<p>So glad we are done with this part of parenting. Good luck! Might have missed this point but are there other children to consider? And what has the daughter agreed to or suggested that she do to help this situation? Is she working this summer to pay for personal expenses etc? Someone mentioned “dream school” which I’m not sure I buy based on her pattern of applying. But if it is her dream that what will she do to make this happen?</p>
<p>OP, I think W will be fabulous for your D. </p>
<p>You have my sympathies on the conflict with H: my H thought that I was cutting my S down when I said once that Williams was very hard to get in to and elite LACs were quirky, that the chances of getting in to H&Y were slim for almost anyone, and pushed for a safety and a couple of low matches on his list. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to SAY it. :rolleyes: What can you do: parents can be as weird about college admissions and aspirations as HS kids.</p>
<p>OP, is your D really interested in the Wellesley experience, or just in going there because it’s her most prestigious acceptance that’s not the USAFA? </p>
<p>So she could attend IU for almost free tuition because of a scholarship? So that would make her total cost <$10,000/year? And Wellesley is how much (minus the $11700 they took off the price for you, which I assume is a need-based grant)? Something like $47,000/year? Does the Wellesley pricetag make sense? </p>
<p>Do you have other children in college or who will be in college? If you have another child in college, do they go to a public or private university? If they go to a public university, is it fair to spend so much money on a younger sib so that they can satisfy their (and dad’s) desire for prestige? If you have a younger child or children, is it fair to put out all that money for Wellesley when you won’t be able to do that for the younger sib or sibs? </p>
<p>Are you sacrificing funds for retirement for this prestigious college experience for D? (I hope not.)</p>
<p>Please, the difference between IU and Wellesley is not simply a matter of prestige. Others have asked about siblings. The OP has demurred. Obviously either that is not a factor or she doesn’t wish to discuss it.</p>
<p>We have a daughter 3 years older and she is going to be a senior in the Kelley School of Business at Indiana University. She is majoring in marketing with a minor in Spanish and a minor in Travel and Tourism. She has an internship right now with Altria in Louisville, which is a Fortune 500 company that is the parent company of Phillip Morris and Kraft. She is being paid $20 per hour, plus housing and gas. By August 9, they will tell her if they will offer her a full time job when she graduates in May. If so, that job will pay $69,000 to start with a company car. So, yes, we are paying for another daughter in college and just got done paying 16 years worth of Catholic School tuition.</p>
<p>D#2, never really cared about going to Wellesley. She saw this as a way out of the Air Force Academy, because in her mind, IU was not an acceptable out. She has not said this but if Wellesley would not have come through with admission off of the wait list, she would have gone to AFA because of the prestige factor. She wasn’t even educated on what the Wellesley experience really is until she was wait listed and then her knowledge was limited. She did not apply to any other schools that were as small as Wellesley.</p>
<p>“She has not said this but if Wellesley would not have come through with admission off of the wait list, she would have gone to AFA because of the prestige factor.”</p>
<p>If you believe that this is true, do encourage her to consider a gap year. Check around for some attractive, nifty gap activities and see if she bites.</p>
<p>I know a young woman who was encouraged by her mother to choose the most prestigious college that accepted her, and now is heading into her fourth miserable year there this fall. Yes she will have an Ivy diploma, but the only semester she enjoyed was the semester abroad. She hates her school and is sticking it out because of the name and because she isn’t brave enough to tell her mom that she hates it there and has from day one. Not quite your daughter’s case, but if she’s miserable at Wellesley, what is her transfer-out plan? And will you back her up if she wants out?</p>
<p>Unfortunately, if you and your husband did not have a discussion with your younger daughter about the amount you would pay (for instance , we will pay a comparable cost to sister’s education), you may have to let her go where she wants to go. I think you have set yourself up for a lot of resentment related to the cost of her education. But since you did not restrict her to applying to Wellesley in the first place, you are probably stuck-unless your daughter is willing to consider a gap year and reapply to schools that could give her merit aid. But if you have already let her commit to Wellesley, you just may have to bite the bullet and send her off to Wellesley . Whatever you do, try to stay positive about her final choice.</p>
<p>Even if she didn’t know much about Wellesley going in, based on your description of her, I think she’ll love it. She will have to work hard academically, but it sounds as if she relishes a challenge.</p>
<p>Note that Wellesley is relatively small, but it is part of the Greater Boston student community, which numbers a couple hundred thousand, and has active cross-registration with several schools, notably MIT. So it is not the same thing as attending a 2,000-person LAC in rural Ohio, Vermont, or Indiana.</p>
<p>Congratulations on the successes of your older D. I hope the job works out for her.</p>
<p>Also be aware, your EFC is split this year with another child in school. You will likely get no aid next year. </p>
<p>Sevmom - in my experience, it is fine to apply broadly and even to schools with an expensive price tag, as long as you set up the budget beforehand and temper enthusiasm until after financial aid offers come.</p>
<p>I think we are at the place where we have to let her choose this option and go and bite the bullet. Around here (the midwest) we don’t talk much about gap years and what to do if you do one. I haven’t heard of anyone doing this here, but I like the idea.</p>
<p>I do not think she will stay at Wellesley if she doesn’t like it because she knows it is costing a boatload of money. This entire situation is unfortunate for everyone…the winner is her…no doubt about that. And, thank you for the kind words about the older daughter. I cannot say enough about the Kelley School of Business.</p>
<p>@GTalum: I have to say that your comment scares me. I assumed this $11,700 was an annual amount off of the tuition. Great. This whole situation is going to cost even more money! It is a need based grant</p>
<p>She should have some skin in this game. She should contribute financially, Is she working this summer?</p>
<p>Run the Net Price Calculator at the Wellesley website to get an estimate of the aid after D1 graduates. Then have a heart-to-heart with D2 and your husband about the money. You need a plan that both parents can agree on.</p>
<p>As for Gap Years, I don’t know where you are, but my farm-country relatives in Iowa know about them! If your daughter needs to take one, she may start a trend in your community. She can sell it as “I had so many great options, I couldn’t decide, so I chose to make an extended mission trip while I thought everything through.”</p>
<p>GTalum, I do understand that many kids apply to a broad range of schools and then weigh the finances. The problem here is that the daughter seems to have been allowed to apply to Wellesley with no prior discussion of the financial aspect of that of all.</p>
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<p>This is a good idea. Another thing to keep in mind is that Wellesley is one of the very few schools that guarantees to meet need of all domestic students anew each year, even if they weren’t eligible or didn’t apply for financial aid in a previous year. So if there is a job loss or financial reversal in the family, Wellesley will try to keep the student there.</p>
<p>I don’t believe Wellesley packages direct loans in their need based aid…but your daughter can still take one for this year, and subsequent years if needed.</p>
<p>And you I will have NO costs for your older daughter at all…none. That money can be diverted to this daughter in subsequent years.</p>
<p>Do you feel okay about spending so much more on your younger D’s education than you did on your older D? Did your H set different parameters for your older D’s college search than he did (or apparently did not) for this D? </p>
<p>Despite Consolation’s chiding of me that the difference between W and IU is not prestige, it seems to me that it is the exactly that (perceived prestige) factor that makes your D want to go there. OP, what do you think? </p>
<p>Despite the very vocal “Wellesley or bust” contingent on this thread (who are so convinced that your D must go there, even though they don’t know her at all), is this really a place that your D will feel comfortable? I am looking at the other places that she applied, and see quite a difference. W is also going to be quite different from the co-ed Catholic high school that she attended, yes?</p>
<p>Oh, come on. You don’t think there are girls from Catholic high schools at Wellesley??</p>
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<p>I did not get this. The OP clearly doesn’t want her D to go to Wellesley; she has misgivings about the expense and seems not to want her D to be out of the Midwest or in an environment that is not primarily conservative. I 'm not sure that is what the D wants, as she hasn’t chimed in. </p>
<p>I don’t see a bunch of people telling the OP her D has to go to Wellesley. However, there are several saying that she shouldn’t force her D to go to the USAFA just because it’s free, or Indiana just because it’s cheap.</p>
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<p>No one forced the D to apply to Wellesley, and indeed, the “prestige” factor that it may have in a small town in Indiana isn’t particularly high (which doesn’t mean that it’s not prestigious – it just means that Jane Average in the town isn’t oohing and aahing over it). I’m not trying to be a W apologist but sheesh, W is about as good as it gets.</p>