Wellesley College: is it worth it?

Parents Forum
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<p>Somewhat off topic, but…couldn’t let these very unfair comments go about GC’s:</p>

<p>"They are ATM’s for transcripts. You ask them to dispense a transcript, they dispense it – next? Sorry, I don’t mean that disrespectfully, but that’s what they are IME. "</p>

<p>Perhaps that’s what they are in YOUR school district. In our Public school district they are involved with the list, and…based on a set of academic and qualitative criteria…the GC’s make suggestions – mostly based on kids they have known with similar interests and academics. They are not perfect, and some families still feel the need to hire private counselors…but they were spot-on and very helpful with my kids.</p>

<p>They would have noticed a kid with all reaches and service academies.</p>

102

<p>Maybe I am a helicopter mom, but I too cannot fathom how a HS kid submitted 14 apps, paid the app fees, paid to have SAT/ACT scores sent, got LORs from congressmen, etc for the SA’s, submitted FAFSA/CSS profiles, etc without a parent having a CLUE about any of this. Did you visit any schools? Attend any local presentations?? Sorry- I can’t get my head around this. And the dichotomy of the SAs vs Wellesley?? Seems a bit too far fetched.</p>

103

<p>You’re right, 2boysima - that’s where they are in my school district. I am aware that in private schools and some of the better public schools they play a larger role.</p>

<p>It seems like in this case, it’s closing the barn door after the horse is gone to poke at the GC not noticing. (And perhaps she did, and offered advice, and the D didn’t take it. After all, the D appeared to have applied to a bunch of schools without the parental involvement.)</p>

104

<p>Pizza, you are right that it is late in the game for the mom to be suggesting merit schools- especially if the D’s primary criteria was “a school that sets me apart”. But I’ve known too many kids who ended up getting dragged off to their state flagship (which I’m assuming is the case with Indiana) with their jaw tight and their arms folded, convinced that they will have a terrible experience which indeed, turns out to be the case. And then the spiral downwards begins. A crappy semester at a school this kid doesn’t want to attend does not open up her options- it starts to close them off. The parents aren’t going to become more affluent six months from now; the capital gains taxes aren’t going away in 2014 (although if the market tumbles, guess what- everything is worth less but fewer taxes to pay, now there’s a silver lining!), etc.</p>

<p>So if this were my niece or a neighbor, I’d think that the most helpful thing to do was to try and find a compromise. Something less costly out of pocket than W, but something that seems more exotic and boundary expanding than Indiana.</p>

105

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<p>In my experience, the kids who get the best merit at such places are HPY candidates. This student is not. Remember, OP’s D is getting $11,700/year assistance to attend Wellesley. To get a better “deal,” she would probably need the top merit packages. Is such a crap shoot worth a gap year? </p>

<p>I would never expect the GC at my public to “sign off” on anyone’s list. He met with my kids to discuss the decision and what are the appropriate schools to apply to. It was up to them to take or leave the advice. He was super helpful and gave both my kids, who had very different academic needs very good advice. If the GC was involved with this student, what’s wrong with an excellent student who had SAs, IU, and 11 reaches? They can’t all be HYPS.</p>

106

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<p>I happen to be a saver by inclination myself…with my parents/extended family feeling I took it too far regarding myself in light of the dumpy first apartment I rented or the rice and beans type budget meals I treated myself to right after undergrad.* </p>

<p>However, there’s a gulf of difference between being a saver who knows when to pay more for good value and savers who obsess so much about the price that they overlook value and end up paying more later in the form of a shoddier product or lost future opportunities. </p>

<ul>
<li>Graduated debt free from college so college/other loan debt wasn’t the motivation to live like that in my case.</li>
</ul>

107

<p>11 reaches and no matches? Not that it matters now moving forwards… but given the crap shoot nature of the SA’s, I’m just not sure this was the most well-thought out strategy. We don’t know the kids stats- but I’ve seen two successful applications of USAFA candidates. Neither would have been competitive at Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton. Both were “matchy” for CMU, RPI, Rochester; one was "reachy matchy’ for JHU/Northwestern/ Duke, the other “reachy matchy” for Emory/Vandy/Georgetown.</p>

<p>So without knowing stats or the school list it is hard to make recommendations… but I’d be gobsmacked if a young woman with admission to the Academy would not be a candidate for significant merit aid-- perhaps out of her own geographic region, or perhaps a school a bit off the beaten track as far as her HS goes, but potentially offering much more of what she wants than Indiana.</p>

108

<p>Wellesley is a fabulous college. This family needs to decide if they can afford the almost $50,000 per year they will need to pay out of pocket (student got $11,000 in aid). If they can, fine. If they cannot, then they need a plan B.</p>

<p>I agree with the posters upstream who say that the parents need to get on the same page with regard to this young lady’s college education and the costs. Right now, it appears that mom feels,this will financially strap the family but dad thinks its all fine.the parents need to figure out what their united front will be. And they need to present it. </p>

<p>Otherwise, everytime mom says no, this kid is going to ask dad.</p>

109

<p>Bingo, thumper. In which case, even if mom comes up with “look, here are half a dozen interesting merit-aid schools” – the daughter will still reject them, because dad will “let” her go to Wellesley anyway, and the mom will still stew. </p>

<p>I think the lack of agreement between mom / dad as to what opportunities are worth paying what for is a bigger problem. It seems that mom is far more conservative than dad. I don’t know their finances, so who am I to say - maybe mom is correct and prudent and dad throws money around like a drunken sailor. Or, maybe mom is a tightwad and dad is happy to tighten his belt for a wonderful opportunity for his daughter. Who knows? But they need to be unified first and foremost.</p>

110

<p>My D was accepted at Wellesley. </p>

<p>That said, she was wait listed at Scripps, Davidson, and Rice, and denied at Harvard, Stanford, and Pomona. She did not apply anywhere early due to the need to compare financial aid and no clear first choice. (In retrospect that may have been a mistake.)</p>

<p>34 ACT with SATs and SAT achievement scores to match. 4.0 UWGPA, all core classes were Honors or AP when available. Significant investment in an EC and Community Service. 2 Teachers who loved her. Essays that were well written and reflected who she is and what she has to offer. Requested interviews and took all that were offered.</p>

<p>The chances of the OP’s D getting significant merit aid at a top LAC seem iffy to me. The competition is just so tough. My D applied got merit offers from Occidental, U of Redlands, and Lewis and Clark, but no more than $20,000 per year at any of them.</p>

<p>It might be that a gap year with a different application strategy would pay off. Or it might not. I wouldn’t let $30,000 in student loans hold back going to Wellesley this fall. I have two kids who have both paid off close to $20,000 in less than 5 years post grad. These parents allowed application to MANY colleges that are only need based aid, I assume thinking they would pay. I say write the check to Wellesley for this kid.</p>

111

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<p>I think that OP’s D did not want her parents or mom to know where she applied. In order to apply to those reach schools, she had to get her parents’ financial info. It is weird that a child would ask for these info without telling her parents where she intends to apply. To me, this is a big red flag. Can you imagine that a future air force officer would act on her own without the permission from her commanding officer? At best, it is a selfish act which should not be encouraged.</p>

<p>DS3 gave up Duke’s generous FA and chose to go to IU on full ride. IU has quite a few high caliber students because of the school’s merit award policy. As a matter of fact, I only need to spend $80K total for three kids to get their degrees from IU. I am very grateful for that. My kids will have plenty left in their educational funds to go to professional schools. It is ludicrous to suggest a gap year for OP’s D. There is no guarantee that she can get into a better and cheaper school. And, IU may change their merit award policy and the direct admit policy for the Kelley school of business (ranked around 20) for next year. </p>

<p>For reference, my colleague spent $600K to pay for his D’s pre-med/medical school expense + $100 K of wedding. Wait until what happens next.</p>

112

<p>Our D gave up very close to a full-ride at state flagship to go to Wellesley. She was offered a lot of merit money at some other schools. Wellesley was very competitive with FA. Walking away from USAFA is a big decision, but if you don’t really love it, a military academy is not the right place for you. Nine years in uniform is not something to take lightly - we are not talking about a three-year hitch.</p>

<p>Sounds like OP’s D has made her decision.</p>

113

<p>OP, who are you more mad at --</p>

<ul>
<li>Your D for turning down the USAFA free ride (such as it is) for W …</li>
<li>Or your H for “approving” her decision without making sure the two of you were on the same page financially?</li>
</ul>

114

<p>I can’t figure out how to put in the quote from someone’s post. Someone asked what we knew along with our daughter’s stats. On SAT she had 650 CR, 700 on Math, and 730 Writing. She had a 4.18 in an all honors/AP load. She had been sophomore class president, class officer 3 years, member of 4-5 clubs, 2 year volleyball player, 3 year band member, GAPP student to Germany, selected to attend Holy Cross leadership training, 3 year lacrosse player, Lacrosse Academic All-American, We the People Team member (their team placed 5th in the nation in DC in April, NHS, etc, etc…3 mission trips, etc.</p>

<p>This is not a step-parent thing. We are definitely not on the same page. Yes, we did know about the academies…I went with her to two of the interviews. Husband took her to West Point and AFA. We knew about IU and maybe 3 other schools. She did not get into Notre Dame, Cornell, Dartmouth, BC, Georgetown, Vanderbilt, UNC, Got into IU, Wait listed at Wake, UChicago, and Wellesley. I took her to Wellesley after she was wait listed. Over the past year I took her to Georgetown, Wake, UNC, and Duke, along with ND. We just did not know all of the schools she applied to until after she had applied. She did not have our financial info…my husband filed FASFA forms after she gave us the list in mid January. </p>

<p>Yes, we have issues. Our daughter is fiercely independent which is why I had reservations about her going to AFA. Applying to Wellesley was just a bit of a game to her…to see what colleges she could get into. She had not even visited the school before she applied.</p>

<p>We still have deposit money on IU, but at this point, I guess we are doing Wellesley…as expensive as it is. I just hope it is worth it.</p>

115

<p>I don’t know either you or your daughter, but I wish you all the best of luck! Hope it all works out for you :)</p>

116

<p>Oh…and let me say that husband was a veteran of the Army and had attended West Point Prep School and turned down an appointment to West Point, electing to get his degree at Ohio State and serving 2 years more of inactive duty. As you can read between the lines, he was the one encouraging her to go to the academies.</p>

117

<p>

I cannot help but fundamentally disagree with this. At its core, such an analysis always results in “Spend the money!” because it is fundamentally flawed: you have to weigh what else you or she could spend money on, and how unhappy debt makes either or both of you.</p>

<p>To use an extreme example, you can’t put a dollar figure on the joy and enlightenment of travelling the world, but if you blew the rent money on that, and, upon your return, got evicted and had your car repossessed, I can guarantee that you would have wanted to attach a very specific dollar value to the “invaluable” nature of such a trip. </p>

<p>Every. Single. Dollar. that your D spends at Wellesley will not be spent elsewhere - not on graduate school, a new car when she graduates, a down payment on a place to live. Neither will it be saved, packed away safely in a bank as a hedge against a sudden expense. So yes, there is a dollar value that you can, and should, put on the amazing amazingness of a private LAC education.</p>

118

<p>Thank you for,clarifying what you knew…and didn’t know. By January, you knew it all. </p>

<p>As I’ve said…Wellesley is a terrific school. </p>

<p>Now…either start saving for law school. Or let your daughter know ASAP that grad school will be on her dime.</p>

119

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<p>And now you know . . . the REST of the story.</p>

<p>Summing up what I think I’ve learned here, your daughter is bright, energetic, and willing to take on challenges. She works hard to please her parents (at least dad), but also can be willful, headstrong, and maybe a wee bit overconfident about her abilities.</p>

<p>I’m beginning to understand what Wellesley saw in her. </p>

<p>Is Wellesley worth it? We’ll never know. You may never be entirely sure. But, right now, this is her dream, and she sounds like a kid who will work hard to maximize the opportunities there and MAKE it worthwhile. </p>

<p>And, if she’s still interested in politics in four years, that’s when she can go stamp her ticket into local political circles at IU Law. In my experience, a lot of good local government officials have the tony college/flagship law school combo on their resumes.</p>

120

<p>Slightly off topic but I see your D plays lacrosse - tell her to try out for the team!!!</p>