hurt myself when I do. Nobody gives a hoot, so why should I do it.
If I am singing, that will be my gift. Otherwise, I’ll typically give them something commensurate with their place in my life. Usually, oh, $50-$200, and tons of hugs and gregariousness.
Recently, a cousin was married in Texas. I couldn’t make it to the wedding, so instead of sending cash in the mail I sent them cheesesteaks from Joe’s in Philadelphia.
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A few decades ago, I attended a family friend’s child’s wedding (300-400 people). Their invitation stated clearly “No presents. Your presence will be our best gift.”
Well, I don’t know why it didn’t work but half the people went with gifts, some with cards in envelopes stuffed with cash, and the bride stood in the receiving area the whole time with her hands behind her back, refusing to accept any cards. There was no table for the boxed gifts either — no idea what they did with those gifts.
There was a lot of chatter at the reception about this newfangled idea of no gifts that most of the invitees didn’t like.
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They’ve been a couple for more than 6 years…couldn’t find time to get married. 
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“ small amount of additional effort” for written thank you notes …. x50 (or sometimes x100) is a lot of work for a busy young couple. It’s nice to get a written thank you note, but really an email (or better yet a phone call) would be fine too.
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I will be content when my grown up kids just acknowledge that a package has arrived.
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With as many stolen packages and misdeliveries that I have seen, from USPS, “nope, we delivered it” when nothing was in the box, to Fedex: “driver says he delivered it” = proof of delivery, when I was home and neighbors saw him not stop, to all the people who post on NextDoor that they were outside at home and nothing came, but USPS says their item was delivered…I now track all packages and contact the recipient to ensure delivery the same day.
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It’s interesting how people still give gifts, even when no gifts are requested. If the bride and groom say “no gifts,” then don’t give a gift! Why is that hard to figure out? You save money that way! It’s not offensive to request “no gifts.”
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I have gone to a couple weddings that were no gifts to the couple but they suggested contributions to specific charities.
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And now for a more literal “pay your plate” story…
https://daily.lessonslearnedinlife.com/reddit-bride-asks-each-guest-to-pay-75-for-their-dinner-plate-at-her-wedding?fbclid=IwAR0PhyhGdQt2UVeqPBMy7iG89yT6nHaMmMP59R4dQk9JWC41_HDdr4kk3sA
Oh my goodness! Tacky!
As another said on this thread about throwing a party - not expecting guests to pay for it!
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And I bet there will be no thank you note for the $75/plate charge. I mean, restaurants don’t send thank you notes when you pay for your food, so why should the happy couple?
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Thus far, have never had events like this. When it’s everyone pay your own (like reunions or similar gatherings) it is so stated up front and everyone plans accordingly. Getting an invoice after an rsvp is wrong if it wasn’t originally stated as all people are issuing for themselves (and guests at $—— apiece). I think it’s much better to have a simpler affair than trying to get “guests” to pay for the pleasure of attending YOUR big event. This is especially so when travel may be involved as well as taking vacation days, etc.
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We have attended several weddings where no gifts were requested. Some couples suggested charity donations and that is what we did. In one case, no suggestion was made, and it was a pricey but lovely destination wedding. About 9 months later, I visited the couple and took them a nice inlaid cutting board and a gift card to Whole Foods…and a bottle of really nice wine.
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I recently was invited to a 90th birthday party. A lovely lunch at a nice place. The invitation said absolutely no gifts, so I did not bring anything. I was surprised at how many people did bring gifts. I did bring her a card where I wrote her a note.
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I don’t like it when people bring gifts to an event when the invitation specifies “no gifts.” It can make other people feel bad! I am also thinking that if I live to have a 90th birthday party, I will probably not want a bunch of new objects to find spots in the house for, no matter how nice they are! I know a few couples who were a bit older or on second marriages who specified “no gifts” and meant it…I am sure there were a couple of really close friends who gave some kind of memento to mark the occasion but not in front of everyone else.
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I definitely understand older folks saying no gifts, especially for birthdays. H is having a milestone bday party and we clearly stated no gifts and hope people do not gift. For weddings, I try to follow what the couple requests.
It can get confusing if it says “no gifts” but they are accepting gifts at at table and then I had to hurriedly make a card and check as we entered. Pretty much everyone in attendance brought an envelope or gift so the family clearly did NOT mean no gifts.
On the other hand, went to another “no gifts” party and host/guest of honor was very upset by those who brought gifts anyway. It’s complicated!
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Yes, I felt awkward at first when I saw all the gifts that people had brought. If I had something sentimental to give, like a collage of pictures of the birthday “girl”, I would have done that. That would be the only way that I would have “broken” the no gift request.