<p>The most important part is not what college is good for your kid. I think all college are same, but I think the better college is where your kid can pursue his dream. By the way coming April my kid will have a tough coice to make as he has got more likely letter from other top colleges but I am happy for him. Let us wait for financial aid. And in the end life without or with IVY is not the end. </p>
<p>Be happy for your kid's choice and support for them who they are. Be there for them and let them make coices as this is the path to enter adulthood. Say to them more often "I love you" as life is short. Afterall we all are mortal being.</p>
<p>Well, I definitely told my kids the same thing as far as the smaller E/Cs , awards, etc. Keep a log or folder, and make a note IMMEDIATELY of everything that falls into this category. Maybe by the time you are a senior you will have a long list, and be able to use the most outstanding of those; perhaps one of those could inspire you to write an essay; you never know. Nor are you going to remember all your activities when you are actually stressing out over the applications.</p>
<p>I also had my D apply rolling way back in August/sept., so she had that extra practice, plus had experienced putting together the application, and found out that it did take a whole longer than she had imagined. On the + side, she got her rolling acceptance way beore sending out any other applications, and was that ever a confidence booster!!</p>
<p>Things I have learned about myself . . .and am still learning: I am too close to the issue to have a very good perspective, so I have to work daily at detachment. College issues tend to bring out some of my worst-self issues, what some would call my "false self" issues, such as getting sucked in to the tendency placing too much emphasis on achievement; even if I control it outwardly and keep son from seeing it, I know it is there within me. Much of this process also has to do with separation issues (second son is my youngest biological child . . .I recently remarried) I find it too easy, especially in the midst of the process, to get obsessed about "where will he go" and "what will he do." I AM trying, though. To get beyond it, I meditate. And have a very patient spouse!</p>
<p>me too. I have been so concerned about my S finding the "perfect school" as he is a very different kid. It is hard not to become obsessed. To be fair, I really would love him to find a place he "fits in" and not a University that is like an extension of his high school where money, preppies and sports rule. He has never been comfortable there.</p>
<p>I also like to plan ahead for events/trips 6 months to a year or so in advance. It has really been hard this year feeling like we have totally lost control, not having a clue where he will be packing for next August.</p>
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<p>serenity now serenity now serenity now... was that from Seinfeld or something?</p>
<p>momof3, kdos; I can relate.</p>
<p>My D is the sort of person who could really blossom at the right place... I think the place will make a big difference for her. So it is hard not to be obsessed. But now she has a few EA acceptances in hand and I know that she would be happy at them, I can breathe a little easier.</p>
<p>I learned that you need to love the kid you've got (thanks, Jamimom) and plan for the kid he or she might become. There were times over the past four years that I thought S would barely crawl into a low-level college, but I gathered courage and kept quietly researching and casually name-dropping different colleges I thought he should consider. I'm glad I did, because when he was finally ready to use his potential, he took off academically, and I was ready with a range of possibilities, from safeties he loved to super-reaches that nobody in our family had ever considered applying to. Some kids change A LOT in high school. You have to try to visualize who they might be by the end.</p>
<p>I also learned that you could come away with some great stories from college trips.</p>
<p>On the four day trip, we missed an exit and ended up on the wrong side of town. (Really bad!!)
(We had ladies of the night looking into our car.) I was soooo happy to see two police cars in a strip mall. We pulled up, said that we were lost and asked how to get on the highway. Well one of the officers got out of his car, came over, looked into our car and saw the maps and college guides and started laughing. He very kindly told us to follow him to the highway, about 10 minutes away and waved us goodbye.</p>
<ol>
<li> I should have a lot of extra money laying around somewhere;</li>
<li> Our high school is wayy behind the rest of the world;</li>
<li> I wouldn't mind being an admissions counselor;</li>
<li> I really need a hobby (not just a full time job);</li>
<li> I could have paid for D's college tuition if I would have picked up another job and worked all of the hours I have spent stressing over this college app. process, LOL!</li>
</ol>
<p>Isandin - I think those of you who do not have great HS curricula, GCs etc. deserve the most applause of all. This process is daunting for those of us with HS advantages. I really respect you for what you have to do on your own. I'm curious about what's missing from your S/Ds HS and how you "compensate" for it.</p>
<p>Having been through two kids now, I would say:
Don't do anything in high school based on how it will look for university apps. Live your life with deliberation and find your personal passions and embrace them...........then find the school that fits you. It's not about getting into some "prestigous" school, it's about living your life, that's YOUR life, not the one others think you should live.</p>
<p>That being said, I think you should stretch yourself and consider schools away from your comfort zone, with people who are different than those you grew up with. This is especially true of small town kids. </p>
<p>My kids grew up in a small town, then we moved and have experienced a different life for a few years. While they hated it then, now the kids are glad they have seen different lives and had their eyes opened to other choices. So many kids from our small town are living at home and messing around with community college and may stay there all their lives. Now don't get me wrong, we chose to raise our kids in that small town & it was great- but it should be an affirmative choice you make after seeing how others live, not something you fall into with no knowledge of other options.</p>
<p>Write your own essays and make sure they sound like you, if that school doesn't like "you," then why would you want to go there?</p>
<p>Rolling admit financial safety is a must for sanity :) It just feels good knowing it is there, in your back pocket all year.</p>
<p>Learn all about the finances and how to structure things as soon as possible (UGMA $, etc.)</p>
<p>jmmom..well, where to start? Academics is second to sports.. always! The high school board, high school announcements, high school awards ALL talk about athletics.. nothing on academics.. I wrote an editorial once for the local paper about this problem and can recall some of what I wrote:</p>
<p>People are complaining because our children are falling so behind in math and reading and are scoring low on metropolitan and other standardized testing and the big question is why don't our kids care about learning? Let's see.. could it be that the local papers have front page news about the kids scoring 13 touchdowns but not about the kids scoring 1300's on their SAT's? Could it be that the school announcements report who scored in the basketball games but not who won the debates or made National Honor Society? Could it be that parents will drive their kids 200 miles to play soccer but won't spend 15 minutes working on homework with their kids? That more parents are worried about their kids being football stars then the stars of our future? </p>
<p>It went something like that (although maybe a little harsher..). The bottom line at our school is that the kids see that sports get them recognition, girl friends, popularity, special treatment, etc.. being a good student gets you .. well.. good grades (and who cares?).. very sad. And no one really wants to stop it. They are content with the way things are. SO, as a result the money goes to sports, not academics. My sixth grade daughter came home last year and when I asked about homework said she had a science test the next day but she couldn't study anyway because it was Brittany's night to have the science book (imagine that).. and two years ago we spent 2.3 million dollars on a football stadium.<br>
AND yet, from this my D has made it HERE (here being a possible candidate for top 20 schools, etc) which is why this means so much to me.. she has truly earned everything she has acheived - against the odds. Now, my younger D -- that is for another thread : )</p>
<p>Isandin - Yes, I see and totally sympathize. $2.3M for HS football stadium?!!? We are lucky. Our school has the worst athletic fields in the state, yet teams still tops in several sports (soccer, lacrosse, tennis...). And tops in academics. You are rightfully proud of your D and should be of yourself also.</p>