I have picked a list already.
Say what?
@lookingforward, it is in the first post of this thread.
What a strange thread.
I have no skin in the college admissions game (very young kids) but I have a STEM Ph.D from an Ivy+, have taught very motivated and accomplished students, written recs, and let me tell you, when you get way up there in the talent stratosphere, being liked is an immeasurable asset – in academia & life. We don’t live live in isolation.
The most iconic entrepreneur, Steve Jobs, believed that brilliance comes from teamwork. Just google the parable of the stone. Why not give a start-up a go? It is technically a job, has cache in many elite circles, and I’m sure would be enlightening and full of meaningful personal growth to build something real from scratch.
And if he is successful, maybe he won’t need college at all.
Do you think I should really push my son now to get some B’s in the subjects he doesn’t like so that he doesn’t look like a grade grubber? Right now, he ruthlessly masters anything put in front of him whether or not he likes it, and naturally gets A+'s. I always believed in putting no effort whatsoever in subjects that one doesn’t like, but I never pushed him on that other than some discussions, and OK, some shouting matches. I was not aware that the straight A+ will hurt him that badly.
@windinthewillows, I know my son. He loathes business enterprise of any sort and he would anyway go stark raving mad in the chaos of a startup even if he liked it. He is a writer, a poet, a painter, a musician, and a mathematician. He is who he is. He is very well liked by his peers, of course, as he is very generous with help. But he is not one that works well in a group. Well, no poet does, really. Poetry is not a team sport.
“Thankfully, we have been able to do well at work and exceptionally well in investments based on our own talent and only our own talent, and without having to depend on others in the network. Thank goodness for meritocracy.”
This is one statement that rubs people the wrong way. It did me. If it’s all about you, your achievements and your independence of others, then I think we are just wasting our time, despite your entreaty to those of us parents in THIS network to come out of the woodwork and provide feedback. Good luck to your S.
It’s “shoo-in” btw.
I have perused this entire thread, and remain confused. The OP clearly stated that her son is 14. Is he a junior who skipped several grades? If not, it is very premature to be speaking in such absolute and certain terms about his college prospects. He is undoubtedly gifted, but he still has several critical years in which everything can change. He is the one who will eventually have to make these decisions. Once he is eighteen, you cannot make any choices outside of those involving financial support. Saying that you have already decided where he will apply raises every superstitious hackle I have. The old saying (popular even among non-believers) goes “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.” Teenagers, and especially teenage boys, have a nasty habit of asserting their own minds. Good luck to you and your son!
@AttorneyMother, I am sorry that you feel that way, as you gave me the most pertinent advice, to get a good private college counselor ASAP. So, thank you.
@windinthewillows, I will forever be grateful to you for correcting the typo.
@woogzmama, I agree much can change in the next 3 years. However, I am a planner and I want to make sure that if something is going off track I know what to look out for.
Does JustOneKid enjoy anything? He doesn’t enjoy his sport (squash) he doesn’t enjoy science, he doesn’t enjoy cello but grinds away at it. Perhaps if he did something he enjoyed life would be better? A little relaxation yoga? Swimming laps endlessly in a pool until he can’t think anymore? My daughter does play a sport that challenges her and yet loves to play until she’s exhausted, likes to work out until she’d give anything for a bottle of water and a bed. I guess I don’t see playing until one is angry or frustrated is a good choice of a sport.
There is really no point to this thread other than for the OP to boast that her son is superior to all, and is willing to check all the boxes until an Ivy accepts him.
“Say what?” is a gentler way of saying “WTF?”
I saw your list.
We have varying levels of experience with the elites and know it is so much more than top achievements. Or pursuing only the few things one thinks are worthy of his time (or that family does.) We make suggestions and you tell us why they don’t fit him. Do as you wish.
You seem to know very little about what top colleges want, how they describe, “what we look for.” NO, you should not push him to get B’s. But if you can “push” him, why not try to influence him to do more than just “what he wants?”
I always believed in putting no effort whatsoever in subjects that one doesn’t like
This is all so off. Why are you producing a string of ideas so counter to what the colleges themselves say they like and look for?
I can’t name a college that exists solely for some kid to indulge in only what he wants. Even Brown, with its curriculum, wants kids who understand life is more that.
@twoinanddone, He loves squash and cello. But we are cutting back on the squash as travelling to pay a tournament once every month is hurting other ECs. So from now on he will only play in the in-state tournaments which means his points and ranking will drop. As for cello, he is going strong and is in a rather renowned Youth Philharmonic. But there is a better one in town and I am encouraging him to go for that.
I am not sure where you got the impression that he doesn’t like squash or cello.
@Lookingforward, I am confused. I thought getting straight A+'s is ruthless grade grubbing and colleges don’t like that. The only 2 things I have pushed back on are getting in as a recruited athlete and volunteering/getting a paid job. Was there anything else that I pushed back on?
You say:
THIS IS volunteering.
I am assuming he will be applying to the Ross Summer Mathematics Program? Really an excellent program!
Does Harvard still have the joint program with NEC? You may wish to look into that.
I will PM you the name of a great private college counselor.
If he does not have joy and engagement, and show that he can radiate influence towards a community, he may have difficulty with some admissions. As you point out, your experience was from some time ago. The ability to influence/guide others, and to lead/organize in an area of passion is a component of many successful applicants. I don’t know which schools are oriented towards single-minded achievers and which are oriented towards influencers/large-footprint-impacters, but you may want to posit that question to the college counselor. I would think UCLA and UCB may care less about that large footprint than, say, MIT.
To get into a competitive school requires one to accept you.
@ItsJustSchool, Thank you!
As I said before, I dream of Harvard/NEC joint program but I know that the odds of getting into it are less than 0. As for Ross, he can’t go this year as it conflicts with Tanglewood but next year it will be Ross hopefully (though he wants to go to PROMYS instead and will apply to both).
I thought getting straight A+'s is ruthless grade grubbing and colleges don’t like that.
Who said that? You described your own son as ruthless. The word came up a couple of times. Not an endearing adjective.
Tutoring or coaching friends is nice but not community service.
You may love Boston, but there is only one Ross. I’m sure your son can understand this. Actually, PROMYS is run by Ross graduates and probably emulates a lot of Ross. I am sure it is probably OK, as well.
I met a kid several years ago that did the Harvard/NEC program and really loved it.
For those parents with kids gunning for Caltech or Stanford…should be thankful this parent does not have those schools on her “list”…
This reminded me of something I observed last year during the whole “how did Kwazi Ennin accomplish an all Ivy clean sweep?” debate. I don’t agree with the apply-to-every-Ivy application strategy, but there are things to learn from Ennin’s success. His high-school accomplishments did not measure up to those outlined in the OP. But I maintained then and I still maintain that one of the reasons so many selective schools wanted him to be part of their freshman class could be traced to his likability. After seeing him interviewed, I could easily imagine an adcom saying, “I LIKE this kid. I think he’d fit in well here.” (Note: not ruthless or impatient or superior, but likable.)
Maybe that’s something to work on during the next few years.
@Lookingforward, I do believe that my son is ruthless when it comes to … most anything. If there is anything put in front of him he will carefully structure the problem, execute with undivided focus, and get to a superlative result (superlative by his ridiculously high standards which considers any small setback as earth-shattering). He doesn’t leave anything to chance. As a result he gets straight A+'s. I didn’t know that colleges do not like such kids. How do I correct this?
@ItsJustSchool, I agree that there is only one Ross, and I have tremendous respect for the Harvard/NEC program. I know several kids who are in that program, who were also taught by my son’s composition teacher. It is truly for really special kids.
Thing is, I am not sure that my son is that special. He is OK, but not that good.
@Elliemom, That’s acting, though. I have always taught him that some people will like him for who he is, and others don’t matter.
- I dream of…*