What do you do to feel more upbeat?

Parents Forum
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<p>What do you do to feel more upbeat?</p>

<p>I'm a sophomore in my third semester of college. Last semester, especially at the end, I had a number of workload and social issues, and I ended up feeling somewhere between sad and lost/ambivalent about college. Still, it wasn't like I wanted to transfer or anything, so I interned in the summer and was ready to come back to college in September. </p>

<p>This time I was more prepared for the workload and excited about my living situation. I know I am prone to feeling low, so I did things like take lessons in an instrument I played as a child but stopped, went to the gym and lost some weight (not intentionally but not unintentional either; didn't really change my fairly healthy diet), and made an effort to go to special places I wanted to visit (live in a tourist-attraction filled city). My classes were harder than before, but despite any stress I felt happy and excited to be at college.</p>

<p>Midterms came, things got busy, and I did stop the activities I wrote about above. My fall break was last weekend, and I was able to go home and relax. This week, even though I've only been back a couple days I can tell that the way I felt at the end of last semester is coming back a little bit. I even felt homesick, which I rarely do. </p>

<p>Last semester, what helped a little bit was listening to music, which calmed me down, and a herbal supplement I got from GNC. I don't remember the name now, but it was a long brown pill that would supposed to improve focus and mood. It may have been a placebo affect, who knows. I don't drink or party much at all, but when I did drink last semester that got me out of my head for a bit. </p>

<p>I know I am going to restart going to the gym and playing the instrument more, as that seemed to work. I don't know what it is - the weather, going home and coming back, work . . . . but I would sincerely appreciate any suggestions on how to avoid the 'doldrums' I guess. The other thing is I am going to study abroad next semester and obviously will not be able to go home for breaks as I normally do.</p>

<p>I am involved in student clubs, have a good number of friends but not a defined circle. I know it is normal to not feel blissfully happy all the time, but I would like some general life suggestions things that improve mood.</p>

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<p>It sounds like you are doing all the right things! Adult life entails a lot of work and responsibilities, as you have found out. In fact, you are miles ahead of many people because you already understand that finding happiness is up to you and is no one else’s responsibility. I don’t hear you blaming anyone or anything for your low feelings, which is really great and shows you are very mature.</p>

<p>That said, you should know that no one feels happy all the time, and I’m not sure how many people even feel happy most of the time. Only TV people do. College is not exactly a stress-free time for students who are serious and are working to ensure a good career. You have a lot of your plate, and it’s not fun and games. So what I think you could focus on is feeling content that you are where you should be, doing what you should be doing, and it sounds like you are being quite successful at it too. Can you try to feel content with your life and how you are managing it maturely, rather than looking to feel happy per se?</p>

<p>Also, is it gray where you are? If so, you might consider investing in one of those sun lamps to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder, especially for use at exam time or whenever you don’t get outside as much due to lots of studying.</p>

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<p>Good for you to have the insight to be trying to change your situation. </p>

<p>About your gym trips, I think the exercise by itself will help you, but maybe you would get a bigger boost if you were training with others, say in a class, or in a group that is training for an event like a half marathon. </p>

<p>I agree with GFG that there are lots of ups and downs to growing up and being on your own. Learning coping skills is important.</p>

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<p>A lamp is a good idea.</p>

<p>It sounds to me like you have a problem with depression. There does not have to be a reason, and there is not necessarily anything you can do about it, so don’t guilt trip yourself about not doing some of the things you mention in your post to help yourself.</p>

<p>It may be premature to suggest medication, but keep it in mind for the future. It may be premature to suggest a therapist or psychiatrist, but also keep that in mind for the future.</p>

<p>If you experience high energy moods followed by low energy “doldrums,” it could even be bipolar disorder, which would mean different medications.</p>

<p>I am not saying you are suffering from any of these things. Just a possibility to keep on the back burner.</p>

<p>You could also have yourself tested for low thyroid or other physiological problems.</p>

<p>In the meantime, exercise, sleep, eating well, socializing, activities and managing time to keep stress down are all good strategies. But if they don’t always work or you cannot always do these things, don’t blame yourself. Depression and other mood issues are often brain-based, biological problems.</p>

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<p>I would encourage some form of physical activity. Science has shown that 30 minutes of cardio exercise has the same effect on the brain as a light antidepressant. It is a good place to start as exercise also relieves stress.</p>

<p>I agree with Lizardly, it might prove even more helpful to workout with someone or in a group. </p>

<p>Best wishes for a great year!</p>

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<p>I suggest you march over to health services for a full blown physical and describe everything you described here to a medical professional. It could be anything, from a physical health issue to a mental health issue, but the crowd here at CC is not going to be able to diagnose it. At the very worst, you’ll get a clean bill of health and won’t have to worry about it being anything organic, but I suspect you may have a bit of anxiety and/or depression.</p>

<p>One thing is for sure, it’s been going on for so long, you probably aren’t going to have any sudden insight into what it is, and it probably won’t go away on it’s own. See a doctor.</p>

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<p>It’s great that you are so proactive about your situation (it took me until my 30’s to realize what you know at 19). </p>

<p>In grad school I took to playing an old instrument I had dropped after high school. I didn’t take lessons, I just bought new sheet music. What I found was that I played more during exam periods, not less. I also biked every week but when I had to put in long hours studying for exams, I went on a quick 45 (ten miles) bike ride in the afternoon. </p>

<p>In other words, don’t drop your activities during mid terms. That when you need the stress relief most. Try finding quick variations of what you do (play a favorite piece for half an hour; go for a walk)</p>

<p>I second the physical checkup. Can’t hurt.</p>

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<p>You’re doing well. Kudos for taking steps to address your situation.</p>

<p>In grad school I took to playing an old instrument I had dropped after high school. I didn’t take lessons, I just bought new sheet music. What I found was that I played more during exam periods, not less. I also biked every week but when I had to put in long hours studying for exams, I went on a quick 45 (ten miles) bike ride in the afternoon. </p>

<p>In other words, don’t drop your activities during mid terms. That is when you need the stress relief most. Try finding quick variations of what you do (play a favorite piece for half an hour; go for a walk) if you think you don’t have time. </p>

<p>I second the physical checkup. Can’t hurt.</p>

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<p>How about yoga? Great for stress reduction, gets you exercising with a group of people, & maintains flexibility.</p>

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<p>You’re doing all the ones I would have suggested (exercise, listening to music). I would add talking to someone about how you feel (like a therapist) or even just keeping a journal where you write down what you’re feeling. And remember-- there’s nothing wrong with feeling down. I think our society places an expectation on people to be up and happy all the time. People tell you college is the best years of your life. I liked college, but it’s very stressful realizing you’re pretty much on your own and responsible to choose a major, get yourself places, do your own laundry and also at some point find a job. </p>

<p>I find one thing that makes me calm and feel better (especially when I’m stressed) is deep breathing while listening to relaxing music (I especially like anything to do with water – thunderstorms; waves crashing on the shore; babbling brooks). Diana Vreeland said water is nature’s tranquilizer – being in it, on it, or just looking at it relaxed her. </p>

<p>And most of all, go easy on yourself. Just getting through college in one piece, emotionally, academically and physically, is an achievement in itself.</p>

<p>Do you have a buddy who will be away at the same time as you? Or could you find one on Facebook? Maybe you feel apprehensive about the trip (exciting as I’m sure it is).</p>

<p>Hang in there.</p>

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<p>I think the advice you have gotten here is right on the mark. Exercise and yoga were the two things that immediately came to my mind. Also, I think keeping in mind the advice of a previous poster that most people are not happy ALL the time will keep things in perspective. There is a lot of hype that surrounds the first few years at college, and unfortunately hype is all it is. College is hard work, along with taking care of your own needs independent of the safety and comfort of your family. At least that’s what it is if you are doing it right. Sounds like you are experiencing some growing pains but because you are taking responsibility for yourself, I am pretty sure you will work this out. Stay busy and surround yourself with people who support who you are. Getting off campus once or twice a week might be helpful as well.</p>

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<p>Me again. I remembered something I read when Gretchen Rubin was posting the Happiness Project on Slate. It’s like a Zen/Buddhist thing - focus on one thing each day that makes you happy. It can be as simple as a child’s smile, or the way tree branches move up and down in the wind, or the feel of the sun on your face.</p>

<p>My recent things that made me happy: running in the morning and seeing a sliver of the moon still hanging in the sky. I haven’t consciously noticed the moon in a long time, and it looked so pale and beautiful there.</p>

<p>Standing in line to get the NY Post at the train station, and hearing a girl about my daughter’s age ask if she could buy a banana with a debit card, and the guy behind the counter said no, so I…bought the banana for her. It was 75 cents. She was surprised and thanked me. Remembering that made me happy all day.</p>