PLEASE HELP I REALLY NEED ADVICE

State Forums
1

<p>Hi everyone!</p>

<p>Okay, so I really really need some advice! I got into my dream school, my number one: UT Austin. I am a freshman here now. All my life i felt like this is where i was going to, going to fit in and going to graduate from. so so many people from my high school go here so it is cliquey and i have made only one friend in my almost two months here. my classes are fine, but i hate having so few friends when everyone around me is going out all the time with their sororities (I'm not greek). all my close friends are flourishing at their schools, and i am happy for them but i feel like they will abandon me when they have all their new friends.
basically, now i feel like maybe this was not the right choice. i feel like maybe i don't fit in as well as i expected to. what do i do ?? i am really second guessing my decision to come here. but the problem with transferring is that UT has such a great academic program- it can't be beat. but not having like any friends and having an even harder time making them is really making me not want to go here. i really need help. none of my close friends go here either so I'm just really struggling. also, my whole family went here and i wouldn't want to let them down but at the same time I'm just sick with unhappiness. </p>

<p>what should i do? should i look into transferring? tough it out? give it more time??? please someone reply to this i really really need advice.... I'm so indecisive especially with big decisions like this!!</p>

<p>thanks y'all!!!!! </p>

2

<p>Tough it out and give it more time. The large student body may seem intimidating but you are bound to meet people, especially living on or near campus. You’re going to a really good school and socially its also one of the best. Make the most out of it. Good luck. </p>

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<p>Know that you are not alone. It takes time to find those friends that will be your best friends in college. I am happy to hear your classes are fine. (Because bad grades are really hard to fix.) My suggestions are that you put aside any thoughts or research regarding transferring. Invest time in studying and keeping up with the reading in your classes. If you study in your dorm room, keep your door open to the hallway, so others feel free to pop in. Stick your head in the open doors of rooms of others and introduce yourself. Seek out people that have a similar schedule to yours - and ask if they want to go eat a meal with you. BE the friend that you are looking for. Think about those out of state kids that know absolutely no one, and then go find them.These don’t have to be your life long friends, so don’t be too selective. Just start being the friendly face on the hallway. Make sure others on your hallway have someone to go to the football games with. And make sure you go! </p>

<p>I assume you are in a dorm. Go talk to your RA and ask about any social events coming up in the dorm and then ask if you can help in any way - promote the event by posting flyers, and inviting people to attend. Go door to door with a flyer and a personal invitation. It is OK to be vulnerable too - people appreciate that - for instance - if you come from a big hs in TX, others assume you already have stuff to do and all the friends you need. It is OK to say, “Hey, come to this cheesy movie night with me, because I don’t want to look like I have no friends!” </p>

<p>Being Greek is not the be all, end all. Those freshman girls that pledged may seem all happy and always going to parties, but they will be some of the same girls whose grades tank. And that is really hard to fix.
Know that everyone has their own battles to fight. You just may not be able to see if from the outside. </p>

<p>You say that lots of kids from your HS are there. They may not have been your best friend in HS, but consider that some of them - especially those that did not pledge or have not found their “small group” yet, may also be struggling. Those HS peers of yours might love a facebook message from you that says " Hey, I know we were not close in high school, but would you like to go have dinner sometime?" </p>

<p>There are tons of different FB pages for UT students. Class of 2018. Specific majors, and others if you seek them out. </p>

<p>You will eventually gravitate towards a small group that will become your family. That might be a sorority, a service group (The TX Royals come to mind), a group around your area of study. There are so many and maybe you don’t get it right the first time. Keep looking. </p>

<p>Keep your door open, make eye contact with people and smile. </p>

<p>Let me know if any of this helps. </p>