<p>I need your opinions to help me to make the right decision...</p>
<p>I am an incoming freshman who is currently planning on going to TCU. Lately, though, I have been feeling a little bit guilty because of the large amount of money I am making my family pay. I took four college classes this summer and plan on taking as much as possible at my local community college to transfer over in order to graduate a year early to save a year's worth of tuition and my parents' money. </p>
<p>I know it is really late to be second guessing... I mean, move-in day at TCU is August 11. I feel that I may be making the wrong decision attending TCU and should go to my local community college for a year. </p>
<p>When I applied for colleges, I was really set on going to UT Austin. I wasn't in the automatic acceptance range so I was ultimately given the CAP Program. I felt like that could not be an option for me so I decided to commit to TCU (my second choice school only because it is super and way too expensive for me). </p>
<p>I was offered little aid from TCU and my parents kept telling me that they would be able to handle the money so I kind of overlooked that matter. </p>
<p>I guess it just hit me that I am being really selfish towards them and my family. We just don't have the money to attend a school and pay $45K a year on an education, especially since I have two bright and intelligent siblings right around the corner from me. </p>
<p>My question is that should I go to community college for a year or stick to TCU? I don't know if it is normal to second guess yourself at this time or if I am really making a wrong and selfish choice? If I were to attend a community college, I would plan on applying to UT Austin and TCU in the spring for the fall 2013 semester. I would have over 30 hours by the end of the first semester due to AP and the courses I took this summer. I guess I would then just make my decision to attend TCU or UT Austin if I were accepted. I would hope that I would be offered more money from TCU and that I would be accepted to UT. </p>
<p>I just don't know what todo. Go to TCU, or go to community college for a year and transfer the next, either to UT or TCU. </p>
<p>I like the schools equally, by the way, and sorry this is do long :(</p>
<p>I have no idea how difficult it is to be admitted as a transfer student to either Austin or TCU. I also don’t know what merit aid you might be eligible for as a transfer student. Usually, merit aid is reserved for incoming freshman. So, if I were you, I’d contact both schools and ask. If transferring into TCU a year later would significantly increase the cost, then that might not be a smart move.</p>
<p>But, is it a bad idea to back out now - at the very last minute - in order to save your family $45k a year? Heck no! My guess is that your parents would be disappointed . . . because it sounds like they really do want you to have that traditional 4-year college experience. But that disappointment would have to be overshadowed by their pride at having such a responsible, selfless kid. I know if you were my kid, I’d certainly be proud of you.</p>
<p>Think about it long and hard . . . and then do what you think is right.</p>
<p>I disagree with dodgersmom. While I think it’s wonderful that you are being so considerate, and I’m sure your parents appeciate it, they are adults and would not appreciate you second guessing them. If they have decided that they value the education you are getting enough to pay for it, then trust them to know their own financial situation. They are not teen-agers - they are spending their own money.Unless they have proven themselves to be financially irresponsible in the past, I would suggest you focus on getting value for their tuition dollars. If you really want to help, get a job on campus to help pay for your out-of-pocket expenses.</p>
<p>If, on the other hand, you don’t value the educational opportunity you are getting - if it’s not right for you because it doesn’t meet your educational needs - then you should speak up. But that doesn’t sound like the issue here.</p>
<p>You need to know exactly where the money is coming from for TCU. You are old enough to be given the facts. Ask your parents. “We will make it work somehow.” is not a good enough answer. Get the details. Then you will be able to make your own best decision.</p>
<p>Agree that you have to find out whether this is something your parents can, in fact, afford. Or, if they will end up burdened by loans. Also, check whether AP credits work toward transfers. Somewhere, recently, I saw some evidence they don’t always.</p>
<p>You’re thoughtful to worry, but some of this is very normal summer jitters. See how your parents explain their plans to pay the expenses.</p>
<p>Definitely ask your parents if they will be paying from income/savings or will they be taking out loans. </p>
<p>I don’t agree that your parents will be annoyed if you “second guess” them. For all we know, the parents may be second-guessing their decision themselves now that it’s time to actually pay. </p>
<p>parents are adults but we all have seen plenty of parents believing that they can “work it out” and then can’t. And, there have been plenty of parents who 'haven’t done the math" to determine that if they spend/borrow big bucks for Child #1, then there won’t be funds for Child #2 or Child #3.</p>
<p>however, your parents may happily surprise you and say that they already have this year’s costs covered with savings, etc, and for you to go ahead and attend.</p>
<p>kaiitwyn should certainly ask her parents if they really are okay about spending the money - but they are under no obligation to impart the details of their financial status to her. She is the student and they are the adults. If they want to take on debt, that is their perogative. If they want to spend their money on child 1s education, possibly at the expense of other children, that is also their perogative. All kaiitwyn can do is express her gratitude and remind them that if this is too much of a burdon, she has other cheaper options. This is just the flip side of parents telling kids that they can’t afford certain schools - it’s not the kids’ job to second guess that decision either.</p>
<p>As a parent, I would appreciate it if my child asked if paying/borrowing for his education would negatively affect his younger siblings. It might be something that I hadn’t thought that deeply about. </p>
<p>And, if it still wasn’t going to be a problem, then at least I would know that I had raised a thoughtful child.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse another longtime poster here at CC has written about the negative long-term effects for their family that resulted from the parents over-extending themselves for child #1. You might seek advice from that person about ways to approach your parents about the money issue.</p>
<p>I think it’s very unfair of adults on cc to imply that Kaiitwyn is somehow being selfish by going to whatever school she and her parents selected - or that her parents might have forgotten that there are other children - and she needs to ‘remind’ them of this. For all we know, her parents are affluent and/or have the savings. Or are willing to carry a certain amount of debt. No kid is responsible for their parents’ values or financial decisions. She can ask what the parameters are, she can be reasonable when they ask her to compromise, she can make sure they know that she won’t be crushed if her plans have to change - but deciding if their decisions are reasonable is not within her perview, nor should she feel badly about a choice they have already made together.</p>
<p>Which adults here have said that Kaitwyn is selfish to go to TCU??</p>
<p>She’s concerned, so there’s nothing wrong with her finding out if her attendance will negatively affect family finances or younger children’s college choices. </p>
<p>And, no one is saying that the parents have “forgotten” that they have other children. However, it’s very possible that they haven’t done the math. </p>
<p>There have been several parents who’ve discovered that they didn’t get the aid they needed when 2 are attending college, and then that’s a problem. </p>
<p>Yes, Cptofthehouse has detailed the issues that resulted in her household because they got caught up with sending Child #1 to a pricey school…and how that affected the following children. I highly doubt that Cpn “forgot” that she had younger kids …lol…but everyone can be vulnerable at times to getting caught up with the excitement and forget that any loans taken will still be outstanding when the younger ones matriculate.</p>
<p>kaiiiwyn says she is 'second-guessing," is worrked about being selfish, even though “my parents kept telling me they would be able to handle the money.” </p>
<p>Instead of telling kaiiwyn to stop second-guessing or worrying about being selfish, she’s been told “You need to know exactly where the money is coming from…so you can make your own best decision.” And “you have to find out if this is something that your parents can, in fact, afford.” And that somehow it should make a difference to her if her parents are borrowing money vs. paying out of savings. All of this is irrelevent and guilt-inducing. </p>
<p>She’s leaving for college in 1 month. This is not the time for her to unilaterally to decide to go to community college instead, which is what she is proposing. If there has been a material change in her parents financial circumstances, I’m sure they will bring it up with her. Otherwise, she should head off to college with all the excitement and enthusiasm of a freshman embarking on a new chapter of her life - and with no guilt at all.</p>
<p>If your parents said they can swing it, I imagine that they would be horrified if you second-guessed them and didn’t go. My guess is that they already paid for the first semester (I did for my kid’s colleges) so the money is gone by now. Consider taking classes at a community college next year so you can transfer them and graduate a semester or a year early saving a lot of tuition that way (once you are at a college, be sure to get any summer classes pre-approved). And perhaps after the first semester, look into a work-study job so you can help to pay for things like books and entertainment.</p>