<p>I don't remember reading a thread like this out here and I thought it might be interesting to ask: what has the college search taught you about yourself? We of course have learned tons about colleges and the whole search/visit/app process, but have you learned anything new about yourself? We definitely have. I have learned that I am less patient and more controlling than I thought I was. I have learned my husband is much better at dealing with this type of situation in an outwardly calm way (no matter what he was really thinking). My H was more emotional inwardly than I thought he would be. Watching my son in and through this process has been both joyful and in equal amounts frustrating and stressful. I have really had to rein in my thoughts/opinions. We actually got to the point that from November 1-Dec 6, we never spoke about college admissions and how his remaining apps were going. I couldn't get into the conversation without wanting to scream. My husband, equally frustrated but maybe as a manager better trained to handle stressful situations/deadlines, handled the deadlines and the conversations regarding status calmly. </p>
<p>This waiting for merit info is not much easier. I haven't felt like it was this hard to wait since I was pregnant!
:-)</p>
<p>Thank you kdos! I have been thinking along the same lines. What have we learned?
Two years ago, #1 S was not involved in a college search, it was a question of where he could get accepted. D has been the interesting one for the past 18 months, but now she is in. The big question is, what about #2 S, who is only in 7th grade. How will he do in school and on the standardized tests, in whatever form they will take in 4 years? Where will he want to look as far as geographic location? What type(s) of schools will he consider? How will he hold up the experiences of #1 S and D to us?
I am trying to do a post-mortem on Ds experiences as a guide for how we deal with #2 son in 4 years. The school visits, the reading of reams of material from numerous schools, the discussions with friends, reading CC, to which I am a relative newcomer, and dealing with school counselors.
I am not sure of what I have leardned, but I am looking forward to hearing from others.</p>
<p>UM Dad - how did things turn out for S #1? This forum focuses so much on high achievers...sounds like your S#1 was more average...hope things worked out for him!</p>
<p>It is a very interesting process and told us alot about our family dynamics. It's funny, we started to look at schools by doing a quick trip over to Swarthmore end of August before my S's Junior year. NO ONE at his school and I mean NO ONE his age was looking then AT ALL. I think one thing I learned from this is you cannot really get involved too early in high school. Some people out here have mentioned that for years they would stop on a campus when close to one on vacation. Great idea! It's very tough to know what works for a particular kid and until they really see the place and/or talk to students/teachers themselves, some cannot know what they want. </p>
<p>I am assuming your D is at UM. How is she getting along (or is she starting next Fall)?</p>
<p>Kdos, I had to smile with your comments about being controlling - I knew that I was controlling, I spend all day answering a neverending series of questions, and telling people what to do, I KNOW I'm controlling,D)</p>
<p>What I learned is about myself is that the traits my daughter has that irritate me the most are the ones taht she definitely inherited from me - it is OK to be a procrastinator, but DD better darn well not be!</p>
<p>I've learn that even not-so-talented kids get accepted into good universities, while talented kids don't. Also, I've learn that you get screwed pretty badly on financial aid if you're an intenational. Booooo!</p>
<p>I learned I'm darn glad I went to college when I did back in the dark ages (of course, we had to walk 5 miles to school, in snow, with no shoes....) -- unlike today's kids, we had lotsa free time to slack off and still get into top universities.</p>
<p>LOL! We had abit of that going on here as well......the traits that drive me crazy in my H can also be found in my S--big time. Perfectionist Procrastinators of the world--UNITE!</p>
<p>Haven't yet gotten my kids into college yet but I can say that so far in the process the number 1 thing I've learned is not to worry too much - there are lots of great schools out there and most kids end up happy in the end.</p>
<p>Not to fall in love with one particular school (D was deferred at her ED school). Also to have the apps and the essays done very early, so I don't have to scream and threaten D to do them 2 days before they are due. Also to be more prepared and visit colleges earlier, I have a son also currently in 9th grade. I guess I will also start earlier having my son tutored for the SAT. Isn't that awful?</p>
<p>carolyn <there are="" lots="" of="" great="" schools="" out="" there="" and="" most="" kids="" end="" up="" happy="" in="" the=""> I am not through the process either, but in the midst of my stressing over merit aid..I REALLY hope you are right!</there></p>
<p>lowermorelandmom <not to="" fall="" in="" love="" with="" one="" particular="" school=""> that is so hard!</not></p>
<p>achat <I've learned that I am pretty nosy and controlling especially under duress.</p>
<ol>
<li>start early on everything (writing essays, SAT tests, contacting coaches, etc)</li>
<li> find safeties your kid will love attending & be enthusiastic about them</li>
<li> Apply EA to at least one or two schools to take pressure off</li>
<li> Be realistic about "reach, match, safety"</li>
<li> Never forget it is your last year with your precious child-- keep having fun together!</li>
</ol>