<p>I currently live with my dad and commute to school. Anyways here's the deal. My dad tells me to apply for student loans to pay the tuition. He says he'll help pay when the loan becomes due. However,in the past he has been very up and down in terms of helping me with school fees. In addition the loan is only in MY NAME. My dad is one of those types where he dosen't like to spend money on things. For instance if its his credit card he's very self conscious about every dollar he spends. Yet, he always says take out higher school loans etc. Then I asked him how do I know you will really help with the loans;he says "You'll know if I don't Pay". He also claimed he wants me to move once I've graduated and he'll send me the money to help with the loans. I'm thinking to myself would he be so quick to do this if the loan was also in his name. Nevertheless, I'm worried that he might not help like he said once the loan comes due and leave me holding the bag. How can I make sure he helps when it comes due?</p>
<p>Honestly, you can’t but is there a specific reason why you can’t trust him? It sounds like you’ve done what you can to minimize the costs by living at home. Are you also working? Many parents can’t or won’t pay for college and many students assume that responsibility. Others, including many of us, feel that our kids should have some part in financing their education. And perhaps he feels that his contribution is room, board, car, phone, etc - those expenses do add up quickly! Although it seems unfair to the student, you have to remember that after years of supporting kids, mortgages, cars, etc. we also have to fund our rapidly approaching retirements! To me, it sounds like your dad just doesn’t want to take on extra debt at this point in his life…and he likely has his financial priorities figured out.</p>
<p>Do you understand that the loans will not be due in a lump sum? The typical repayment is spread over 10 years, so the monthly amount due on Stafford loans should be manageable if you can avoid other debt like credit cards. Finaid.org has some loan calculators you can play with.</p>
<p>You can’t rely on him. The loans will be in your name. Can you afford the loans you are looking at?</p>
<p>It’s called a contract or promissory note. Have him sign something saying that he will pay. Have his signature notarized and keep the paper somewhere safe. </p>
<p>Just realize that you may have to sue him to get him to pay.</p>
<p>And if he won’t sign, then you have your answer about whether he’s serious about helping you.</p>
<p>To SKR8: My dad makes very good money. I can’t trust him becuse he’s swishy washy and his name is not aprt of the loan. To Erin’s Dad: I don’t know if I will be able to afford them loans cause once I move out all expeses Apartment, Food, Phone etc will be on me. It’ll depend on how good the job i get pays. I’m an Accounting major. To Cheveda: how do i make a prommissary note?</p>
<p>Chevda, are you serious? As a parent, I would be incredibly hurt and offended if my kids asked for something like that and would certainly refuse…who would CHOOSE to help someone who treated them like that? If Dad is willing to provide room and board throughout those college years, he’s already helping a great deal. All he is asking is that the kid move out after she graduates! I think that’s a perfectly reasonable request and that the OP needs to work on becoming less dependent on Dad.</p>
<p>Kitty, how much debt are you talking about? Although your dad may make very good money, it is HIS money. He likely expects you to make your own money and probably plans to help you in the early years. Good parents do not hand their kids everything on a platter - they know that self-reliance is an asset and builds character. </p>
<p>Unbelievable though it seems, most college grads successfully manage to support themselves and pay their student loans. There are even income-based repayment options. I would strongly recommend that you do not risk damaging your relationship with your dad by asking for a promissory note, but do ask him for help setting up your budget, reviewing leases and other documents, and let him know if you truly need help. Otherwise, welcome to adulthood…get out your checkbook:)</p>
<p>Don’t take out more loans than you can afford to pay off yourself. If your dad is able to help you pay them off then that is gravy. If not they are your loans end you alone are legally responsible for repaying them. </p>
<p>I know I would love to help my kids repay their loans if I am financially able. But I have encouraged them to only take out only as much as they need and no more than the max subsidized loans as it is likely i will not be able to help them and they are the ones legally responsible for their debt.</p>
<p>To SKR8: Debt we’re talking about close to 20K.</p>
<p>Assuming these are Stafford loans, your monthly payment would be $230 under the standard repayment plan. That should be affordable.</p>
<p>20K Total debt? Thats a decent car loan like a honda accord. Not unreasonable or excessive assuming you get a degree which has reasonable career potential to allow you to make enough to pay it off.</p>
<p>The point is my dad promised he would help and I would like to rest assured that he will. However, I have my doubts for various reasons and he keeps telling me to get more loans.</p>
<p>If you don’t get the loans can you still pay for school? </p>
<p>If not then you don’t really have a choice. There is no way you can make your dad help pay them off if they are in your name. If you can manage without the loans then don’t take them out.</p>
<p>I have already taken them out. No, I need the loans to pay for school because that is what my dad wants.</p>
<p>You need the loans to pay for school because that is what your father wants? I am confused. They are YOUR loans … YOU are responsible for repaying them. If you can pay for school without loans, why would you borrow? If you CAN’T pay for school without loans, YOU need them … in such a scenario, stating that your father wants you to borrow is shifting responsibility. If you need it, you need it. If you don’t, you don’t. It doesn’t matter what dad wants or doesn’t want.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I think the real issue is that you’re reluctant to assume responsibility for your own debt and seem to fear independence. I don’t mean this in an unkind way, but I really think that you will rest easier once make up your mind that you can stand on your own two feet. </p>
<p>I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” If I had an 18+ kid who was living at home and showed signs of becoming entrenched, I’d probably start charging rent. It sounds like your dad is trying to ease you into the inevitable transition. Help him out by showing him your gratitude for all that he’s provided you so far, and is continuing to provide, and stop trying to make him feel like he owes you more…he simply doesn’t! If you show him that you appreciate his hard work and are also determined to work hard and be responsible, I predict that he will be willing to help you out if you get in a bind.</p>
<p>Okay SKR8 thanks for your feedback. However, that’s not what it is. He promised me that and I expect him to keep his word. If he had never promised than I could understand if he did or didn’t help. Kelsmom you just don’t understand where I’m coming from.</p>
<p>I guess you will have your answer in about 4 or 5 years. Unfortunately, there is no way to know whether or not your dad will keep his promise until the time comes.</p>
<p>Are you working now? Are you contributing to your expenses in any other way? Have you thought about what it would cost you if your dad decided not provide a home for you while you’re in school? I think it’s sad that you don’t trust your dad, but that’s not grounds to try to hold him to what sounds like a very vague committment. When he said he’ll help you, did he specify an amount? He may decide to send $5/month and he would be fulfilling his “promise”! My advice is not to rely on others for that which you can (and should) provide for yourself. If you knew today that he would default on his “promise”, would you stop going to school? If not, then finish your education and get a job to pay it off. If you can minimize your debt, that is always a good idea - by working, looking for scholarships, etc…not by shifting the burden to someone else who is obviously unwilling to assume it!</p>
<p>What year are you in school?</p>
<p>How much are you supposed to borrow EACH year?</p>
<p>I would send my dad an email about his promise to pay and then keep his response. </p>
<p>BTW…what does 'help pay" mean? </p>
<p>Hey, you could ask your dad a question in an email and then save his response! 
You could write something like this in an email to your dad…</p>
<p>Dad, you’ve said that you’ll help me pay back my loans after I graduate. How much will you be able to pay each month for the 10 year loan repayment period?</p>
<p>And, then print out his response, and save it. Also, save the email!</p>